


Red Fate

by DragonofFernweh



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Itachi/OC - Freeform, M/M, Sasuke/OC - Freeform, im rewriting all of them but this one took me so long like??boi, this is an old work i rewrote
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 08:14:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 90,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11710428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonofFernweh/pseuds/DragonofFernweh
Summary: After living a life between captivity and going on the run, Amaya and Alex finally succumb to getting caught by a slave trader and sold as pets to two of the most notorious men alive. Uchiha Itachi and Sasuke are men born of the most revered vampire clan in the city. No one caught in the ensuing chaos could have anticipated how tangled their lives would become with one another.





	1. Chapter 1

_You don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have._

ღ

It wasn't supposed to happen this way, not like this, never like this. Not after all we went through, how hard we fought, how long we ran... I thought we'd escaped, I thought we'd proven those stuffy old library books wrong and that you  _could_  outrun your past. It turned out that those books were right, and they were sugarcoating it. I was hopeful, I had always been a dreamer, and I'd tried to make some of them come true, if not for me, then at least for my brother. But, only those at the top can afford to dream. I guess I deserve having reality punch me right in the face for that. It's all right, though.

I punch back.

* * *

 Have you ever felt yourself turn numb? Completely numb, as if your senses have turned off and left you to face the world in gray static? That's how it feels when you're completely consumed by panic, the raw sort of panic that grips you by your bones. Panic's not the greatest asset when you're trying to fight for your life. It might be good for that burst of adrenaline, but it's such a brief strike that it wears off too quick.

I don't remember much of what happened—as I said, completely numb—when they first found us. I never even realized someone was stalking us, following our trail until they were ready to finish the job. It happened so fast, in a blur of color and shouting that left me feeling like the whole world had turned upside down on me. One second I was standing in an open clearing, ears pricked at the sound of leaves crunching. The next, my senses got filled with shouting and rough hands were grabbing at my arms.

I do remember screaming for my brother to run, and I tried to keep the bastards off him long enough for him to make an escape. There were just too many of them; all men, burly and hulking. I wasn't going to outmatch them, and I knew my brother wasn't going to outrun them, but we were sure as hell going to try. What else is there to do but to try? I'd tried for years to cover our tracks and keep ourselves off the radar. I'd tried to make sure we were safe, and it hadn't made a difference. We were sitting ducks that whole time…and I had promised I'd protect my brother. The men that came for us were wearing dirty clothes, neither peasant garb nor that pretty silk that the richer folks wore. A silver gleam hung around one man's throat; the guy that snatched me up by both my arms and pulled me close enough to smell the whiskey on his breath. I recognized the insignia on the man's necklace, and it was enough for me to gather the strength to kick him right in the groin.

I'm still bitter about the way he shoved my face into the dirt.

These men were catchers; those who hunted people down and sold them into the slave market. People who were out on the streets, pretty faces who stayed out too late and never made it home, and people like us. Two ragged, hideaway vagabonds with no family and nowhere to go. I must've gotten too cocky, too comfortable in the way we were living. I mean, you spend so long evading something awful and you start to believe you're immune to it, like you're indomitable. I wasn't feeling so unbreakable when a pair of strong, and rather angry, hands manhandled me into the back of a van. My head collided against one of the barred walls inside the bed of the van, and moments after, I saw them toss the crumpled form of my brother in alongside me. The sight of them treating him with such carelessness ripped the blanket of numbness off me, leaving my senses raw and sizzling.

"Let us out!" I screamed, lunging towards the door even when it slammed in my face. I pounded my fists against it, breaking the skin of my knuckles on the iron bars that protected the back door. Sweat dripped down my temple and into a cut I had on my cheek, and I only screamed louder. I don't doubt that I would have broken both my hands before the door ever gave way. The only thing standing in my way was the hand that snatched me by my shoulder and yanked me back, away from the door.

"Stop it!" my brother snapped, his hand tight on my shoulder, "you're going to hurt yourself even worse!"

I blinked away the grit from my eyes to focus on the swimming picture of his face, his round eyes were wide with concern and panic. I felt struck by the sight of how young he looked. His face had sharpened over the years as he started growing from the small, waifish boy I knew and into an adult. He was still but seventeen, and while that may be an adult to most, he would always be my little brother. Shame welled in my chest when I realized that I had scared him with my vicious display. He'd been through enough without my adding to it.

I bowed my head into my hands to cover my anguish. "How could I have been such an idiot?" I murmured, unable to stop myself from replaying the whole scene in my head. Had I been faster, stronger, had I noticed from the start that someone was tracking us, then we wouldn't be sitting in a roving cage on our way to a slave market. I'd doomed the only person I had left to protect. Some guardian I was, huh? "I'm so sorry, Alex. I'm so sorry," I said, but I knew I could spit all the apologies I wanted to and it wouldn't fix anything.

My brother gave me a shaky smile that tried to be reassuring. "Hey, we've been through worse. We can make it out of this, too." He gave my shoulder a squeeze. The brave face he was trying to put on melted my heart, and my heart didn't need any more to deal with. Of the two of us, Alex was the one who tended to keep his cool in the face of catastrophe. He was the only reason I'd kept my head over the years. I don't remember a time without him, after all. I was but a year older than he was. Even as children, he'd been the quieter kid, more interested in books than anything else. He took after our father, who was a reserved and taciturn man. I guess I took after our mother, but all I remember about her now was her voice. She used to sing to us, when we couldn't sleep or when we were afraid. I would kill to hear her, now.

I was six when my parents died, my brother was five. I don't remember how they died, but I remember spending the whole night alone. I huddled up in their bed and cradled my brother in a hug as we pretended neither of us were afraid of the dark. When morning came, it wasn't our parents who knocked on the door, but a pair of men dressed in blinding white who promised they would take care of us. I was only six years old, how I was I to know any better? I didn't know they were bad men. They dressed in white, they were calm, like any doctor. Doctors were supposed to be good people. We had no other family to take us in, no one was going to notice two scruffy children going missing, especially not two ibrida.

Ibrida were considered filthy, stupid, like animals. We were people born with animal characteristics both in appearance and senses, and we tended to stay together in large families, like packs. We stuck with our kind. My parents were on their own when they had children, though; my mother was a Lupus ibrida, wolf, and my father a Feles, cat. As I said earlier, I took after my mother, and my brother after our father. Ibrida were the ones most often sold into the slave market, regarded as pets by nobles and rich folks.

There were plenty of uses that people preyed on when it came to slavery. People got sold as servants, maids, entertainment, sometimes even food. Everyone knew the black market dealt in awful, heinous work, but as long as everyone benefited from it, they were happy to turn a blind eye. Powerful businesses often purchased people for labor; you didn't have to pay a servant, and when they outgrew their prime, you could recycle them. I tried not to think about the worst, but there was no "good" when it came down to it.

"Amaya?" I started when my brother said my name, his tentative voice almost overshadowed by the sound of tires driving over gravel. "You don't think that…you don't think they're taking us back  _there_ , do you?" he asked, wringing his hands.

I straightened up to lean my back against the bars in the van. I couldn't answer him in certainty, but I could give him a pretty good guess. "I doubt that. These men work for the slave run, Alex, they look nothing like the doctors did," I reassured. As pitiful as the good news was, I saw Alex's shoulders relax a fraction. Any minutia of good news was better than nothing, I suppose. I'd sworn to never allow either of us to go back to those laboratories. No matter how terrible this fate was, it would be better than what was in store for anyone at that facility.

My brother and I spent seven years, caged and at the mercy of reckless and painful experiments at the hands of people who never saw us as children. They didn't look at any of the people imprisoned there as anything other than subjects. I met the devil while trapped in that place, and for as long as I live, I will never forget his cold, intelligent, and vindictive eyes. I would sooner die than ever see any of them again. When I broke us out of that hellhole, I swore I would tear out the throat of any of them I ever saw again, with nothing but my teeth if I had to. I guess my word wasn't very good, looking at where I was, now.

The van came to a stop that made both Alex and I lurch forward, thrown off balance by the screeching halt. Instinctively, we reached out for one another, seeking out the only comfort we've ever known. From outside, I listened as muffled, gruff voices bantered back and forth, rounding the van to come to the backdoor. The handle jiggled as one of the catchers worked to unlock it, and as it started to open, a growl worked its way up my throat and I pushed Alex behind me. The doors flung open, revealing the gray brick wall of a towering building as well as a hulking man whom I didn't recognize as one of the catchers. He must've been a guard for the particular compound. He stepped inside the bed of the van, shaking the whole vehicle. A sleazy chuckle bled past his cracked lips when his eyes passed first over my brother, then over me. There was nothing in his eyes, it was like he was looking at two pieces of meat.

"What've we got here?" he asked, slapping his hands together with a booming clap. Behind me, I felt Alex flinch at the noise as it echoed in our small enclosure. "It looks like two fresh pieces of veal. What's the matter, did you get caught by the big bad slave catcher? Too stupid to cover your tracks?" The yokel threw his head back with a guffaw. Comedy must be hard to come by, in these parts.

"I don't think you have any room to talk about being stupid, Jumbo," Alex hissed out. I smirked at the noise the guard made—like a dying cat—and commended my brother's quick wit. My amusement was brief before it got snuffed out when the man lumbered forward, his thick arm outstretched to grab at Alex. Without a second thought, I was standing and driving my fist into the bastard's gut as hard as I could. Neither of us enjoyed it much; he let out a pained burst of air and my wrist cracked in protest. He stumbled back and I collapsed back onto the floor, cradling my hand, and lamenting how hard that guy was beneath his shirt. I thought he'd be soft, but there was a wall of muscle. "You bitch," he snarled, spittle flying from his mouth as he lunged and grabbed a handful of my hair.

From somewhere behind me, I heard my brother screaming. At least, I think I did. It might've been myself I was hearing, as I kicked and clawed at the man's hands, all while he dragged me out of the van and across the dirt.t. It was as if I were nothing but a sack of potatoes to him. He lost his grip on me once, but before I could pick myself up long enough to take advantage of his falter, he'd snatched me by the back of my shirt and swung me off the ground. My back and head slammed into the brick of the building, and in the split-second I was awake long enough to feel it, my entire body was a flash-bomb of pain.

* * *

_I can hear someone screaming. It's that shrieky, frantic scream that children call to the heavens, the one when you know something is truly, terribly awry. A bout of breathless crying follows the screaming, as if the child has screamed all she can. Her lungs are too raw to do anything except gag on gut-wrenching sobs. I don't want to open my eyes, I believe I can go my whole life without seeing what's making a child emit such horrible sounds._

_Slowly, as if I'm not even the one controlling my body, my eyes pry open to blinding white. Nothing but white surrounds me, and it takes me several seconds to realize that, in the sea of stark whiteness, there are people. Chained to a table is a little girl with wild red hair, her wrists are bloody and raw from the way she keeps yanking her wrists on them, struggling to tear herself free. A part of me wants to shout at her to stop, but I don't think she'll hear me. She's transfixed on something behind me, her little eyes blown wide and her face stricken with horror._

_I have to turn. I have to turn around. My bones creak as I twist myself to look. A tiny little boy sits strapped to a chair, his skinny arms pinned straight. On either side of this fragile looking child, there are amorphous white beings, creatures that I can't seem to see any shape in, they simply…are. They're injecting a dark, viscous liquid into the boy's arm, and he's screaming, my god, is he screaming. I try to back away from his deafening shrieks, wracked with pain and confusion, but I'm glued to my spot. Why are they doing this? Is he sick, are they helping him? Why is he crying so much? From behind me, the girl's screaming has started again, louder this time. Why? What's happening to them, here? "Why are you doing this?!" I hear a voice shout, and it sounds like my own._

_I hear someone moving, walking, and I whip around in time to see someone slap their hand across the little girl's face. Blood splatters from her mouth and onto me, flecking my face in warm, sticky droplets. This creature is one I can see. It's a man, with long dark hair and translucent skin. My stomach turns when I realize I can see his veins. It's like I'm watching a horrible scene unfold through the eyes of a character when the man starts to turn, too slow. It feels like I've stood here for hours before the curtain of his hair falls out of the way and he has turned to face me. His eyes are yellow, and they bore into me with cold, dangerous intent, as if he may kill me right there._

_The girl is still screaming._

* * *

 I woke up choking on a gasp. Startled by the jarring awakening, I bolted upright and felt immediate regret when my head exploded with pain. My back felt bruised and my legs scraped raw, but with a cautious touch to the back of my head, I determined that there was no bleeding, and that was all that mattered. I opened one eye with a dull groan, but everything around me was dim. I was still struggling to realign myself with consciousness when a sudden force collided into me, two strong arms crushing me into a hug before I could cry out in surprise. "I was so worried," a muffled voice muttered against my shoulder, "you were out for so long!"

Alex. Relief watered down my immediate panic and I wrapped my arms around him in a loose hug. "I'm all right," I croaked, my throat feeling like I'd swallowed gallons of sand. I pulled back and held him at arm's length to get a good look at him. He looked disheveled and exhausted, but other than a few shallow cuts and some dirt covering him, he appeared unharmed. I glanced down to find a splatter of blood staining his right sleeve, and my eyes widened with horror. "Alex, what happened? What's that from?" I asked, my voice cracking in protest. How long was I out? If they had hurt him, I swear—

"It isn't mine," Alex rushed to explain, holding up his hands to calm me. "I punched one of them in the nose." A few seconds passed after the explanation where we did nothing but stare at one another, before twin smiles spread over our faces. I reached up and ruffled his dark hair fondly, which earned a proud snicker from him.

"Atta kid," I praised, unable to quell my pleasure at the thought of Alex socking one of those assholes in their smug face. I held onto Alex's shoulder and pulled myself into a decent sitting position. My head throbbed in painful, rhythmic pulses, and I wanted to collapse back into a ball of self-pity, if only my pride would let me. Instead, it suggested I stand, and I managed. It might've been on shaky legs, but I managed. The cell was too dark to see well, but I took a few cautious steps forward until my fingertips touched a grimy wall. I moved to the side, keeping my palm pressed against the coarse surface of the wall, and hoping I would find a door handle. After a few seconds, I began to believe there was no exit at all, until I finally touched a crack in the wall. There were no handles, but it felt like a door, and it was the only bet I had. Reeling back, I lunged forward and slammed my shoulder against it.

I'm not known for having great ideas. I bounced right off it and collapsed onto the ground in a heap, now in more pain than I was before. I heard my brother hiss out a startled sound somewhere to the side. Well, at least I hadn't hit him while falling. "I don't think we're breaking out of this one," I slurred, dizzy.

"You idiot, it's like a prison cell. The door slides open," Alex snarked, "if only you'd thought to ask."

I exhaled a long sigh, staying right in my spot on the floor instead of listening to my wounded pride, for now. My pride seemed a little down on her luck, lately. "How long was I out?" I asked, my dull voice only carrying far enough for Alex to barely hear. I heard fabric rustling as he shrugged, as if I could see that.

"A couple of hours, at most. The guards tossed us into this room and no one's been around since. They did something to our arms, though." Alex reached out and touched my left wrist, where a slight sting made me wince. I pulled my arm away from him and cradled it, pressing around on my wrist to try to find what Alex was talking about. My fingertips pressed over a raised bump and I swore, banging my fist against the floor. Of all the fucking things.

"It's a tracker," I snarled. They injected it deep beneath the skin, making it dangerous and risky to remove without damaging tendons or nerves. It ensured that no slave could ever escape from the market. Once they got sold, their tracker was programmed for their owner's remote so that the owner could keep track of them. There was no getting away without someone knowing our every move, now.

"If you don't stop, you're going to hurt yourself, and you don't need any help with that." Alex reached over to take my hand in his, giving it a comforting squeeze. "Don't give up yet, okay?" he told me, "we've gotten this far, we can only keep going."

I closed my eyes, but I knew he couldn't see the moisture brimming in them with how dark it was, anyway. "Yeah," I cleared my throat, "yeah, you're right, we've survived everything else, we can figure something out." If my little brother could be strong, then I had to be, too.

From behind, I heard the telltale sound of creaking gears working. Both of us flinched when the door slid open with a giant swish, illuminating our modest cell with dusky light. So thrown off by the brightness, and still not quite put together after the ordeal of earlier, my reflexes were a bit too slow. An iron hand wrapped around my arm and yanked me upwards, dragging me up and out. I stumbled over my own legs and landed in a metal cage, where the frigid surface beneath my back made me hiss through my teeth.

"Get over here, you little waif," the guard snapped. Alex hissed in fury when the broad man took ahold of his hair and shoved him forward, right into the same cage I'd gracefully tumbled into seconds earlier.

"You're a lucky son of a bitch," Alex snapped as the guard slammed the cage door shut. There were several other cells lined up in the long corridor, and from inside some of them, I could hear wailing; some were furious, others sullen, all made my heart break. I could do nothing for any of them, just as I couldn't do anything either for myself or for Alex, who sat bristling at my side. "Where are you taking us?" he asked, only to get met with a sneer from the skeevy looking guard who was wheeling us towards god knows where. My stomach sunk so low that, had I had anything in me, I'd have thrown it up. Alex didn't bother talking anymore, but the silence wasn't as comforting as I wished it would've been.

My eyes fluttered shut once or twice, longing for sleep. One of those times ended up being a little longer than I'd intended, because the next thing I knew, the cage was jerking to a halt, making Alex crash into me. I winced at the impact, but hey, at least I was good for keeping him from crashing into the bars. I turned towards the guard, already with my heart in my throat and prepared for a fight. Only the worst conclusions came to my mind when the guard had brought us into this room alone. To see that the guard was walking away from the cage and leaving us alone left me with a bittersweet mix of comfort and suspicion. Before he could come back, I reached out for the door of the cage and wrapped my hands around the bars to give it a vicious shake, but it did little else than rattle the metal. Fuck, what was with everything being so indestructible around here, there had to be something that would give!

"Amaya," Alex nudged into my heaving side, "I think someone's coming." I stopped my tantrum for long enough to glance towards where my brother was looking. There was a polished wooden door, the only other entry aside from where the guard had wheeled us in. "They sound light," Alex mentioned, his ears twitching as he tried to deduce the sound. I narrowed my eyes, listening to the approaching footsteps as they neared the door. Light or not, that didn't mean anything to me. I'd seen people that were slight and willowy take out men the size of boulders. The doorknob to the room twisted, opening the door with a reluctant click.

I don't know what I was expecting, but two young, run-down looking women didn't meet those expectations. One was a bony, brunette woman who looked as if she had not slept in several moons. Her friend was plumper, filled in the places that made auction-goers clamber for a bid, with stringy blonde hair. Neither of them looked like they'd stay upright if a strong wind blew past, they looked so jittery. "Good evening," the brunette bowed her head, "you may call me Kei, and this is Jasmine. We…we are here to assist you."

I was too shocked by the sight to gather my wits, but Alex was not so sluggish to recover. "Where are we?" he asked, leaning closer to the bars, "what are they going to do with us?"

He sounded so worried, on the verge of losing the composure he'd clung to all night. I placed a hand on his back, even knowing it'd bring no solace. The brunette jumped and her friend grimaced, as if the words pained her. "Please," Alex whispered, pleading for answers that I wasn't even sure the poor girls had.

"This is a very popular compound, sir," Kei stuttered out, "it is well-known for good sales, some of the richest and noblest of people attend." She started to tug at the ends of her hair, and I winced to see her rip some strands out. "I'm sorry," Kei finished. The look she shared with her friend would've been impossible to miss.

I sat up on my knees, a fresh pulse of anger renewing my energy. How long would we have? Auctions with big reputations took pride in their work. They kept new slaves for several days, training them and preparing them before selling them, lest they run the risk of dissatisfaction. Auctioneers with that reputation were not so careless. "Why did he bring us in here?" I called, noticing the way the blonde lowered her head.

Without another word, the brunette hurried forward, her shoes clicking against the hard floor. I recoiled when she reached the cage and, with practiced fingers, unlocked it and pried the door open. "I'm sorry, my lady," she bowed her head to me, her face crumpled like that of someone truly apologetic. "We have to hurry, we have to get you both prepared for your new masters."

It didn't sink in at first. For one, blissful second, my entire world fell still; no movement, no sound, and no thoughts. My brain had rejected the information so harshly that it didn't register with me until my brother's hand shot and snatched my arm, his nails digging into my skin. When I glanced at him, he'd gone ashen. After that, the words sunk into my brain, and it hurt something fierce. "What did you say?" I asked, my voice a raspy whisper. Steadily, it rose into a vilified crescendo. "You said this was an auction! How could we—who could've…" My words started to jumble together like a baggy filled with mismatched scrabble pieces. The blonde kept her head lowered, but the brunette was more forward. Kei reached her hand for mine, implying I take it.

I'm ashamed to say I shoved her hand away. I'd rather stumble out of the damned thing myself than take help from anyone in that place, whether they were there by choice or by tragic circumstance. She flinched at my aggressive gesture, and a part of me wilted with pity. The poor girl, what had they done to her? Would I turn into her, flinching and unable to talk without stuttering every other time I opened my mouth?

Was that the road I was about to get dragged down?

"This is a unique selling house, it's open for p–private looking to certain buyers," she cut her eyes to the side, refusing to look me in the eye. She couldn't even look me in the eye. "There was a private showing earlier, one of the auctioneers led a couple of young masters through the house. They were looking to buy personal slaves, my lady, th–they happened upon your cell while it was open. Neither of you were awake yet, that's why it was open. I'm…I'm sorry," she whispered the apology so softly that I almost missed it, were I not hanging on her every word. My mind was reeling, aching, I felt like I was a tiny child lost somewhere, somewhere I would never find my way out of.

Personal slaves.

Pets. She wouldn't say it aloud, because people hated how it sounded, but it was the truth. Pets were for any personal service. They were considered different than slaves, that was why so many called them pets, or personal companions. They were kept closer to their master, at hand for whenever their master needed them, and for whatever that might be. Pets had a purpose more for entertainment, where slaves were more for work, but pets could often get bought for both services.

"After reading our available files, although hardly much, they chose the both of you. The auction master is finishing the paper work, we must get you ready."

"Who is it?" Alex asked, and I turned to face him for the first time since the news had slapped me in the face. The blonde woman was helping him out of the cage, her hand clasped in his as she steadied him. She never once spoke to answer him. Kei rested a hand on my back, then, startling me. When she started pushing me towards the door, my body could do nothing but walk in heavy, autopilot steps. What was I going to do? Lash out at this woman and hope she had the key to escape on her? I couldn't hurt the poor thing. She was just as much a victim as me.

The women led us out the door and into a hallway. There were a few doors that we passed, until she came to a stop in front of one that smelled of soap and citrus. I turned over my shoulder to watch as the silent, stone-faced blonde took my brother to a separate room. "Hurt him and it will be the last thing you do," I growled, mustering the last of my anger. Jasmine turned a bleak expression towards me, and the thought struck me that, maybe, she would be grateful.

The room was humid and sticky, with a bath centered in the middle. I'm ashamed to say that the sight of the bath filled me with longing, it'd been so long since I'd last bathed in warm water, I couldn't resist the seduction of a bath. The woman rolled the sleeves of her dress up and dipped her hands into the water, stirring a pinkish soap into it. I knelt beside her and gripped her arm as gently as I could manage, bringing her to snap her head towards me. "I demand to know," I murmured, "I deserve to know, who was it? Can you give me a name?" If I could have any warning, any idea of what I was getting tossed into so callously, I would beg for it. Who had bought me, purchased me out of a cage as if I weren't a person, but an animal?

A violent tremble jolted through Kei, forcing me to let go of her. She recoiled as if I'd burned her. She shook her head, fear and pity both welling in her eyes in the form of glistening tears. "Please," I pleaded, resting my hand on her knee. This wasn't a woman commanding a slave, this wasn't me trying to frighten her. This was an act of unity. I needed her, if only for this one thing. With a deep, shuddering breath, the woman relinquished what I wanted. I would've wished she'd take it back.

"Uchiha Sasuke, my lady."

I yanked my hand back and stumbled back, falling right on my ass. To her credit, Kei didn't try and approach me again, she stayed right where she was, eyes downcast to the steaming bathwater. I stared at her in disbelief, unable to comprehend the weight of what was happening. "That's impossible," I whispered, beginning to shake my head in denial. No, she was wrong, she had to be wrong, it must've been some sort of mistake. "What—he wouldn't have any need for it, he has to have people at his beck and call every minute, you have to be wrong!" I needed her to be wrong.

"I'm afraid I don't know anything beyond what I've told you," she glanced at me, and I knew she meant well, but the pity in her eyes made me want to scream. I didn't want pity, I didn't even want empathy, I wanted answers.

"There's no reason a noble would pick two scruffy kids fresh off the streets for a personal servant." I didn't know who I was trying to convince, Kei or myself, but neither of us seemed to believe it, anyway.

"He didn't choose both of you," she cut in, speaking so highly in anxiety that she almost sounded like she was squeaking.

"What?" I sat up, needing to grip the edge of the tub in order to stay balanced upright. "No, I won't allow anyone to separate us!" I couldn't bear that thought, not in a million years. Alex was all I had left. "You said we were both—"

"I did," she broke in, standing swiftly, "he came with his brother, the eldest Uchiha boy is who bought your brother."

My throat swelled shut, and words no longer came forth. Air didn't either, but the burning in my lungs got overshadowed by the feeling of my blood freezing into gelid ice. I sunk so deep into myself that I didn't bother to fight the woman as she started to unbutton my dingy, scrappy shirt, and I hardly heard her stressed pleas for me to allow her to get me ready. Ready.  _Ready._

_I wasn't ready._

They were going to kill us. The Uchiha family were the most powerful noble family in the country, aristocratic and one of the few pure-blooded vampire clans. They controlled these cities, ruled the night with an iron fist. I'd heard talk from other, older people in the streets and camps that my brother and I had grown up in over the past few years. People who reviled the Uchiha, who feared them, and who respected them. Vampires often sought pets to use for blood slaves, or for other malicious terms of abuse. I had met one or two—none were noble, all were homeless, like I was. Malefactors who sneered down their noses at me.

Vampires were a superior race; the strongest, the fastest, the most agile, they were elite warriors and that made them the best allies. Most hailed from royal blood. Ibrida, people like me, Alex, and our parents, we were among the lowest. We were looked down on as dirty, unintelligent, people thought we were nothing but animals. Vampires and ibrida didn't mix. Men like the Uchiha brothers sought after elite slaves, high-priced and trained into perfection. Slaves like the ethereal harpies, or seductive sirens with their magics capped, but still every bit as capable of casting their spells of captivation.

People like Alex and me? We weren't made for that. We weren't made for a life like that. We were both too bellicose, too hardened, too full of enmity; sitting pretty wasn't in our blood. People like us were useful for few things, and of those things, none of them were good. They were going to kill us. And if they didn't? Well, we'd probably wish that they had.

The bathwater burned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve finally reached the OC stories to rewrite, wow, such cringe, much embarrassment, pls no.
> 
> I wrote this story in 2012, back when I was fourteen and…problematic. I aged up the characters from fourteen and sixteen to seventeen and eighteen, respectively. Sixteen is the age of consent where I’m from, so seventeen doesn’t squick me, but if it does you, I suggest you don’t read this for your own comfort. :)
> 
> I understand most people have an aversion to OC stories, especially involving romance. I’ve been there and done that when I first started writing them years ago. I’ve lost my shame and hesitance towards it, though, because honestly, they’re fun? Like?
> 
> Amaya is my OC, there’s art of her on my profile.
> 
> Alex is my best friend’s OC, his profile is Sasuke Neko.
> 
> Warnings include: Rape in a later chapter that is not graphic, but the content can still be triggering; violence and content about general slavery/trafficking; this story will be told from three different points of view but the main narrator will be Amaya.


	2. Chapter 2

The bath scrubbed away layers of dirt and grime, and perhaps the first few layers of my flesh, but it didn't wash away my terror, nor did it warm my still-frozen blood. My heart was nothing but a block of heavy, painful ice in my chest now, and with each inhale, I felt a sharp stab. There were too many scents in the washroom; from citrusy shampoos to floral soaps, my nose twitched on the constant verge of a sneeze. My skin felt too clean, too soft, and the clean clothes were almost uncomfortable against it. I wasn't dressed in anything too florid; a long black tank top and pair of burgundy shorts. I could almost convince myself I was heading outside, back onto the streets to vanish into a crowd. I may catch my death of hypothermia, but at least I would look pretty on the sidewalk.

I winced as a heavy hairbrush passed through my hair again, catching on another snag and tugging it out. Kei murmured another apology, but they were blank, now. The woman was quick and precise in her work, all I could do was follow where she directed me. By the time she was through, I didn't recognize myself, nor was I ready to leave the sanctuary of the washroom, despite how nauseated all the soaps and other sudsy things were making me. The closest I'd ever come to staying clean was the occasional dip in a lazy cobalt lake, or a rushing river that was too cold to stay in long. Was this how things were going to be, now? Kept scrubbed clean and fresh? Or would it be the opposite, trapped in a dank room like a disparaged prisoner and caked in grime and my own filth?

I was losing the last vestiges of my hope, and my disconsolate thoughts were showing it. I was finding it too difficult to scrounge up some optimism, every time I thought of their name, it vanquished. The Uchiha were highly regarded and widely renowned, but they had their fair share of enemies that always came with the price of power and riches. The infamous name had touched the lips of everyone this side of the border. They owned a wide branch of businesses and they had people in every corner, from law enforcement to sending spies out on the streets. Few were brazen enough to oppose any Uchiha, out of sheer terror.

As all pure-blooded vampire clans did, the Uchiha were the possessors of an elite physical ability. I knew the name, but I wasn't sure what it was capable of. Every time someone started to speak of it, one of the older people would castigate them and warn to never bring it up again. Now, whenever I heard the name, it was when someone was whispering.  _"The Sharingan."_

Had it been an arbitrary lackey from the Uchiha clan to stumble upon me, I might've had a weak chance. Those meek survival chances were gone the moment I'd heard his name. Sasuke's name was far from unknown; it was infamous, whispered off trembling lips or from a cold, admiring smirk from those who revered him. Itachi and Sasuke were the children of the clan head. Stories of their strength and skill spread far. Deadly, merciless, and trained into ruthless elites. I had never thought much of it. I thought I was too far below the reach of a noble, someone who would never waste their time with the riff-raff in the streets. But, despite class, everyone knew the Uchiha brothers' names. If tales were to go by, I could very well be dead by this time tomorrow.

"All done, my lady," Kei's voice snapped me from my dismal reveries, and I started at the compliment. I hadn't realized she'd set the brush down, and now her slim fingers were carding through my hair, not hitting a single tangle. I kept it cut short, trimmed to just around my chin and the back of my neck, but it could still become a monster of tangles despite my best efforts. I'm not sure my hair had ever looked so tame. "I'm afraid it's time we leave to meet with your brother. Come," she held out her hand as I stood from the chair she'd had me sitting in. I accepted the small comfort, and gave her hand a little squeeze while we walked down the hallway. It was all I could take and it was all she could offer. The drafty, chilly air made goosebumps rise on my arms and legs, and I found I missed my old, torn jacket.

We reached the door that Jasmine had disappeared through with Alex earlier, and Kei knocked with four short taps of her knuckles before she entered, tugging me behind her. Jasmine looked over her shoulder at the two of us before hurrying to step out of the way. Alex was sitting in a chair before a vanity, looking sullen, but some of the light returned to his eyes when he caught sight of me. He launched from the chair and darted around it towards me, and I noticed that Jasmine had dressed him in an…interesting way. I had expected something sharp, sleek—but, like me, Alex was wearing clothes that made it look like we were ready to return home, if home had existed. For a change, we looked like two teenagers instead of two scraggly animals living in squalor.

I tugged at the hoodie Alex had on, envious both of that and the jeans he was wearing. "You look good," I murmured, a proud smile on my lips. His hair had grown out a little over the years, only enough to get in his eyes a little. I brushed it out of the way, the strands sliding through my fingertips like silk. His hair was so dark that most would think it to be black at first glance, but in the sunlight, you could see the deep violet gleam. A knife of nostalgia spiked through my chest, then, and it struck me how much he resembled our father, all dark, handsome looks. My brother had grown up right before my eyes.

Now, I had to hand him to someone else.

I threw my arms around Alex and crushed him close, hiding my face against his shoulder. I wanted to apologize again, but I couldn't talk around the lump in my throat. How was I going to convince him it was going to be okay when I couldn't convince myself? Every time I struggled to remind myself that no sane person would waste that big a sum of money on someone just to kill them, my mind crept back to the badlands. Back to the horror stories about what masters did to their slaves, to personal pets; reading about the abuse, the cruelty, the violation—

These were people who could afford to buy a person, kill them, and buy ten more to do it all over again. I knew what monsters like that did to people like us. We were expendable, we were toys.

"Do you really think we're going to be okay?" Alex whispered, his face hidden in my hair. He sounded so small, and I didn't trust myself to have the right words that would alleviate his fear.

I took a deep breath and pulled back, cupping his face in my hands. "You said it yourself," I told him, "we've made it through hell and back, we can make it through this." I leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead, savoring the brief moments we had left. "Itachi is a powerful man with countless responsibilities, a man like that has a lot on his shoulders. You may hardly see him."

I knew that was an overly hopeful prediction, but I'd grown up using logic as a weapon against anxiety. However, I'd also listened to the rumors of his brutal skill, unmatched by hardly anyone. I was familiar with the whispers about his cold ruthlessness, but Itachi was the first born and the next head of the Uchiha family. That was a lot to overtake and live up to. Surely a man of that caliber had a plethora of important work to see to, he wouldn't have time to waste on a teenager. Surely.

Alex's lips curled into a frown of disbelief. "If only we would be so lucky, the spoiled fucks would leave us alone. If Sasuke even touches you—"

"We will  _both_  be fine," I cut in, putting an end to a tirade before it began. I didn't want my brother worrying about me, I needed him to keep his head and focus on himself. He would need it to make it out of this. "I can handle everything thrown at me, and I know you can, too. I promise."

I hoped I wasn't a liar.

I relished in the few minutes I had with Alex, doing nothing but holding one another and soaking in the last moments of comfort we could get. I wasn't sure how often we would be allowed to see one another once they took us away. Deep down, I was afraid I'd never see Alex again, but my subconscious wouldn't allow that fear to bloom into a full thought. It would be the thing that broke me.

When Jasmine approached us and tapped Alex on the shoulder, our bubble of peace broke and shards of reality rained atop my head like glass. She, too, looked as solemn as I felt. With her hands, she pointed her index fingers at the both of us, and then pointed them to her shoulders before she turned and started for the door. I hadn't understood the gesture, though my brother had and he began to follow her. I hurried to follow behind him and, once close enough, I leaned near him. "Can she not speak?" I asked.

He shook his head. "They cut out her tongue."

Disgust curled in my stomach like a ball of snakes writhing, leaving me feeling faint. I asked no more questions, and the walk through the winding corridors was silent from then on. It wasn't until we turned the last corner and we came upon a daunting set of double doors that any of us spoke again. From behind us, Kei cleared her throat. "Don't speak unless they address you. I wish you luck." She touched first my shoulder, then Alex's, and then proceeded forward and joined her friend at the doors. I felt Alex's clammy hand slip into my own and clasp it, frightened yet strong. All I could do was squeeze back. With a dreadful, resounding creak, the two women pulled the doors open.

"Young masters, I present your purchases to you."

* * *

I felt sick, only instead of anything in my stomach, I was going to throw up my heart.

Inside the room past the double doors (of which I wished had stayed shut forever), there sat two men who both turned towards us. I felt glued in place, and I was content to stay there, if not for Kei nudging me forward. Immediately after stepping inside the room, the temperature sank a few degrees. My gaze landed on the man closest to the doors, where he sat straight and with his hands folded in his lap. He had his long, dark hair tied back from his face, where his expression was set into something neutral. As annoyed as I felt at the thought of anyone being capable of indifference in this, it was better than malevolence. He had to have been Itachi, he looked the eldest. His eyes were not the frightening blood-red I'd anticipated, but rather a deep, warm black. They shifted from me and towards Alex, and with a subtle cock of his head, Itachi stood from his seat. I stiffened as he straightened and approached us, the way he walked reminded me of the kings and queens I used to read about in fairy-tales as a little girl. A regal, self-assured stride, as if hundreds of eyes were watching yet he noticed none of them.

My gaze snapped from Itachi and to the other young man, still seated, when I heard him move and uncross his legs. His appearance caught me off guard for a moment. His face was softer than Itachi's, younger, but when he raised his eyes and caught mine, it almost made me choke. A violent shudder wracked through my body, the cold intensity of the young man's eyes was utterly inhuman. In the second between him catching my gaze and me trying not to vomit on the floor, I watched his eyes narrow with obvious disapproval. Warning bells began to ring in my head; a mistake, I'd already made a mistake. Even dirty orphans knew that slaves were not to look their masters in the eye.

I raised my chin and steeled myself to hold his impenetrable gaze. If it was the last thing I did, I wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction of knowing they frightened me. A muscle in the young man's jaw tensed, a small reaction, but it offered me some semblance of satisfaction. Out of the corner of my eye, a shadow crept into my vision, and I broke my focus to find Itachi only a few steps away. He had a good few inches on both Alex and I, and for someone of that stature, he moved without hardly a sound. My first instinct was to put my arm out in front of Alex, as if that would do any good at all, but it was all a big sister could do. Is there anything you wouldn't do to protect your siblings?

From behind Itachi, Sasuke stood, his expression set into a scowl that made my hackles rise. Fight or flight was trying to override my manual senses, and although my blood was finally thawing, it was only because of the adrenaline scorching through my veins. In those three seconds, I had already planned a way to put myself between my brother and these two men. I prayed that they killed me first, and that Alex would have long enough to figure a way out, if the sight of my death did not traumatize him.

If not for Itachi raising his hand, palms outward, maybe that's what would have played out. "Relax," he spoke in a low, modulated voice that made the tension in my muscles melt enough that I wasn't wound like a bowstring. "I have no intention of hurting him." Itachi's eyes passed from me towards Alex, leaving me to bristle with nothing but the words of a stranger to ensure my brother's safety. I wasn't comforted. "Please follow me, I'm sure you're both eager to leave this place," Itachi held an arm out, gesturing that Alex walk forward.

I shared a look with Alex, our fingers unlacing and falling away from each other as he took a reluctant step ahead. It was the weakest I'd ever felt in my life, with no way to save my brother, no way to protect him from this crushing burden. I stood rigid, watching as Alex walked ahead of Itachi, and away from me. Itachi never put his hands on Alex, but his distance did little to soothe my trembling muscles that all ached to do something, anything. My parents, if they could see me from wherever they lay in the afterlife, would be sick with disappointment in me.

As if he could sense my distress, Itachi glanced over his shoulder towards me. He gave me a single nod, but he was gone so quick that I couldn't be sure if I'd only imagined it. It reminded me of an act of solidarity—a silent promise in that one action. I wanted fervently to believe in that. With the two of them gone, I found that the chill in the room returned to dig its way into my skin. I'd had a barrier between myself and Sasuke, but now with that gone, I had to face the brunt on my own with nothing but my bare hands and teeth. They weren't all that intimidating on their own.

Speaking of the devil, I heard a brisk sigh and turned my attention back to Sasuke, who'd turned to glance after our respective siblings. I couldn't help the ire that boiled over. "What is it, are you already bored?" I asked in a clipped tone.

His eyes cut to the corners to look at me, as if to scrutinize me before he decided to waste his energy to turn and face me. I lifted my head in an air of defiance, as apathetic as I could make myself in the face of that inexorable gaze. In that second, I garnered a large bout of understanding for prey animals who froze in the face of a predator. His glance traveled across me, gauging, before he reached my face again. I regretted my decision to look him in the eyes; now if I didn't, it would be like giving up. His lips pulled into a small sneer once he appeared done with his appraisal. "I don't tolerate disrespect, girl," he said. "I suggest you get that through your thick skull before you make a mistake you regret." His voice was so quiet that it was terrifying how it seemed to fill the entire room. Fresh goosebumps covered my skin for the second time that night, but they were not from cold.

I felt my lips twisting into a sneer of my own. "I have a name—can't you read? I'm sure they put it on one of those files." I hadn't yet decided if I wanted to die, or if I had merely reached the end of my rope. How could anyone look so callously at slavery, and have the gall to act so arrogant that they wouldn't even use your name? I couldn't stomach that, my pride wouldn't allow it. My pride was a tad suicidal at the best of times.

Those were the right (or wrong, rather) words to get a reaction from Sasuke. His sneer dropped into a scowl and he started towards me. He did not move with the same regality of his brother. He moved like a carnivore, something powerful and invincible and who knew it. It took every bit of my willpower to not step backwards when he came up on me, almost toe to toe. My head tipped back to look at him, and for a moment, I wondered if those poor slave women would have to clean up my dead body.

"I will call you whatever I wish," he hissed, the hostile sound made me pin my ears down against my hair, where they disappeared against the same reddish hue. "You're nothing but a slave, don't forget that."

Well, I was trying, but he was making it kind of hard, you know? I swallowed the thick lump in my throat. "I'd rather have that title than a spoiled princess," I grit out, unable to find where the line was before I'd gone too far. A coarse growl rose from Sasuke's chest and my eyes widened at the furious, dangerous sound. In the blink of an eye, his hand shot out and clamped around my wrist. I gasped in shock and some pain, but that was all I had time to do. He turned on his heel and dragged me behind him, leaving me no choice but to stumble along. I doubted he'd stop if I did fall, and the thought of Sasuke ripping my arm off wasn't' all that appealing. His hand was like steel around my wrist, just as cold and twice as strong. If I didn't have a bruise around my wrist by the time he let go, it would be a miracle.

Sasuke didn't slow down even when we got outside the building. I felt disappointed that the air outside was no warmer than the air inside, but at least it was fresh and didn't reek of sweat and hopelessness. By the time Sasuke reached the car, my teeth were chattering from the winds outside. I wasn't dressed for the wintry night weather. Without another word to me, Sasuke wrenched the back door of the car open and yanked his arm forward, tossing me inside. I cried out when I landed, having banged a lot of parts of myself on my way in. I couldn't tell what was aching by the time I was sure I wasn't going to collide into anything else. The car door shut after me and I drew my legs close to protect them from any further bruising.

I cradled my wrist to my chest while using my free hand to push myself up into the seat. A hand touched my shoulder, then, and I flinched back with a startled gasp.

"It's me! It's just me," Alex scrambled to reassure me. I looked up to see him pressed up against the opposite door, I bet it was all he could do to avoid me when I came crashing into the car. Sorry for that rough landing. "What the hell happened? Are you hurt? Let me see," Alex reached for my wrist, but I leaned away, denying his assistance.

"It isn't anything serious," I sighed, righting myself to sit in a somewhat comfortable position. I felt like I had gotten hit by a train. Then, after that, God's vengeful hand had come punching through the heavens and drove me into the ground. It might've been a graceless way to say it, but I wasn't feeling all that graceful. Neither of us had recovered from earlier in the day, any further injuries weren't welcome. Granted, had I kept my mouth shut... No. That wasn't my fault, nothing of what happened to us was our fault. I had to remember that. I wouldn't absolve blame.

I got a good look around myself, then. A sheet of black glass separated the back seat from the front seats of the car. I couldn't hear or see anything from the front, so I could assume that Alex and I were safe from eavesdropping as well. "He won't even call me by name," I muttered under my breath, bitterness powdering my tone.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alex wrap his arms around himself. "Maybe if we don't fight, they won't do anything to us," he suggested, glancing at me with nervous uncertainty.

I turned my face away from Alex so he wouldn't see my sneer. If I didn't fight, I'd have nothing left. Fighting was all I knew how to do, all we'd ever done. "Maybe. You're quiet enough for Itachi to forget you're even there," I said. It garnered a weak laugh from him, so it was worth it.

I leaned my head on the window and stared up into the night sky. At some point, I switched that black canvas for that of the backs of my eyelids, because sometime later I was getting jarred into consciousness by the car stopping. Bolting upright, I dug my nails into the interior of the seat, my bearings still ricocheting in my head in a mismatch that I couldn't yet make sense of.

Alex rested a hand over mine and muttered a reassurance. "The car's stopping, we must be there." Alex ducked his head to try and see out of the window. I wasn't as curious. Well, mostly not as curious. I leaned my head down to Alex's shoulder to get a peek, too. Outside, a few glimmering light posts lit up the pathway to a looming mansion. Alex's tail flicked back and forth like a sleek whip, his eyes gleaming as he drank it all in. "I could get lost in a place like this, it's like a castle," he murmured. I winced at the charm in his tone, too unwilling to break it to bring up any misgivings.

I didn't share my brother's enchantment, but I couldn't fault him for it, either. The only buildings I'd ever seen that were half the size of this place were apartment buildings, and they couldn't hold a candle to this place's beauty. While we were busy getting lost in it, the door pulled open, startling us both. I recoiled from the burst of wind. From outside, I heard a soft murmur that I couldn't decipher. Whatever the words were, they coaxed Alex out of the car. He climbed out beside Itachi and I watched him shuffle behind the older man towards the mansion, his arms still wrapped around himself. A shadow blocked the light into the car then, and I leaned away from the open door. You know, the car was a nice place, it'd be all right to live in—

I heard Sasuke's impatient sigh, the only warning I received before he reached into the car to take my arm again and pull me out of it. "I'm about sick of you yanking me around everywhere," I snapped with a wince.

"If you wouldn't act difficult, perhaps I wouldn't have to," Sasuke hissed back. Well, by then, I was ready to quit acting difficult, but Sasuke continued to haul me up to the front door, where Itachi stood waiting on us.

"Try not to break her, Sasuke." Itachi spared a glance towards Sasuke as he unlocked the door. The warning succeeded in little else than to annoy Sasuke, who snorted under his breath. That front door opening was the most beautiful sound in the world to me, as ecstatic as I was to escape the chill outside. Alex uttered a quiet sound of awe the further we got inside, his eyes wide and entranced as he looked around at the grand staircases and royal colors. Dark blues and shining golds, marble tile, and heavy drapery with careful embroidery stitched into it decorated the interior of the mansion. The corridor continued straight, to a pair of double doors, while on both the left and right sides there were two staircases that led up. The embroidered symbols, white and red, looked like an insignia of sorts. Even Sasuke still grasping my arm, like he really thought I could somehow make a run for it, didn't dampen my admiration. Never had I set foot in a place so…so stunning.

"It's beautiful," Alex murmured. Itachi paused and glanced towards him, and for just a moment, I thought I saw his eyes soften.

"Come with me, Alex. Your new quarters are upstairs," Itachi nodded his head towards the staircase on the right and began to ascend. It was obvious he had more faith in Alex than Sasuke had in me. Or, at least, Itachi wasn't half as impatient and quick to anger. That was enough for me to breathe easier, if only by a shred.

Alex lingered for a spell, looking like he was debating for a split-second what he should do before he came to his decision. He approached me first, his ears flattening down when he glanced behind me at where Sasuke stood. "I love you," Alex murmured.

I leaned up and pressed my forehead to his. "I love you too," I whispered, "stay safe." After our goodbyes, he broke away from me and trotted up the stairs, where I was surprised to find Itachi had paused to allow Alex that moment between us. I looked after them even when they'd disappeared around the corner. In all honesty, I subscribed to no religious beliefs, but I hoped my prayers would get heard by something, all the same.  _Please, keep my brother safe._  In the long run, I should've kept some of those prayers for myself.

A harsh shove sent me stumbling to the side, towards the staircase to the left. I had to catch myself on the railing. "Hurry up," Sasuke ordered when I turned a cold look on him. His impatience was enough incentive for me to get my footing sorted and start moving. The whole "getting dragged up the staircase" thing sounded like it'd be a good time and all, but I'd still rather avoid it.

"It wouldn't kill you to be a little gentler," I snapped over my shoulder. I caught the beginning of a smirk as it spread over Sasuke's face before I turned around, but it was enough to send a chill down my back and make me shut my mouth. At the top of the stairs, the hall was too dark to make much out. Sasuke's hand on my shoulder was likely all that kept me from smacking into anything down the hallway. When he reached the first door on the right, he reached for the knob and pushed it open. I slinked inside the room before he had to tell me, and he followed, clicking the door shut behind him. For about two seconds, the room was pitch black, and I worried it was going to turn out to be a dungeon of some sort, after all. Before I could spiral down that panic road, Sasuke flipped a switch and bathed the room in light.

I cringed when the suddenness seared my eyeballs, but after blinking away the spots in my vision, my eyes widened with surprise. It was a bedroom, bigger than any I'd ever had the luxury to set foot in. It was largely barren, aside from the bed, a desk and chair, and a bookcase that took up most of the right wall. If I were ever so privileged, I would have decorated every corner of a bedroom this size. On the left wall there was another door, one that I assumed led to a bathroom. I must've spent too long shell-shocked, because soon, I heard a chuckle from behind me. "Haven't you ever seen a bedroom, dog? Or have you spent your whole life in an alleyway?"

I started to roll my eyes before registering exactly what I'd heard. "What the hell did you call me?" I turned on Sasuke with a hateful snarl, where he was still standing near the door. He didn't even flinch in the wake of rage. He hardly cocked a brow.

"What's the matter, are you deaf,  _dog_?" he repeated the ugly word and something in me snapped. I hated the word, I hated the smug smirk on his spoiled mouth, and I hated my awful situation.

"I can't believe you," I growled, my teeth bared in a feral warning, "I have a name, and you damn well know what it is, so start using it!" I felt like I was a child throwing a tantrum, but I wouldn't let myself accept his condescension. I deserved at least keeping my name, if this–this  _monster_  was going to take away everything else, he could at least allow me to keep the last thing that was mine.

There was one thing I forgot—a vampire was fast, faster than any other race. Unfortunately, Sasuke was more than happy to remind me. I'd hardly blinked before he was in front of me, I hadn't seen him move an inch. I almost swallowed my own tongue in the initial shock. "Listen to me," Sasuke lowered his voice, scowling down at me with enough ice in his eyes to freeze me solid. I don't know if yelling could have ever been more frightening than that quiet voice, so cold and angry. "I don't have time to waste on stupid, disrespectful servants. I own you now, like the animal you are, get that through your head." He straightened up when he finished seething the words into my face. A bitter cocktail bubbled inside me; rage, disgust, humiliation, all ingredients for stupid decisions.

I slammed my palm against Sasuke's chest and put all my strength into shoving him. It was a shamefully wasted effort. He didn't budge an inch, the only reaction I got for my trouble was a surprised grunt. "Fuck you!" I shouted, "you can't treat me like this, like I'm nothing!" My eyes were starting to sting in my rage. All my turmoil that had built up since first getting captured (was that today? Yesterday? I couldn't even remember) was boiling over, now. I had nowhere to empty it except at Sasuke, and he was one of the worst options I could have had, and he couldn't care less about how I felt.

Sasuke slapped my hand away with all the ease of batting off a moth. "I'll treat you however I like, you mutt," Sasuke's voice was taking on an edge, his posture rigid as he narrowed his eyes down at me. He was losing his temper, I could see it, but I couldn't stop myself in time.

My lungs filled with air and fire, and I screamed, "my name is Amaya, you bastard!"

A palm cracked across my face like a hot iron. The hit was so powerful that the force knocked me to the ground and left me dazed, almost breathless from the pain. Hot tears welled in my eyes at the shocking flare of hurt that lit up the cheek I was now cradling, but I grit them back, always too stubborn. Sasuke towered over me, the hand he'd struck me with now clenched in a fist, and his stance still tense. Despite the pain in my cheek, I could see how much restraint he'd used in the strike—he was holding back. I never wanted to find out what it might feel like for him to use his full strength. I didn't dare to get up.

"I warned you twice. Don't try me again." After that warning, Sasuke turned away from me and headed for the door, but before he walked out, he turned to look at me over his shoulder. I steeled myself, jaw clenched tight, his eyes were hard as stone as he looked into mine. You'll sleep on the floor. Don't touch anything, am I clear?"

I nodded my head, unable to get find my voice. When Sasuke left, he slammed the door shut behind him, and I flinched at the booming sound. Several silent seconds passed until I moved, that slap had made every other ache in my body rise full force. I looked towards the window, where the glow of a full moon filtered in, and moved towards it. I had to use the edge of the window-seat to pull myself up enough to sit, where I drew my knees close. I was still trembling as I leaned my head against the glass and looked out towards the twinkling stars. They were polite enough to pretend the tear slipping down my cheek wasn't there. I sat there for god knows how long, repeating to myself over and over; I've dealt with worse, I can deal with this. I can make it through this.

The more I told myself that, the less I believed it.

* * *

"Alex, do you have any wounds I need to be aware of?"

I rubbed my hand over my other arm, feeling awkward and out of place in such an elegant room. I'd been in apartments smaller than this entire bedroom. Well, that could be a bit of an exaggeration, but that was beyond the point. I felt like a very mismatched decoration in an otherwise spotless room. Itachi had the grace not to comment on my discomfort. In fact, he'd hardly spoken to me at all, thus the question caught me a little by surprise. I shook my head, "I'm fine," I told him. Too bad for me, one of the bigger bruises I'd sustained in the fight with the compound guard earlier chose that moment to throb, and I winced. A suspicious glint flashed in Itachi's eyes, but he didn't press the subject.

"I'll believe you," Itachi started, "but if you're going to stay healthy, you should let me know about any problems. It's my job to ensure your health." Itachi looked away from me and towards his desk again, where he was shuffling through a stack of papers. Still dazed, I stared at his back for several seconds before realizing I was doing it. Chagrined, I averted my eyes and rubbed at the bruise on my shoulder. I couldn't bring myself to ask Itachi where I should sit, or if I could sit anywhere at all. I was still reeling from how civil Itachi had behaved towards me. Not that it meant anything, Itachi could turn with a snap of my fingers, and I was waiting for it. His current affable attitude only made me even warier. I'd seen the way his brother had lost his temper with Amaya.

Rage pulsed in my veins when I thought of the way that asshole had snatched my sister's wrist. Here I was, without even hearing a harsh word from Itachi, but she was trapped with a man who was doing god knows what to her. I couldn't be there to protect her, and I knew she was going to lose her temper and piss off Itachi's brother even worse. It made my stomach turn thinking of her by herself, and about spending the night on my own. I couldn't even remember when we'd last gotten separated like this. Sure, we broke apart sometimes in order to find food or to make a quick buck, but it was never more than a few hours. But, an entire night, and I couldn't even know if she was safe?

I had gotten so deep in thought that I didn't notice Itachi was talking to me until he rested his hand on my shoulder. I jerked under the touch and snapped out of my daze, sucking in a startled gasp at the sudden contact. Itachi withdrew his hand the second I flinched. "I didn't mean to startle you," he offered a small smile to recompense. "I have business to attend to. You look exhausted, I suggest you try getting some sleep for a while."

Still reeling, it took me a moment to register his quick apology, and the surprise from that muted his suggestion a little. He nudged past me then, and for a second, I juggled between what I wanted to do. Where should I sleep? On the floor? "W–where should I…?" I asked, stuttering the question out before Itachi could leave, but unable to complete it.

Itachi looked back with a surprised expression, but it soon narrowed into a darker one that made me start to panic. Great, I'd asked a stupid question and pissed him off. How was I supposed to know that—

"I'm not going to treat you like an animal. You may sleep on the bed." Itachi paused in thought for a moment, as if finding the right words. "Feel free to ask for what you might need, as well. As I said, it's my responsibility, and you deserve that much."

With that, Itachi closed the door and left me stewing in confusion. The bed? Responsibility? I hadn't ever heard of someone referring to a slave as their responsibility. Toy? Yes. Burden? Sure. Itachi wasn't anything like what I had come to expect, after seeing how slaves got treated and hearing sickening stories from runaway slaves that I met while I was living off the streets. I wasn't sure what compartment I should place Itachi in, yet. I wasn't sure if he even had one.

What I was sure of, though, was how exhausted I was. I approached the bed and peeled a corner of the cover back. Curling up into the silk sheets was as close to euphoria as I'd ever come, and hell, I'd be thankful if this was the best taste I got of it. I tugged the blanket over myself and buried my face into the pillow, content with my little corner of heaven for as long as I could have it. I was still a little too high strung to fall asleep right away, but my thoughts wouldn't drift from the very things stressing me out.

Would Itachi turn out to be the monster that the rumors painted him to be? Was I sinking into a trap of some sort and setting myself up to get hurt? Or could he possibly be as peaceful as he appeared?

Sasuke certainly wasn't. He behaved nothing like Itachi, and he'd already demonstrated his capability for violence. I knew Amaya, and I knew she could take care of herself…I hoped she could take care of herself. I hoped I could take care of myself.

Slowly, my eyelids began to grow heavier, until they were so heavy with somnolence I couldn't pry them open again.

Was it childish to hope for good dreams?


	3. Chapter 3

_The blinding whiteness is back. I swear, I can feel it starting to seep inside of me, like it wants to scrub everything away until I'm nothing but blank, empty nothingness. I can't tell how long I stay in the ocean of stunning white, but eventually, I start hearing sounds leaking from it. First the sounds, and then color starts to follow; brown, red, black, all blobby and blurry. The sounds start out fuzzy and muffled. Like everything else here, it's all unclear and hazy aside from the startling clarity of the glowing whiteness. I try to focus my eyes on the colors out of terror that blank white will be the only thing I'll ever see again. That's when the sounds snap into frightening volumes._

" _Don't touch him! Get your hands off him, you monster!" I can hear a shrill voice saying. It sounds so familiar, too familiar—a little girl's voice. Her shouting is a terrible mix of snarling and shrieking, like that of an animal struggling and panicking in the throes of death. It wants to fight, but all it can do is wail. The girl continues her tirade, screaming threats and pleas in the midst of her awful, hair-raising snarls. I can make out only some of her words._

" _Stay away from him!"_

" _I won't let you hurt him!"_

_A sudden, sharp cracking sound interrupted the screaming. The silence clouded over me like a sticky, clinging syrup that left me wanting to scratch at my own arms to scrub it away. A few seconds in the crushing silence, and I heard a quieter noise. Sniffling? Was someone crying? I uncovered my eyes—when had I covered them, why was I holding my hands clapped over my face?—and looked forward, where the blobs of color had taken shape. They were no longer over-saturated paint stains on the canvas of white. A little girl lay sprawled out on the floor, her long red hair splattered around her head like a spreading pool of blood. A few feet away from the girl sat a boy, his eyes filled to the brim with tears until they began spilling down his hollow cheeks._

_The girl started to push herself up on her bony little arms. I watched them shake under her as she tried to support herself on them, looking so thin that I was ready to hear them snap at any second. She leaned up and lifted her head, staring straight into the face of one of the most frightening people I've ever seen in my life. At least, I think it was a person. It had a face and human enough body, but it had two extra sets of arms jutting out below the first pair. He looked but a few years older than the girl lying on the ground. The manic sneer on the boy's face was almost as grotesque as his extra limbs, sewn onto his body as if he were a doll someone wanted to modify. The girl's fists clenched on the ground and the older boy laughed down into her face._

_My eyes snapped to the side when the little boy cried out, reminding me he was still sitting in the corner, tiny and forgotten. "Don't! Don't do it!" he shouted, his voice so dry and cracked that the shouting sounded painful. "You're going to make him mad!"_

_Him? The other boy? He already looked angry enough. The redheaded girl didn't heed the warning, anyway. For all that she looked like a sack of bones, she found a power somewhere inside of her that launched her forward. Her hands clawed and lashed out at the crudely experimented-on boy. Blood sprayed from his face along with several curse words, and all six of his arms battered at the little girl until he got a grip and managed to throw her off. His extra limbs didn't move right; they had jerky, inflexible movements. I could taste bile in the back of my throat._

_Out of nowhere, a vicious shudder wracked my entire body, and I doubled over at the gripping chill. From the corner of my eye, a figure walked forward, passing right by me in slow, purposeful steps. My eyes glued to the black shoes as they squeaked across the sterile tile. My stomach wrenched inside of me, and I opened my mouth to scream at the horrible pain, but nothing left my mouth. No noise, not even a breath. The shoes stopped beside the girl's prone body, and I noticed the silence again. The little boy had stopped his crying. Slowly, my eyes lifted along the tall and thin frame of the owner of those squeaking black shoes. I didn't want to, I didn't want to see any more. Before my eyes reached the face, the figure spoke in distorted, broken-radio words._

" _You never learn, do you, girl?"_

* * *

I jerked awake, sucking in a gasp with all the greed of someone just escaping drowning. The claws of the nightmare were still curled around me, but as the minutes passed they began to relinquish their grip, along with any memory. I never remembered the nightmares after I woke from them, all I knew was that I had struggled with them for a few years, now, and nothing made them abate. At least I no longer woke up screaming in the middle of the night. That had been a little hard on Alex.

With a raspy groan, I sat up, and a loose fabric slid off and down into my lap. That was what had woken me up, I remember now. I'd felt it land on top of me. Confused, as it hadn't been there when I'd finally fallen asleep, I ran my fingers over the leather jacket. The interior was soft, warm fleece that felt heavenly against my freezing skin. Cutting into my musing, I heard a drawer snap shut. Startled, I dropped the jacket and looked up at the perpetrator of the noise. At the desk stood Sasuke, with his back turned to me and his head tilted down towards a pink sheet of paper. I'd never heard him come in, nor did I have any idea how long he'd been there. That thought unnerved me. I hated how quiet he was—someone needed to put a bell on him.

I stiffened when Sasuke turned to look over his shoulder, as if he could hear what I'd thought. "Cover up," he ordered, glancing down at the jacket where it covered my legs. "It gets cold here, and I didn't bring you here only to have you die."

I'm not sure how reassured I was by his words. Nonetheless, I wasn't going to turn down a good jacket, no matter who it belonged to. I was stubborn, not stupid. Usually. The thing was a bit long on me, but that was perfect for bundling up in. I must've looked something ridiculous, with how I'd curled up into it, if Sasuke's muffled snort was anything to go by. "Thanks for the concern," I grumbled, then proceeded to pretend that I'd missed the cold look Sasuke aimed at me. I'd fallen asleep in the window seat at some point, and by now the sun was starting to rise, casting a rosy glow. The clouds still drifting along in the sky looked like pink, fluffy puffs of cotton candy, and there were a few stars lingering, trying to outshine the sun. It was an enchanting viewpoint, way up here. I could almost forget the circumstances of why I was even able to see it.

Off to the side, I heard a frustrated sigh, cutting my admiration short. I turned my head towards Sasuke and watched him shuffle through a stack of papers, ruining their neatness by shoving several out of the way. He didn't appear to find what it was that he wanted, if the curse he mumbled under his breath was any sign. His shoulders tensed as he tightened his fingers on the edge of the desk, appearing to be contemplating. Even without him facing me, I could still feel the annoyance coiling in the air. He turned around after a moment and happened to catch me in the act of staring at him. I couldn't tear my gaze away fast enough, and I felt too much like a deer caught in headlights. He paused and narrowed his eyes at me, and I felt the headlights getting closer. "What?" he asked me, the question clipped and impatient.

I hadn't realized that staring had gotten outlawed. I opened my mouth to say as much, but the motion made my cheek throb, and last night's events came hurtling back to me vibrantly. I closed my mouth without uttering a word and diverted my gaze. From the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Sasuke's lips curve into a satisfied tilt. My fingertips twitched, lusting to wipe that arrogant smirk off his face. I was no longer sure which burned more; my cheek, or the petty insults I'd stopped on the edge of my tongue that ached to spew forward.

"You learn fast. Good, I don't want to waste too much time having to train you." Sasuke folded his arms and leaned his hip against the desk, apparently forgetting the papers he'd wanted to look for, much to my chagrin. I liked him better when he focused on anything other than me, then he didn't have time to try and pick me apart.

"You still have a lot to learn about decency yourself," I sneered. It was a shame I had to break his illusion of my being a fast learner, but the way his eyebrows shot up in surprise was worth everything in the world. The surprise wore off in a saddening amount of time, and he was scowling again, his eyebrows knitted together in annoyance. Every victory sees its end, and every chance I got to prove I wasn't a fucking animal, I was taking it.

"I doubt a mongrel like you has any concept of decency," Sasuke scoffed, unfolding his arms. For a moment, I worried my face was going to meet with his hand again—things weren't working out between them, probably best if they didn't—but Sasuke didn't head for me, he headed for the door. The relief I felt was shameful, even if I was the only one aware of it. "All that creatures like you understand is filth and violence." Sasuke shut the door behind him, and I heard an outside lock click, trapping me inside the bedroom. Granted, it was a plenty big space, but that wasn't the point. The point was getting caged up like a circus tiger. The point was someone thinking of me and treating me as a fucking pet that they could control.

"You have no room to talk about violence!" I shouted after him, even after the door shut. It was for good measure. About two seconds after quiet fell over the bedroom, my stomach rumbled. I suspected it would end poorly if I were to ask for food; begging would only cement his perception of a dog, and my pride would loathe me, anyway. I refused to have anyone seeing me that way. I was equally as much a person as Sasuke was.

A starving one, but a person all the same.

* * *

I heard the girl shouting after me when the door shut, one final act of rebellion in the face of getting ignored. It was the same as any other ill-behaved animal or child; when faced with a lack of attention, they only worked harder for a reaction. I exhaled a sharp sigh through my nose before convincing myself to walk away, I had other things to attend to that took priority. Standing around arguing with a waif wasn't among them. I hadn't wanted any of this to begin with, but with my father pressuring the decision, I'd ended up agreeing to visit the auctioning warehouse.

It was only to look, Itachi had told our father, but that wasn't what he wanted to hear, and we both knew he would be angry if we returned empty handed. As loathe as I was to taking any orders or  _suggestions_  from the old man, I hated dealing with his temper even more. It was Itachi who made the decision, in the first place. I'd hardly glanced into any of the cells that the overzealous, oily auctioneer was so eager to show off. The place was squalid, not fit for even the rats. The sight had left me with an uncomfortable bout of disgust. I couldn't imagine how Itachi felt, seeing the conditions. My brother despised slavery and slave compounds to their cores, but even he wasn't immune to our father's commands, no one was.

When Itachi had come to a pause outside one of the cells, I'd turned back to catch him looking inside of it. I'd tried to tell him this was a bad decision, we didn't need anything extra to worry about, but I was battling both my father's orders and Itachi's empathy, at that point. That was a battle already lost. I'd complied and gone to peer inside the filthy cell, myself. I hadn't anticipated how far that would go. There were two creatures inside, both unconscious. One male and one female, whose bright red hair almost had me believing she was bleeding out on the ground. In her mess of hair, I'd caught the sight of a twitching, pointed ear. I'd recoiled with a disdained curve on my mouth. "They're ibrida," I'd muttered at Itachi, who didn't appear the least bit bothered by the revelation. We had both been raised to believe ibrida were low class, dirty, and trouble makers.

"What does that matter?" Itachi had asked, "they aren't different from anyone else."

My brother's pacifistic nature was going to get us into trouble. I'd looked back to the girl, where she lay sprawled out beside the boy. Her hands clenched into fists and her face twisted into a grimace. Even in the dim light, it was a plain sight that both were in poor shape, all bruised and bloodied. From where I was watching her, it'd looked like she was having a bad dream. I still remember the sleazy grin on the auctioneer's face when he caught us stopped in front of the cell, he'd jumped at the opportunity to launch into telling us about the pair.

They were siblings, he'd said, caught just that morning before dawn. It had surprised me to hear the two were related, considering they looked almost nothing alike. The boy was seventeen, a Feles named Alex. Itachi had lifted his head when the auctioneer started to talk about the boy, and I'd grit my teeth. I knew there was no leaving after that. Once Itachi had his heart set on helping someone, there was no deterring him. After all the times he couldn't save someone, he refused to miss a chance when he could.

I'd left Itachi to talk about the ibrida slave, wishing to get the entire ordeal over with, but when the auctioneer handed my brother a file, he'd turned to me and held another one out. "Would you like to read about the girl?" he'd asked, sly grin on his mouth all the while. It was like he was trying to sell me a car, not a living creature. I had wanted to turn and leave right that instant, but Itachi happened to glance up at me at that moment, and I'd felt reminded of the monster waiting at home. How unhappy it would've been, were Itachi to have followed orders, and not me. It was always Itachi doing right, and never me. I'd glanced at the girl one more time, with her pained face and bad luck, and grit my teeth. That was how I ended up snatching the damned file to read it.

Amaya. That was her name. Bitterly, I smirked. Amaya and Alex, it was almost cute. She was eighteen—my age, and she wasn't even the same breed as her brother. She was a Lupus ibrida, a mutt. I skimmed through the file to find that there wasn't much on them. Itachi had questioned that, but the auctioneer didn't seem keen to talk about it. He'd said they'd spent a long time trying to hunt and capture these two, ever since they'd turned up around the parts and started causing problems. Clever traps to trick police officers and evade capture, getting into fights both with the other people living on the streets and with civilians, etcetera.

Ibrida that were in the streets were usually snatched up fast and taken into custody to get sold off, they were sought after so much for servitude. To imagine the pair in the cell before me evading capture and surviving on their own so long was...almost impressive. I raised my head to look in the cage again, and watched as the girl's mouth pulled back into a snarl even in her unconscious state. She was fighting. She'd gone down fighting, according to the auctioneer, whose pride was sickening as he grinned about the way his men had beaten the two ibrida down.

I don't remember the process. I only remember standing in front of the cell one moment, and it seemed like the next, I was standing in front of the redheaded ibrida as she snarled at me with all the anger and fearlessness of a wolf. The attitude caught me by surprise at first, it was so different from what I was used to. She was all teeth, claws, and brazen disrespect that she seemed determined not to break from. Even in my own house, under my direct control, she dared to test it to the limit until she forced my hand. I hadn't lost my temper like that in ages, so few could get a rise out of me in such a way. I could still see her face, after I'd hit her. She didn't keep her eyes down, even after that. No, she looked up at me with her eyes hardened, as if she were daring to challenge me again right after seeing what the consequences were. If she was too stupid to understand her place, she deserved what came to her. I tried to forget the brief flash of guilt that had first itched at me when I saw her collapsed on the floor, looking much like she had in that cell; battling a nightmare.

I'd left her alone most of the night to allow myself time to cool off, but come morning, I needed to fetch some things from my desk. I wasn't sure what I expected when I went in, but seeing the girl huddled up in the seat at the window and shivering something fierce wasn't on the list. I'd stared at her for a moment in my surprise before it clicked that she wasn't shivering from the cold. Her face was twisted into that of someone in pain, someone watching a terrible scene unfold without being able to look away. With curiosity clawing at me, I'd closed the door and walked towards her to get a better look.

It was likely the only chance I could do so without her snarling and snapping insults in her defensiveness. Her hair was falling into her face now, and her nose scrunched when it tickled her skin. My hand moved out to brush the strands out of the way before I'd thought better of it. Like this, she looked young and frightened, her brows pulled down and her arms hugged around herself in a tight hug. For most, it would have been hard not to pity her. It looked like she might shake herself apart, soon. Somewhere in the recesses of my thoughts, I doubted I'd want to know what was causing her so much distress. As if I should have cared at all. What was inside the girl's head was all her own, and her troubles weren't mine.

I still wasn't sure what I was going to do with the ibrida. I was stuck with her now, unless I wanted to pawn her off, and that defeated the whole purpose. I also doubted she would last long elsewhere, few would be willing to put up with any disrespect or problematic servants. My father's strong recommendations on purchasing a personal slave were based on general reasons. He thought it would do both my brother and I good to have something that was solely ours, something we could take our anger out on and relieve stress with. He was a man of tradition, a man of...distasteful habits. So far, she was only  _causing_  me to anger.

I decided it best to spend a few hours away from the Ibrida, fixing up some of my work and exorcising out all my frustration in the training arena. That was where Itachi found me, sometime later. I'd lost track. I was still bitter about his reckless choice last night, but I couldn't hold on to that grudge for long. My brother and I were too close, despite our many differences.

"What is it?" I asked, once I replaced the sword I'd used to train with. Itachi's grave expression made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and I think I knew what was coming before he got it out.

"Father wishes to meet them both. I tried to dissuade him, but he's adamant," Itachi told me, his words tight. You couldn't change our father's mind once he'd set it on something. He was too used to getting his way, too used to controlling everything, including his family.

That was one of the things I was dreading, when I first realized Itachi wanted to go through with it. Our father had a love of "pets" and servants alike, and he'd gone through several only since I'd gotten old enough to realize it. He was a cruel man with sadism and a lack of empathy for most, even his own sons. I suspected he wanted Itachi and I either to take after him, or to purchase a fresh young face for him to appraise. Either or, I trusted it wasn't going to end well. "It had better be fast," I grumbled, pushing a hand through my hair to move it back. "Give me a minute and I'll get her."

Itachi pursed his lips in that look of disapproval that I hated. "You've left her alone?" he asked. I felt a prickle of annoyance that I had to scratch.

"She's a slave and I won't treat her as anything else," I snapped, "if you want to treat yours like a prized pet, fine. Do as you wish, but don't tell me how to handle mine." I nudged past my brother without waiting for what other lectures he might want to impart, as I was in no mood. I didn't need him telling me what I should or shouldn't be doing with the girl. She was mine, and I would do what I pleased.

* * *

I wasn't good at sitting for hours when the only thing to do was to stare out a window. I'd considered sneaking a book off the library, but I was too anxious that I would miss hearing Sasuke approaching again and that I wouldn't be quick enough to put it back. His warning about not touching anything felt very real after his demonstration of what would happen if I made him angry enough. In spite of that, my boredom and restlessness were so great that when I heard the door open, it was almost a relief. Almost. It was a painful mixture between  _yes, I'm tired of this window_  and  _oh god, oh god, oh god_.

Sasuke didn't come in when he opened the door. Wary but confused, I straightened up from my place on the window seat to see better. Seeing the displeased expression clouding Sasuke's face didn't bode well. I flattened my ears when he raised his hand, his fingers curled into a beckoning gesture. "Come here."

The prospect of leaving the room was too tempting for me to not jump at the chance, regardless of what it meant. I left the jacket on the seat when I stood. I'd only just opened my mouth when Sasuke beat me to the punch, answering the question before it'd even gotten asked. "My father wants to see you," he explained curtly. "I suggest you keep your mouth shut, otherwise that mark on your face will look like nothing."

Ice water poured into my empty stomach, a burning cold from the inside out. The thought of having to meet anyone else couldn't be less appealing. After Sasuke, I wasn't' that keen on meeting any of the rest of his family, and his stony warning was of no help. Sasuke's wrath was enough, earning anyone else's wasn't on my agenda. I winced and offered a nod in understanding. If Sasuke's father was at all as vitriolic as he was, I'd be better off silent. Sasuke led me downstairs and through the set of double doors I'd seen last night, where I could see more of the overwhelming house. As unfathomable as it sounded, the bedroom felt small, now. This place was too much for one family, and I'd not seen anyone else living here aside from Sasuke and Itachi. And, I presume, their father. Surely there were others living here? Servants, family, something besides the shadows.

Sasuke turned a corner and at the end I saw Itachi and Alex standing, waiting near a closed door. A smile lit up my face at the sight of my brother looking well, and I stopped dragging my feet so much. Never would there be a more beautiful sight than Alex, who was often worn and dirty, looking so well. More well than I'd seen him in years. I felt guilty about how happy that made me, because he shouldn't be in this situation at all, but I couldn't help my relief. Alex looked up when he heard us getting closer and he started to smile, but his eyes lowered a fraction below my gaze and his eyes widened in surprise. I didn't have a chance to look, but I should've assumed that a bruise had formed, by then. Ignoring it, I threw my arms around my brother's shoulders once I was close enough. It was mostly because I had missed him, but I'd also done it before he could say anything aloud. I knew my brother well enough to predict him most of the time, and I couldn't begin to imagine what Sasuke would do, should Alex bring up the mark. Once I had my face buried against his shoulder, he murmured against my ear, "what happened?"

I could only shake my head in response, as much as I would've loved to sit with my brother and talk for hours on end, I didn't have that choice. Our time had already run out when I heard Itachi clear his throat, prompting me to back away from Alex, as much as it hurt to let go. I drifted back to Sasuke's side, who was standing with his arms crossed. He looked like he would rather be anywhere than right there. That did wonders for my nerves. And by wonders, I mean I felt ill.

Itachi was the one to knock on the door and, after a beat, a muffled voice called us inside. In the second between the permission and Itachi opening the door, he glanced to the side where Alex stood beside him, as if he were contemplating. I looked on in surprise when, without a word, Itachi placed his arm around Alex's shoulders and guided him close, only then did he open the door. Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the display and shot a quick glance at me, but he walked ahead without a comment. I wasn't sure if that was a comfort or not, if Itachi had felt compelled to do what he'd done. As alluring as the idea of running away sounded now that he wasn't standing behind me, it would take all of three seconds for him to catch me. It'd take another three for him to snap my neck, too, if I had to bet.

The inside of the room felt like the cell back at the slave compound had. It was cold, clammy, and left me feeling like even breathing was dangerous. A part of me wanted to shrink behind Sasuke to avoid the monster that I was sure lurked in such an unnerving space. You know what part was bigger, though? My pride, the reckless bitch. There, sitting at a desk scribbling signatures on a document, sat a man, hardly a monster. He looked like any other man, unassuming and a little tired. His hair was the same dark color as his sons', though he wore it shorter.

"Father," Itachi greeted, inclining his head a tad. Ignoring us, the man finished what he was writing before he looked up, his dark eyes mirroring the color of Sasuke's. Although, there was something deeper in them that Sasuke's didn't have. A writhing nausea bubbled up inside of me with such sudden intensity that my body trembled with the pain. The man's gaze pinned to me, and for the split-second I saw them, I could see something sinister lay past the cool glass of the older man's eyes. I couldn't bear to look into them, I knew I would throw up. I couldn't place a name or a reason to my arbitrary panic, but I couldn't help it and I couldn't ignore it. There was an air about this man that made every hair on my body bristle.

I could still feel his gaze on me after I'd looked away. Sasuke shifted sideways then, and his shoulder blocked some of my face from view. His father emitted a quiet chuckle that sounded anything but humorous.

"Not bad. I'm surprised you chose a male, Itachi," the old man commented. His gaze passed over Alex for a scrutinizing appraisal, and I felt myself stiffen despite Itachi's protective stance. "Of course, all they are is a stress reliever, something you two could use." Horror welled in me. From where I stood, I could see Itachi's arm tighten around Alex's shoulders, but my brother's expression never wavered. It remained collected, his jaw set tight in refusal to display his discomfort. My chest swelled with pride, but the contentment was fleeting. Those malicious eyes turned towards me for the second time, and I felt exposed, vulnerable, as if he could pick me apart and see everything laid bare in front of him. "Come here," he commanded, his tone brooked no argument, and with his gaze centered directly on me, I couldn't pretend he didn't mean me.

Itachi and Sasuke shared a glance with each other, while Alex looked towards me. Neither were of much comfort. With all the acceptance of someone walking towards their own noose, I slipped past Sasuke and approached the desk, holding my hands clasped in front of me. It was all I could do to keep them from shaking. In a slow, purposeful motion, as if everyone in the world waited on him, the man rose and reached towards me to take my chin in his clammy fingertips. "She isn't that impressive," he commented dryly, after a moment. "Clearly one of those inbred mutts. However, I see she's doing just fine for you, Sasuke." A pleased smirk overtook the man's expression, and he pressed his thumb against the bruise on my cheek, making me hiss and jerk away from his grip.

His sneer widened into a smirk that looked almost too big for his face, and I thought for a moment he was going to lunge across that desk and snatch me again. He looked excited. To my relief, he did no such thing, but sat down in his seat again. "I see you still need to teach her discipline. Don't worry, she'll learn," Sasuke's father clicked his tongue with disapproval. Sasuke uttered a noncommittal sound, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. A deep root of nervousness planted in my gut, a wary bubble of anticipation building up, but I said nothing. I only wanted to get out of the room, to get out from under the omniscient gaze of this asshole who'd made my face throb anew.

As luck would have it, Sasuke was more than ready to go. Although, by the way his hand clamped around my arm, I wasn't so sure how lucky I was about to be. He led me out of the room, leaving Itachi and Alex a blur in my vision. I stumbled along, still ill from the encounter and now anxious about leaving Alex behind. Sasuke didn't stop until he'd dragged me all the way back to his room, and by then, I was ready to complain about how big this stupid house was right to his face. Only once we were in the safety of his room did he release me with a careless drop of my arm, which I tried to rub the ache out of. I met Sasuke's harsh glare with a bitter look of my own, disbelief and anger coloring my face. He couldn't honestly think that that was my fault, his father had touched me where he knew it would hurt, he'd done it on purpose! I couldn't help it!

"I warned you that you need to be careful how you act, dog." Sasuke brought a hand to his head and held his forehead. Good, I hoped he had a headache. And, wow, there was that lovely nickname again. "You don't want to push your luck further than you already have."

I snorted, well familiar with the warning. "You've already proved that fine, you abusive prick." I had a bruise or two to prove it. How could he have thought what'd happened was my fault? If anyone was at fault it was his own, for hitting me in the first place! Why was I getting blamed for the mess?

Sasuke took a step towards me, his teeth grit into an ireful growl that would make most feral ibrida jealous. "I'll show you what abuse is," he hissed, and I got the impression that he wasn't threatening, but promising. I quickly unfolded my arms to try and hold them up, a meager last line of defense. It probably would've done me about as much good as toothpicks. To my immense fortune, Sasuke didn't get to me before a knock on the door interrupted. Sasuke stopped his advance and cut his eyes to the side. For a moment, I worried he was going to tell whomever was on the other side to go away, and resume whatever he'd been about to do.

He decided against it. My luck was being rather fussy lately, but I appreciated what little I got. "What now?" he called through the door, his lips set into an impatient line and his voice still tinged with anger.

Itachi's voice filtered through the wood, the calmness in it the total opposite of Sasuke. "You have visitors, Sasuke. I believe you'd best hurry."

Sasuke's shoulders sagged out of his hostile stance as he turned away from me, with a last hard glance. I got the feeling he was promising that the ordeal wasn't over. I tucked my arms close to my chest, still prepared to use them as a wall between myself and any threats. With any luck, whoever was outside would keep Sasuke busy for a long time. It wouldn't be long enough, but anything was better than nothing. Sasuke exchanged a brief word with Itachi before he continued down the hall, and I held my breath until I heard him descend the stairs. That's it, go away, hopefully he'd forget why he was even angry.

Itachi's eyes cut to the corners towards me, and I ducked my head to the floor when he faced me in full. I had hoped Itachi had brought Alex with him, but it'd become apparent he was alone. I waited a moment for him to leave, so that I might wallow by myself, but he lingered, until a smooth voice made me jump in surprise. "Amaya, correct?" he asked, and I was too taken aback to do anything but nod.

He came into the room, but like he had with my brother last night, he afforded me a comfortable distance. It was a minute effort, but a greatly appreciated one that I wanted to thank him for, but I didn't know how. Itachi's eyes flickered from my eyes to my cheek, and his eyes softened somewhat. "I apologize on behalf of our father, he's a disturbed man. He should stay away from both Alex and you," Itachi told me. His easygoing and amiable way he held himself made it hard for me to not relax at least a little. I didn't trust anyone aside from Alex as far as I could throw them, and I had a greater reason to distrust anyone here. Yet, Itachi was someone that made you want to trust him. He offered no reason to doubt.

"As for Sasuke," Itachi's expression took on a fond, if disappointed look, "my brother isn't as callous as he seems. He can be...a bit choleric, but he isn't heartless," Itachi presented me with a gentle smile. I didn't believe him, nor could I hardly believe Sasuke was related to him. I clenched my jaw to avoid a snort of disbelief, instead I formed a shaky smile of my own.

"My brother is lucky. Thank you, for protecting him," I said. Itachi's eyebrows rose in surprise of his own that soon melded into a glimpse of pity. Itachi and I may be on the opposite sides of the tracks—if we were even waiting on the same train—but we were both the eldest sibling, there was a kinship in that alone.

"Stay strong, Amaya. It will be all right." With those words of departure, Itachi took his leave and left me to mull them over in surprise and doubt. The heaviest weight on my shoulders had lifted some, now that I could see my brother was out of harm's way. At least, the weight was no longer suffocating me. Itachi would take care of him. Or, at best, he wouldn't be hurting Alex. If that was the only miracle I'd ever get, I would be forever grateful. Even if I couldn't protect my family, knowing that someone else was keeping Alex safe was good enough for me. It had to be. I felt like I would break if I couldn't believe in that.

My shoulders sagged with the onset of exhaustion. I'd only gotten through the morning, but it had been a long morning. The window seat looked tempting enough for me to lounge in it again, as it was my only stupid option. Before I could get too comfortable, I heard the telltale sound of someone, a very loud someone, heading up the stairs. I highly doubted it was Sasuke, judging by the speed and noise. A few seconds later, the "someone" came bursting into the room, all blond hair and smiles. My heart met my throat. Well, the person had an interesting way of making an entrance. At least that proved he wasn't a threat; threats tended not to smile at you.

"Wow, it's true. I almost didn't believe him!" the boy exclaimed. Was everything about this kid loud? He raised his hand at me in a wave, never once did his smile waver. "I'm Naruto, 'ttebayo. Your name's…Amaya, right?" He cocked his head when he asked, looking like he hoped he'd gotten it right.

Stunned, I tried to wrap my head around the turn of events. This was Sasuke's visitor? This boisterous, energetic boy? I couldn't picture him even talking to someone like Sasuke. "Uh, yeah, you got it. Nice to meet you?" I said, though I sounded a little uncertain even to my own ears. Naruto clapped his hands together in excitement, and he looked like he was gearing to say something else. Before he could, our little party got cut short by another guest.

Sasuke walked into the room behind Naruto, looking none too happy. "What did I tell you?" Sasuke asked. I must've missed a downstairs conversation, as if I didn't feel out of place enough already. "You aren't here to befriend a slave, you're here to work. Get back downstairs, idiot."

So, I wasn't the only person Sasuke spoke to like trash. Naruto scoffed out an annoyed sound and rolled his eyes, taking no offense. "You don't have to talk about her like she isn't here," he grumbled over his shoulder. I recoiled against the window. Great, was Sasuke going to blame me for his friend defending me, too? I expected Sasuke to snap at the blond for the remark, but Naruto continued talking, as if Sasuke wasn't looking at him like he'd like to sock the kid. "Whatever. You owe me lunch before we do anything. Hey, Amaya," I switched my gaze from Sasuke to Naruto, "I'll catch you later, all right?"

Yeah, no, I doubted it, unless he wanted to come bursting into the room every time. He shouldered past Sasuke, leaving nothing between myself and the vampire. Sasuke looked after Naruto with pursed lips. Even with his...unfriendly names, the interaction was the most casual I'd seen him. "Oi, who said I owed you anything?" he called. He raised both of his arms then, too fast and too close to me. I flinched, it had happened too suddenly for me to not. It took me only a second to realize he was only stretching. Shame flushed my face, but he didn't appear to notice I'd shied away from him, at least. Thank god for small blessings, I'd hate to see his satisfaction if he realized I was afraid of him.

No, not afraid of him. Only wary. He started after his friend and reached the door before he paused to glance back. "I'll bring you something to eat, later. Be quiet until then, and don't touch anything."

Same old news. "I'm not some dirty animal, I'm not going to contaminate anything," I mumbled, almost pouting. Sasuke sent me a sneer for that and shut the door in my face. Maybe I should rub my dirty, dog hands all over everything and hope he catches something.

I snorted at the idea.

* * *

"You're an asshole, you know that?" Naruto asked me, his fork aimed at me and with noodles still hanging from it. I didn't spare him a glance from the laptop I was typing away at. I'd needed his help with something, and that hadn't included watching him stuff his face.

"I've been told," I commented, only half paying attention. I started paying a little more attention when he slammed his fork down against the counter, leaving the clashing noise to echo. From over the lid of the laptop, I peered at him, awaiting an explanation for the tantrum.

"She isn't just some doll for you to hoard away! You can't treat her like that," he accused, now the second person to try and tell me how I should handle things. When Naruto had first gotten here, all I'd told him was to stay out of my room. Of course, that had led to him asking questions. I should have known better. I'd tried to keep the explanation short when I told him about the visit to that filthy compound, and how Itachi and I had ended up with two extra mouths to feed. Before I could hardly get the girl's name out of my mouth, Naruto had gone bounding up the stairs for my room, exactly what I'd told him not to do. He was only going to give her a heart attack, she was clearly jumpy as things were.

"I don't recall asking for your advice," I sighed, "she's mine to worry about."

Naruto clanked his fork into his bowl. "Yeah? You're doing a shit job. I'll be in the office, you know, like you  _ordered_."

I watched him go. I don't recall asking for his sarcasm either, but I'd gotten both. With a snap, I closed the laptop, and set my head in my hands. My head was throbbing, I could feel it in my teeth. Hunger pulsed throughout my body, but I hadn't had the chance to take care of it yet. I'd been too busy trying to pull together this treaty deal for my father, and now with the girl on top of everything else, I just hadn't had the time.

My hands clenched against the counter top, threatening to crack the marble surface. I could spit every warning in the world to that girl, and she would take it and shove it back in my face. Never had anyone had the audacity, the cour—no, the stupidity, to challenge me like she did. The way my father had looked her still sent a shudder of revulsion down my back. I couldn't blame the girl for pulling away from his grasp, but I couldn't allow it to slip, either. Not in front of him. If he suspected either me or Itachi of going soft on the two ibrida, he would take matters into his own hands. I'd witnessed how he treated those below him, especially servants. If the girl thought me to be abusive, she wouldn't survive my father.

Now that she was starting to realize the depth of her situation, I was hoping she would start to behave. I'd seen the way she cowered back from me when I'd lifted my arms earlier, leaning away from a hit that she thought to be coming. I wanted it to be progress, before she got herself into worse trouble, but she was proving herself to be too strong-willed for her own good. She had to break eventually, I knew.

Breaking into my thoughts, from upstairs came a thundering crash. I closed my eyes and took a slow inhale through my nose, struggling to find an inkling of patience.

Everyone had a breaking point.


	4. Chapter 4

Shit.  _Shit_ , I didn't mean to, I don't even know what I did.

Sasuke had a hanging chandelier that dangled from the ceiling, centered in the middle of the room and casting a soft glow. I was looking at the lights, the only interesting thing in the room after I'd read the spines of the books for the third time. That was all I was doing, I was watching them, getting lost in my own thoughts with the chandelier as my canvas. One moment they were glistening, pretty and intact; the next, several were shattering and raining glass down on the floor with a jarring  _pop, crack_!

I stared in awe at the gleaming mess, not yet had it set in what had happened. I hadn't caused anything like that since I was a child back at the laboratories. I didn't know I could, the experiments had often gone so wrong and yielded poor results. No, the chandelier must have been faulty, it couldn't have been my doing... After staring at the broken shards of glass for several seconds, the realization sunk in and panic followed right behind it. I hoped I had time to figure out how to get rid of the mess, but before any grand plans came to me, I heard someone coming up the stairs, likely a very angry someone. My heart sunk low, leaking out of my rib cage and through the floor. I wouldn't need it anymore, because Sasuke was going to fucking bury me.

The doorknob turned. The door opened. I stopped breathing. I didn't like how calmly the door opened, especially upon seeing Sasuke's expression directly contradicting any peace. He caught sight of the glass on the floor first thing and narrowed his eyes, brows furrowed in confusion, before the realization dawned on him. I couldn't bring myself to say anything as I watched him look up at the chandelier to confirm said realization, and after that, his eyes found me. "What the hell did you do?" he asked, sounding more confused than anything, but the anger hadn't dissipated from his eyes entirely.

I glanced back at the chandelier, which was swinging back and forth a bit. It looked pretty obvious what had happened, but not how, and I couldn't answer that any better than Sasuke. That wasn't going to do me any favors, though. "I–I don't know, I was only looking at it and the bulbs burst, I didn't—"

I was still staring at the ceiling as I struggled to piece together both what had gone wrong and a decent explanation, when I saw Sasuke start towards me. I snapped forward again and started to push myself off the floor. He reached me before I got all the way there, wrapped his fingers around my wrist, and yanked me the rest of the way up. I didn't quite appreciate the help. "They don't blow up on their own," he snapped, as if I weren't aware how light bulbs worked. "Tell me what you did. Were you throwing something?"

I attempted to pull my arms away from his vice-like grip. "I didn't do anything to them, asshole! You must have faulty wiring!" I answered. He would never believe me, not if he wouldn't even listen to me. I couldn't take getting blamed for every last thing, it was like Sasuke was only looking for an excuse to lash out. His father was right, he needed something to take his anger out on, but I would've suggested something more along the lines of a punching bag. Contrary to what Sasuke might believe, that wasn't what I was.

Sasuke's hands tightened around my wrists until I worried the pressure was going to snap them. I hissed in pain, no longer able to work my way out of his grasp, and now wishing I'd stayed in the stupid window seat and died of boredom, instead. With dizzying speed, Sasuke spun me around and slammed my back into the wall. The impact wrenched a cry from my chest, along with all the air in my lungs. Pain crackled up my spine, but I didn't have time to focus on it, my brain was trying too hard to center on everything happening. Sasuke's body caged mine against the wall, inexorable, powerful, and absolutely terrifying. I pried one eye open to peer up into Sasuke's furious eyes. "I've almost had it with your mouth, harlot. Watch it, or I'll do it for you."

I heard every word, but the second the insult hit my ears, it drowned out the rest of his warning. Rage launched up my throat and onto my tongue, burning my lips enough that I had to open them. "Fuck you!" I snarled, leaning back into the wall, and turning my face away. It wasn't the first time I'd heard the degrading word, but it was always generalized, or in anger. Hearing Sasuke use it set off a fuse in me that any self-respecting person had. I didn't have much, but I had a shred of that left, and I'd be damned if he took anything else away from me. "What gives you the right to treat me like that, you prick, I'm—"

"I have every right to treat you however I fucking please." Sasuke didn't raise his voice, but he was close enough that the icy whisper had all the effects of shouting. His body caging against mine kept me pinned to the wall; cold and strong. Adrenaline started to worm its way through my veins when my heartbeat started to pick up. The panic came too fast for me to crush it under my heel, faced with the raw power and anger before me. I had nowhere to move where I could escape the way Sasuke leaned into me. The anger in his eyes brandished an almost carnal glint.

Dread welled up in my chest, rising from a hidden cavity where I kept the realities I didn't want to think about. Something was wrong with Sasuke, something I didn't understand, but it was crystal clear. I only didn't know what—or if—I could fix it. With a hard swallow, I ground my teeth together. "Get off me," I grit out. I hoped my voice didn't waver as much as it sounded like to me. What else could I do, what else was I supposed to think? I knew how people used slaves. I knew what happened to pets purchased by rich, cold nobles. Had I been an idiot, assuming Sasuke to be above that?

Sasuke's hold loosened abruptly, and I thought he might let go and leave me, but I wouldn't be so lucky. He smirked, and it reached his eyes with a knowing glint, like he was catching on to something. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be in on what he'd realized, but I was sure that staying ignorant would only be detrimental for me. It was a rock and a hard place. "Don't flatter yourself," he sneered, "a dog like you isn't worth a second glance, and I can't imagine the disease you carry."

Humiliation burned first my eyes, then in my chest, making it a challenge to ensure no signs of it appeared on my face. It was like fire; the smoke might as well suffocate me. Those weren't the first insults I'd heard, nor was it the first time I'd heard things almost identical to that. People shouted a lot of things to homeless people and orphans they saw out in the roads or alleyways. Age hardly mattered, one you appeared mature, it was like free game. Prostitution was a rampant last resort with people like me, and I had no wish to insult those who turned to it. But for Sasuke to imply, to assume that on his own? He had no right, he didn't understand. The amount of times you heard something didn't make it hurt any less each time. "It takes one to know one," I snapped. That was almost shamefully childish, but if nothing else, I survived on spite. Spite was a son of a bitch, though.

The back of Sasuke's hand cracked across my face, the second time in as many days. Like the first time, the power behind the hit was enough to knock me down. Hot, stinging pain made the burn in my eyes worse, and when I raised my hand to cup my wounded cheek, there were flecks of blood where Sasuke's nails had cut me. A few stray tears leaked past my squeezed-shut eyelids and stung the shallow wound. I couldn't bring myself to look up at Sasuke, who was still shaking with rage above me. I worried it would antagonize his temper, and I couldn't bear to see him watch me fall apart. For several harrowing seconds, I sat still and waited for him to lash out again, but another hit never came. Sasuke won out on that small bit of self-control and stormed out with a slam of the door that shook the bedroom walls. At that time, the whole room could come crumbling down, and I wouldn't care.

"Fucking bastard," I muttered to myself. I knew he couldn't hear me, but it still made me feel a little better, and who was going to rob me of that small comfort?

From somewhere down the hall I heard Sasuke call to me, "that mess had better be cleaned up before I get back!"

He didn't need to add the "or else" for me to pick up on it. However, he didn't say how I was supposed to clean it all up. One look around the room told me there were no brooms or dustpans or anything else that would be useful, and had there been, what if Sasuke used it as another reason to lose his temper? "Don't touch anything!" he'd said. "Clean the mess up!" he'd said.

"With what?" I asked. I'd only asked myself, but that counted. With a dissonant look at the sea of glass scattered across the floor, I exhaled a long sigh and resigned myself. If my cheek was going to sting, I suppose my hands could, as well. I crawled forward towards the start of the mess, and began to pick the shards up piece by piece. Distantly, like I was listening to someone else's thought, I felt like I was picking up pieces of myself, too.

* * *

If I had stayed inside that room with her another second, I would have done something I'd regretted. She was an audacious, disrespectful, and now lying wretch? Never had I met someone with such a penchant for blatant insolence. I had grown up around servants, around civilians who revered me and enemies who feared me. Itachi and I had never had an issue with anyone giving us the respect we had earned and carved out ourselves. We wore our clan's name, and that made people turn their heads; but we had risen to the top ourselves. We'd taught and trained ourselves as weapons in a world that still struggled with fragile political relations, and that was what made people bow their heads. I earned respect, and I expected it from those so below me. From those who didn't offer it, they would fear me, instead. The girl? Nothing frightened her, I was starting to wonder if she had any weaknesses.

Now, I see I'd finally found one.

The scent of her fear was still fresh and making my blood thrum with hunger. I hadn't even done anything to warrant it, but when I realized what it was that was frightening her, I knew I'd found an advantage. I hadn't yet thought about her in that way, still preoccupied with the way she'd thrown everything around me off kilter. I was too busy with my duty, both personally as well as to my family and people. Frankly, I'd also been too frustrated with her to consider what personal companions were usually intended for. Even though it'd been unintentional, never had she been so quick to shut her mouth and lower her head. Her reaction almost made me laugh, but I doubt it was with humor. How many people had a homeless, skill-less ibrida "serviced" in their life? I couldn't begin to guess. Her sensitivity to the truth was not my problem. Everyone had to grow a backbone at some point in their life; people weren't nice, they weren't going to sugarcoat things. The world didn't favor the weak. Seeing her on the ground, knocked down and face shining…

I cringed and looked at my hand, where a trace of her blood still stained. It was only a fleck, I'd hardly hurt her. Still, the scent had filled my head within seconds, heady and sharp as the fine wines humans gorged themselves on. If I hadn't left, I was afraid I'd have drained her dry. I didn't trust myself, nor did I trust her uncanny ability to push me right to the edge. I knew better than to go so long without feeding, even when the price was worth it. Still, now this tiny amount was enough to drive me to the brink. She smelled so rich, and I could hear her blood pulsing through her veins every time I got too close. It would be so easy, she would taste so—

I bit down on my tongue and stopped that thought before it finished. It was only because she was a slave. She was here solely for the purpose of serving me, and that included any way I saw fit. If I had a need, she was there to satisfy it. It was the hunger talking, swaying my thoughts. I'd seen the strongest of men lapse in the face of a strong enough hunger, it spoke louder than any rationale.

I'd hoped to find some peace in the kitchen, but when I walked in, the sight of Itachi and our mother greeted me. The buzzing in my head worsened, but I couldn't bring myself to turn on my heel and leave again. My mother's face lit up with a gentle smile the moment she saw me, and despite my aggrievance, I felt some of the tension leaking from my shoulders.

"Itachi told me about your decisions last night," she said, her even and soothing tone dampened some. She, like Itachi, had too soft a heart. Only, unlike with Itachi, I wanted to protect my mother's as much as I could. Itachi didn't need it. Neither of us ever had, nor had we ever even had that chance. "You took in a girl, right? Is she well?" My mother asked, and how her innate maternal concern made me fight an inward wince. Even the way she said it was too pretty a way to put it,  _taking them in_. She knew that herself, but I was sure the idea of saying "bought" repulsed her.

"She's fine, mother," I assured. I debated how much to share, but decided that her name was at least warranted. My mother would have asked at some point, if I didn't tell her. "Her name is Amaya." The girl's name felt strange on my lips, it was so rare I'd used it, it tended to stay inside my head.

My mother's smile never wavered when she approached me and rested her hand on my shoulder. "That's a lovely name. Both of them are," she said, with a backwards look at Itachi. It dawned on me that he must've been talking with her about his own pet before I'd interrupted. Itachi's gaze was boring into me, and I could anticipate being unable to avoid what he wanted, but he was silent until our mother was well gone from the kitchen.

I had my back towards Itachi when he spoke. "Is she really all right?" my brother asked, suspicion dripping from his every word in that way he had of reading everyone around him like open books. "Or have you allowed your arrogance and your temper to get the better of you?"

That rubbed me the wrong way, and I was certain Itachi knew it would. He never said anything without calculating it first, a born and raised leader. Casting a scowl over my shoulder, I let a scoff past my lips. "Why do you care so much about it?" I asked, "that girl is none of your concern. She's a slave, she's beneath both of us. I don't concern myself with your pet, and I suggest you stop doing so with mine."

Itachi's eyes hardened. Had I been younger, that disappointment would've felt crushing. "So, you have," he shook his head. "Sasuke, do you truly believe that? Can you look at her and see nothing except a pet?" Itachi shivered when he grit out the offending word. "They're people."

I clenched my jaw against the throbbing pain in my head. "They're slaves, slaves get bought for very specific reasons." I didn't need Itachi patronizing me. I didn't want his disapproval, nor his advice. "If you want to spoil your pet, fine, but I don't need you telling me what to do with mine."

Itachi pushed off the wall he'd been leaning against, his jaw set tight. Even when we were both adults, the cool expression dug a pit of regret in me. "I don't want to hear you refer to Alex as that," Itachi warned. "It's a deplorable term. You can pretend all you wish, Sasuke. You know as well as I do that circumstances can be unfair. It isn't their fault that a greedy and power-hungry system takes advantage of those who are unlucky." Itachi left, but his words still hung in the air like fat rain clouds.

I remained still long after Itachi had gone, my hands gripping the counter and shaking. The only thing Itachi was good for anymore was leaving me feeling lost and doubting my own words. Even when there was nothing to doubt. He had always been the one who stood above everyone else, who could do no wrong. His protectiveness over the Feles boy was only going to end in tragedy.

He couldn't pretend our circumstances were anything alike.

* * *

I hadn't been able to stop shaking ever since the earlier conflict. The chill had seeped into my bones, and my hands were stinging like I'd dipped them into an open fire. Several tiny cuts littered my fingers and palms and made it hard to move them, but I'd finally gotten all the glass up and dumped into the bin in the bathroom. It'd taken a couple of hours, and I'd skimmed the floor twice to ensure there were no stray pieces that had gotten flung to other spots in the room. God forbid I miss a shard and Sasuke (or myself) step on it. My hands had stopped bleeding by now, after I'd rinsed them in the sink. I had to hope they'd quit stinging so terribly, soon. The only thing for me to do was to sit, staring into air and half-awake.

With my back leaning against the foot of Sasuke's bed, I was close to passing out, before the sound of the door opening wrest me back into some semblance of alertness. Moving wasn't worth the effort, though, I was content to stay in my little spot while Sasuke came in. I wasn't too eager to get in his way. He took one look at the floor, then towards me, his mouth opened in the beginnings of a sentence. He cut himself off when he saw the delicate way I was holding my hands, the thin cuts a bright crimson against my skin. "Did you do that to yourself?" he asked slowly, almost like he didn't want to know in spite of asking.

I looked down. They didn't look that bad, I'd seen a lot worse, it wasn't like my hands looked mangled. "You told me to pick up the glass," I reminded him, not lacking bitterness, "so I did." Had he forgotten that little incident earlier?

"With your hands?" He sounded incredulous. After nudging the door shut behind him, he came to stand in front of me. I tilted my head back against the bed so I could look up at him. He had a brow cocked, but I couldn't decide if he looked amused or surprised that I could possibly be that stupid. Trust me, I was full of surprises; but it wasn't as if I had a ton of options left to me.

I shrugged, "you didn't have anything else, what else was I going to do, stare at it until it evaporated?" Looking back, I wondered if that might've worked. After all, it was as inexplicable as them blowing in the first place.

Sasuke snorted and shook his head before he headed into the bathroom, leaving me feeling something like a chagrined kid. From where I sat, I could hear him rustling through things. "You could have used a sheet of paper off the desk," he called back to me, as if a suggestion now could have any use to me. With an indignant sniff, I flexed my burning hands. That would've been nice to know, only it was a few hours too late.

"I remember someone telling me not to touch anything," I mumbled back. To my (weak) satisfaction, Sasuke had nothing to say after that, not until he came back into the bedroom with a little jar in his hands. I recoiled when he knelt in front of me and reached out—it was an immediate reflex, my body flinched away before I could re-steel myself. Who wouldn't?

"Let me see your hands," he ordered, holding one of his own out palm-first. I stared at him for a moment, cautiously unfurled my hands from my chest, and reached them out. With surprising care, he took my right one first and dipped his fingers into the jar. The bluish cream stung as he coated my wounds in it, not that it could compare to the initial pain of getting cut. If it would bring any relief, I would shut up and take it. My teeth sunk into my tongue to bite back any hisses of pain while Sasuke gingerly treated the wounds. When he finished, he happened to glance up at me, catching me off guard. His eyes lingered on mine for a second too long before he broke it by standing up. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd started holding. That same glint I'd caught in his eyes earlier was present once again. With a dry swallow, I pulled my hands close to me again. I didn't want to place a name to that look, but I wanted to make myself as small as I could.

"I have a meeting to attend tonight," the words interrupted my train of thought. I snapped to when Sasuke started talking, and I looked up to watch as he pulled off his shirt. Startled, I felt a surprised flush warm my face before I could turn away to afford him privacy. Where I was from, people tended to treat their bodies as a little more, you know, private. "I don't know how late I'll return, so I'll grant you permission to leave the room for a while, as long as you don't get into anything."

My ears pricked up at the prospect of getting to leave the room for a while. The thought was so enticing, I could ignore that bit at the end. I'd felt so cooped up the past couple of days that even an hour out of my little prison felt like a gracious gift. Sasuke finished dressing and ran a hand through his hair, an attempt that didn't do much to straighten it out. I found myself staring at his face for a moment, caught up in the realization I'd not had a good chance to get a real look at Sasuke, yet. Everything had been too hectic, and it felt illicit to steal a glance. It sounded odd, but there was a barrier there that felt as if either of us shouldn't try crossing it.

As I'd noticed on the first night, his features were softer than his brother's, less sharp and defined. Sasuke's eyes were rounder and his lips fuller even when they were more often set into a smirk or thin line of annoyance. His Grecian nose and narrow jawline complimented him well. He was a handsome young man with a proud, patrician face that didn't match the capricious layers underneath, but I was learning that appearances tended not to match personality.

With a disapproving glance around the room, Sasuke departed with one final order, of course everything came with a price. "The laundry room is down the stairs and to the left. Clean up around here, if you can handle it without hurting yourself," he glanced over his shoulder once finished. The smirk that followed his words left my own lips trying to twitch up in response. Trust that a spoiled brat like him couldn't take care of his own chores. Dragging myself up off the floor and gathering up the clothes sounded like more energy than I wanted to expend, but I did get it done...after a bit of dawdling.

The stupid room was big enough to make gathering clothes feel like a scavenger hunt, but never let it be said I was a quitter. A few minutes later saw me in the laundry room (which, despite Sasuke's directions, took me a couple of tries to find) and setting the washing machine. I was prepared to leave the machine to its work and go off to, hopefully, seek out something to eat. My stomach had stopped aching last night, as it had been the third in a row since I'd last been able to find a good meal, but my head and limbs both ached and I felt as sluggish as a drugged sloth. It might not please Sasuke, but what he wouldn't know wouldn't hurt him. Or, rather, wouldn't hurt me.

Led by hunger, I headed out of the sweet-smelling laundry room and almost into the path of someone else heading through the hall. The person covered their mouth with a startled gasp and I jumped back in shock to get out of the way. I was convinced for a moment it was Itachi, but a closer inspection corrected that guess. It was a woman, perhaps in her early forties, if even. I could see why I thought her to be Itachi at first glance, with her long black hair, she looked a bit like him. But, more than anything, she looked like Sasuke. That realization was jarring. "Oh!" she exclaimed, her hand still covering her mouth before she lowered it to reveal a smile. "You startled me, I thought I heard someone in here. You must me the girl Sasuke spoke of," the woman held her hand out to me.

Wary but hating to offend her, I accepted her soft handshake. "Uh, probably," I started, "my name is Amaya, I was just doing some laundry," I explained, as if exiting the laundry room wasn't a good enough hint.

To her credit, the woman didn't comment on my awkward way with words. "I'm Itachi and Sasuke's mother, you may call me Mikoto."

I might've guessed as much. Although, aside from the resemblance, the similarities stopped there. Even then, where Sasuke looked cold, Mikoto managed to make those features warm. Her smile was too gentle to ever remind me of Sasuke, but her eyes, oh. He had his mother's eyes, almost identical, but her smile lent her eyes a gentle depth that Sasuke's lacked.

"It's nice to meet you," I bowed my head. As much as I didn't want to trouble her, she was my best bet at not getting lost in this massive place. I couldn't imagine who'd find my corpse, starved, but I'd definitely haunt this place in vengeance. "I'm sorry, but could you tell me where the kitchen is?"

Because your son was trying to starve me, and that wasn't how I wanted to go. Well, maybe he wasn't trying, but he sure wasn't too bothered about it.

"I was on my way there now," Mikoto inclined her head, "I'd be happy to make enough for two, follow me." She headed off down the hall, and there went my plans to not trouble her too much. The idea of Sasuke's relation to this kind-hearted woman was still reeling in my head. He reminded me a lot more of his asshole of a father.

After recalling that sinking dread I felt while standing before that man, I actually felt guilty for that comparison.

I felt tiny and intrusive, sitting at the table while she cooked. I swear I'm not an ill-mannered beast, but the second she placed the bowl in front of me, I'd polished the entire thing off within minutes. Rice, meat, and vegetables all. I couldn't even feel embarrassed about scarfing the meal down, I was so relieved to have something my belly again.

At the very least, I convinced her to let me wash the dishes. It wasn't until after Mikoto had left, after politely explaining she had an errand to run, that I felt I could relax. It wasn't that she made me uncomfortable, it was that I worried about making her uncomfortable; like I wasn't sitting straight enough, or that I spoke too fast. Everything about the woman screamed of regality. You know what I screamed of? Anxious disaster.

Speaking of, it was a good idea to not sneak up on those who were anxious, because they would scream.

With no warning, a pair of arms loomed from the corners of my eyes and I didn't have time to react before they were squeezing me into a hug. I rasped out a cry of surprise, but with the air getting crushed out of me, it was hard to do much else. I didn't have to worry about who it was, so that took the edge off the initial heart attack. The suffocation thing was still going to be an issue, though, if he didn't let go.

"Fuck," Alex exhaled the expletive from where he had his forehead pressed into my shoulder, "I missed you so much, I didn't think you would ever come out! Are you okay?"

Well, not after he'd tried to scare me to death, no. But otherwise? "I'm fine, I promise. You can stop squeezing me," I soothed. He unlocked his arms to free me from the death trap, allowing me to take a grateful breath. When I turned around, though, I regretted even asking him to let go. He looked worried sick. I stroked his hair back and offered him a reassuring smile as best I could muster. "Look, I'm not hurt, everything is okay. You don't have to worry, anymore." I hadn't thought about how it would look to Alex, I'd left him alone almost a solid two days. Whether it was of my own volition or not, I felt sick with guilt.

"Bullshit," Alex snapped, wiping away my pitiful attempt at reassurance. Surprised at the outburst, my eyes widened when he pointed to my face. "You've got a bruise right there, I'm not blind. He hits you," he accused, his voice so filled with disgust that it left me no room to deny.

That didn't mean I wouldn't try. "I said I was fine, it's nothing but a little bruise," I brushed off. "We've gotten hurt far worse just trying to make it through the night, it isn't that serious." That, at least, was the truth, as much of it as I could divulge. Alex wasn't unused to the sight of a meager bruise.

"I should kill him," Alex's voice lowered into a deadly, venomous growl that made even me shudder at the chill. My brother was such a demure person that hearing such rage coming from him was unnerving.

I rushed to diffuse the situation before it could get any worse, I didn't want to imagine Sasuke even looking at my little brother wrong, much less what would happen if Alex tried something like that. "No, no—you can't. We aren't in a scrap with some other starving kids, Alex, Sasuke wouldn't flinch if you hit him." Trust me, I would know.

Alex's ears flattened into his hair. I knew he hated what I'd said, but it was better than him wandering off and getting himself into a fight. It was never his job to protect me—not before, and certainly not now. My last chance at completely making Alex drop the subject was to distract him; what better way but to do that and quell my own concerns at the same time?

"Are you?" I asked. Alex narrowed his eyes in confusion, prompting me to clarify, "hurt, I mean?"

Alex hugged his arms over his chest. My hackles started to rise before he finally opened his mouth. "No, Itachi has been nothing but kind. I feel more like a guest than a slave," Alex's confession came with an awkward rub of his shoulder. "I don't know how I feel about it. I thought this would be different, that it'd be easy to tell who was bad and who was good, but I can't."

 _It would be easy to tell who was bad and who was good_. I closed my eyes. It was such an innocent, blind statement.

"As long as he's treating you well, why look for a reason it's wrong?" I carefully asked. Alex didn't look at me after that. Was it true, was Itachi taking care of Alex like he had promised me? Alex wasn't a good liar like I was, he stumbled over his words and took too long to come up with what he had to say. I couldn't find a fallible lapse in his story. I had labelled Itachi as a monster long ago, when I heard of the way he could cut through a battlefield. I'd thought people were black and white. You were either a good person, or you were bad, you hurt others. Now, faced with the confrontation that Itachi wasn't the malicious, heartless man I had already painted him to be… It was like the glass. I had to pick up the pieces, only with this, I was going to have to make something new out of the shards. In the shards, I could see the pieces of a reflection, someone staring back at me, but I refused to look too deep.

I caught a glimpse of onyx before I swept the shards away and clapped a hand over my mouth. I'd just remembered I still had work I needed to finish, and at least an hour had already passed. With Alex's admittance still stirring in my gut, it was a perfect chance to escape thinking about it altogether.

"Shit, I forgot I have some things I need to finish," I gave Alex an apologetic smile, but it felt more like a grimace. "I'm sorry. I'll come see you again, soon, okay?" I pressed a quick kiss to his forehead in a goodbye before I left, ignoring his confused noise behind me.

The clothes smelled strongly of the crisp, oceanic detergent as I shoved them into the dryer, and I fought the urge to stand there and bask in the relaxing aroma. I didn't have time to act like an addict huffing. I set the dryer and skidded out of the laundry room to head up the stairs, back to Sasuke's room to finish with the rest of the chores. Of course, what exactly he expected was beyond me, because it wasn't as if his room was a mess. I had at least half an hour to kill before the clothes finished drying and were ready to get folded, so I might as well get to work straightening up a few things. The desk needed things put back in order after his earlier display of knocking papers everywhere, and a little dusting couldn't hurt. The menial, simple work was almost too easy. It reminded me how worse off other people had it, working in factories, or scrubbing whole mansions clean. It reminded me that I might be the lucky one, and that luck was nothing but shit.

By the time I'd realized it, I'd spent quite a bit of time in my anger-fueled cleaning until I felt satisfied that the room looked pristine and like I'd actually done something. While dusting, I'd taken the liberty of pulling out a few of the books on the shelves to get a better look at the covers. The temptation to sit down and read a couple was, although a little childish, almost too much to resist. Maybe if I asked Sasuke, he would allow me that small privilege. Knowing him, he could also laugh in my face and doubt my ability to read, since he seemed so convinced I was an uneducated yokel. It was a stereotype plenty of people believed in, however unfounded it was. That was the point of bullshit prejudices, wasn't it?

It had been a few hours since Sasuke had left for the meeting; I'd left the basket of folded clothes beside the bed after finishing with everything. I had no idea where they all went, and if Sasuke couldn't handle putting his own clothes away, he needed to get his shit together. What did families who enslaved countless servants do, live off them?

It wasn't until somewhere near midnight that I could hear Sasuke coming up the stairs. I'd only begun to doze off a few minutes before, but I was wide awake by the time the door closed behind him. The air grew heavy, thick enough to slice through. The abrupt change alerted every warning bell inside me. The way Sasuke moved was stiff, too tense, it reminded me of the stilted way an aggressive animal moved when they paced in a cage. He'd come to a pause about halfway into the room, his gaze bouncing from the desk to the basket of clothes.  _Too erratic_ , my mind supplied the realization. Despite my brief time of knowing Sasuke, I would have to be blind to not see how obvious the change in him was. He was a cool, collected person who moved with a grace that few people had. Tonight, it was nothing but tight, anxious motions. I tried to swallow, but my throat was too dry and I almost made myself cough.

"Not a bad job," he intoned. Even his voice sounded wrong, it was husky and raw. Everything about him leaned towards feral and inhuman. The reality of it smacked me in the face; Sasuke was as far from human as they came. "Why didn't you put the clothes away?"

I stood from where I'd been at the window seat, admiring the stars popping up in the sky. "I don't know where they go, I think even a princess can put their own clothes away." The words had hardly left my mouth when I understood how gravely I'd screwed up. With Sasuke already so on edge, all it would take was a breeze to shove him off, and I was the wind.

A frightening growl rumbled in Sasuke's chest, filling the once peaceful room with enough tension to kill. My hair stood on end and something twisted in my stomach, leaving me feeling like I'd just dropped ten stories. It wasn't a pleasant sensation. I tried to take a step away, anything to put more distance between myself and Sasuke, but I never got that chance. He was on me in the span it took my heart to stop, his hands clasped my shoulders in a bruising grip. I cried out in shock and pain when he shoved me to the side, throwing me onto his bed with all the effort it might've taken to throw a stuffed animal. I wasn't a small woman by any means, I had weight on me. His display of raw strength made me feel like a tiny, fragile deer staring into the open jaws of the lion about to rip it to shreds.

"Sasuke, stop! What the hell is wrong with—" I had started shouting at him, hoping it might get his attention and snap him out of his rage, but it only made it worse. His knees sunk into the mattress as he climbed atop and caged me beneath him, his arms on either side of my head and my waist between his legs. The searing glint of crimson in his eyes crushed my lungs and left me unable to breathe. I wanted to hide, to look away and escape the penetrative gaze, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. I could feel myself sinking in, getting lost, and I knew I'd never find my way out. I'd spent years hearing stories of the Sharingan and how people were terrified of its power. It took me three seconds to understand why.

Glistening fangs gleamed in the dim light when his lips spread in a sneer, sharp and fatal. I opened my mouth, to gasp, to scream, but nothing came out. My back arched forward on my body's own volition, so desperate to escape the impending threat looming over me. "I think a lesson is in order," Sasuke's voice chased a shudder down my back, it was still that deep, throaty cadence. Sasuke leaned down, close to my throat. I could hear my own blood pounding in my ears. His tongue was hot, almost enough to burn when it touched the thin skin of my neck, licking a scalding strip down to my collarbone. I could finally shut my eyes.

"Don't." It mortified me to hear how meek my voice sounded. It was too hard to get a good enough breath to make my words not shake, but I wrenched them from the very corners of my lungs. "Please, I—"

"I don't take orders from anyone,  _Amaya_." He growled my name and my body jerked beneath his. His weight shifted as he moved his arm, his hand pressing to my hip—no, no, no. His hand was cold when it slipped beneath my shirt. Panic had seized me so tightly that I could feel it breaking me from the inside out. My bones were going to become dust, and my lungs wouldn't expand, they wouldn't let me breathe. Things like this happened to people in passing, you heard it on the news, read it in papers. It didn't happen to you. It didn't happen to me. It didn't, it couldn't.

Sasuke couldn't do this, he wouldn't do this—Sasuke wasn't a monster. He couldn't be. I refused to believe that. He was so many things, but never this. There had to be something, some way to make this stop. He could do anything else, I didn't care what got thrown my way—anything but this. I had to snap him out of it.  _This wasn't_   _Sasuke_.

" _Master,"_  I gasped out the word and tasted the bitterness on my tongue. "Master please, stop, please! This isn't— _you aren't a monster_." Begging was so, so bitter, I couldn't get it off my tongue even when I'd stopped talking. I felt Sasuke still above me, his hand freezing beneath my shirt. For a jarring second, I thought it wouldn't work, but slowly, Sasuke took his hand from under my shirt and left it at my hip, where his nails dug in. It was restraint, I realized. That same restraint he'd used that first night. He was trying not to sink too far. Finally, I sucked in a frantic breath, the frigid imprint still stinging on my flesh. His lips curled into a smirk that, while I couldn't see, I could feel it pressed against my neck. His fangs were cool and smooth against my throat. Through my quaking relief, I had enough grace to cringe away from them.

"You don't know what a monster is," Sasuke murmured, and he sank his fangs into my throat, right into the vein. My entire body tensed and pressed up into his, unable to go anywhere with him holding me down. Pain engulfed me, swallowing me whole. His free hand cupped the side of my face as my mouth opened in a scream, but my voice got lost somewhere along the way. I could feel my blood spilling into his mouth, a fierce fire in my neck that began to creep to every corner of my body. I was burning alive.

Sasuke fed for several minutes, the longer it went on the more the minutes started to feel like hours. My thoughts started to fade, along with everything else. My body began to fall limp, until even my fingers wouldn't flex when I tried. My head was swimming, a mass of color and noise I couldn't make sense of. I couldn't hold my eyes open any longer, but my consciousness still clung on for as long as it could. My limbs felt heavy and aching, where every nerve in my body was alight with crackling electricity, thrumming alive. When Sasuke pulled away, my neck started to throb in horrible pulses. Pain wended through my veins and met with the electricity, bringing something heinous to life in the midst. I thought that I was dying, and death felt nothing like the peaceful grace that books described. Cool, cautious fingers brushed across my forehead, moving my hair out of my face.

Exhaustion began to curl her long fingers around me. Faintly, I felt a silken sheet falling across my chest, covering my body. In the last moments I was awake, I thought I heard a whisper. "What is it about you?"

My dreams were tinted red.


	5. Chapter 5

When I woke, it took me a while to realize that I wasn't still drowning in a hazy, fitful slumber. To test the certainty of my consciousness, I peeled my eyes open despite the grainy feeling still in them. Wow, what a regrettable choice that had been. A heavy numbness blanketed my body, leaving my limbs feeling limp and useless. Tentatively, I flexed my fingers and found that I could move again, an immense relief compared to my bout with paralysis last night. That had to be a good sign, didn't it? I moved my head to the side, hoping to get a look at the window and gauge the time, but a dreadful throb in my neck made me flinch and stop in my tracks. A pained, hoarse groan bubbled up my throat, similar to how I imagined a dying cat sounded.

"Finally awake?" a voice near the foot of the bed made me start, thus making that throb and the leaden feeling in my limbs worsen. Right, reminder; no sudden movements. I cut my eyes to the side to see Sasuke hovering at the edge of the bed. My heart skipped a beat and I wanted to sit up immediately, but I already knew that would be a poor decision. Through the panic clouding my judgment, I could see now that Sasuke was still. He stayed where he was and made no offer to reach for me. He looked nothing like he had last night. The jerky, hostile movement and snarling were all replaced with cool, collected words, and a lax posture. I couldn't help looking into his eyes, anticipating the captivating red from last night to engulf me once again, but they had reverted to their familiar pools of black. It was a relief I never thought I'd feel. In that moment, I thought I saw Sasuke look away, but I might've imagined it. It was hard to hold my eyes open for long enough to get a good look at much of anything.

"Am I dead?" I rasped, and sure, I meant it to be sarcastic, but a part of me was genuinely curious. Sasuke snorted, a reaction I'd least expected. An annoyed scoff was closer to my expectations.

"Something tells me it would take a lot to kill you," he answered. Somewhere in my sluggish mind, I hoped, that he wouldn't take that as a challenge. With a painful, dry swallow, I dragged myself into a vaguely upright position. I was sure I looked as bad as I felt, and I was afraid to look at my neck. Sasuke glanced at it once I was up, but he was quick to turn away from me once he had, which wasn't a comforting sign. With trembling fingers, I reached up to touch the wound. I winced, even being as careful as I could while skimming over the mark. It wasn't a jagged, open hole like I'd anticipated. I could feel no torn skin, only two, almost unnoticeable pinpricks in my flesh. The patch of skin surrounding them was hot, and still tender.

"You have permission to leave the room. I have…something to attend to, today." Sasuke scared me out of my sinkhole of thought, and I yanked my hand down from my throat. He was already gone by the time I'd looked to where he'd been standing. His eagerness to get out of the room dumbfounded me, but I couldn't say it upset me. The air was easier to breathe once he'd left, and I wasn't afraid to take a step without it pissing him off. At any rate, I could use the time to myself. First things first, the bathroom, to clean the wound off.

I hefted my legs over the side of the bed and stood, only to stumble to the side at my first step. Okay, first things first would be relearning how to walk. I couldn't know how much blood Sasuke had taken when he'd fed, but my body was protesting the loss like hell. It took a few extra minutes to get to the bathroom, but once I succeeded, I smiled viciously into the mirror at my victory. My satisfaction was transient, once I caught sight of the blood on my neck, smeared across it and with two thin trails leading down almost to my shoulder. It wasn't a horror scene like I'd read and heard of, but it was still a startling sight all the same. No wonder Sasuke had been so averse to looking at it, I didn't want to, either. But, no one else was gonna take care of it, so that left me. Resigned, I took one of the towels from the rack and dampened it to clean off.

The blood had dried and was hard to scrub away without hurting the still aching area, but at least it was no mangled gore show like I'd thought. In fact, it was underwhelming, compared to everything I'd come to fear. Some of that was a bit prejudiced on my part, or at least, it was over-dramatic. It was only a stereotype that vampires killed to feed, something from old scary tales. Sure, some did, but it was uncommon and almost barbaric... It was the kind of thing you saw on the streets, when a group of starved vampires found and preyed on one, unfortunate person out alone. I'd seen it happen, you heard the panic from people who worried that a monster would come for them, too. Most preferred to take what they needed, which wasn't half as much as the entire body held at any time, whether the vampire was starving or not. Sometimes they might need to feed from more than one person to satiate their hunger, if it was that intense.

Once clean, my neck was adorned with two tiny red spots. The area surrounding it was still inflamed and a little sore, but I had nothing to treat that with. I didn't know how to care for a bite-mark from a vampire, because I didn't know anyone who'd ever lived to have to. Blood slaves were always hidden away, and those who died could tell no tales. Somewhere in my mind, I wondered if it was going to get infected or have some other painful side-effects.

Shaking, I set the towel down in the hamper. Even that simple task was enough to drain me. Well, at least I could move at all. Last night, I…I didn't want to think about what I thought was going to happen. Seeing Sasuke like that still sent a shudder down my back, and it wasn't something I ever wanted to see again. Never had I thought of a vampire as animalistic. That word tended to stay reserved for my own kind, but last night, that was the only word I could use to describe Sasuke's starving violence. Why he had lost control like that so bad, I wasn't sure, but I prayed it wouldn't happen again. I doubted I could handle it happening that way again, and it was by pure luck I had snapped him out of it before he lost himself completely.

It may not have been my doing at all, but at the time, it had felt that way. It felt like the only thing I could do to bring Sasuke back enough. Starvation did terrible, uncontrollable things to vampires; I'd heard rumors, but last night, I'd experienced it. Sasuke was far from a rabid animal that functioned solely on instinct, I knew that well enough. His temper, however volatile, was awful, but he wasn't...he wasn't what the people at the compound were, what villains you read in books and hated were. Sasuke was so many things, things I didn't know of and didn't understand yet, but he wasn't a monster. I wanted him to be, I think, as heinous as that sounded. In the beginning, I'd at least wanted that. I didn't want to feel anything other than hatred and rage, I wanted to believe in the one thing I had left; that anyone who bought my life was a demon. Sasuke wasn't black and white, and that hurt more than any hit or cruel word could. It meant I couldn't put him in a box. I couldn't look at him and know that he was heartless, worthless, or monstrous. He was a boy, he was a person like me. That was the most dangerous thing about him.

I took a slow breath. I wasn't innocent, either. I'd done things I didn't want to look back on, all for the sake of survival or protecting those I loved. Vampires, like any other race, had their darkness. How often did a vampire lose control like that, though? How often did they starve and it took over their body, their minds? If it was a common occurrence among their race…I understood why they bought blood slaves. Blood slaves were popular, and kept in the homes of vampires or at their sides in cases where the vampire couldn't leave, hunt, or only wanted easy access to food. Often, blood slaves died from overuse from their vampire masters. Who cared about a servant, whose life only had meaning when they gave you yours? Last night, I thought I'd learned the true reason Sasuke had bought me. When I woke up that morning, you can see why I wasn't sure if I was alive or dead, stuck in some sort of purgatory.

Chills crept up my back. I could still feel his hand on me. On my abdomen, there were tiny, shallow nail marks where he'd dug his fingers in after I'd made my plea, like he was struggling to drag himself away. What if he hadn't, what if he hadn't stopped? What if I hadn't said the right words, and—

He hadn't. Sasuke was many things, I could attest to a few, but  _that_  wasn't among them. The bloodlust did things to him, changed him, until only core instincts remained. But, he still hadn't gone through with it. He had fed, but he'd had no other choice. He had fought his own instincts so he wouldn't kill me, or anything else his hazed instincts would've driven him to. I dropped my head into my hands when a fresh bout of dizziness overwhelmed me, my mind still too jumbled to keep up with the turmoil. From the start, I'd been content to think of Sasuke as a beast, as the vicious murderer vampires got painted as. He thought lowly of me, and I could think lowly of him.

But my brother, what he'd said about not understanding why Itachi wasn't fitting into our ideal of black and white morale, I couldn't get that out of my head. Up until last night, I  _knew_  Sasuke to be bad, cruel. This morning, I'd woken up  _knowing_  Sasuke wasn't an evil person. Not to his core. That realization left me more shaken than the bite, and the bite was pretty bad. Sasuke had protected me, even if it'd been protecting me from himself. I pulled my hands away from my face with a frustrated groan, I wasn't in a place to cope with everything whirring in my head. I needed to get something in my stomach that would raise my blood sugar. I had the freedom, and I needed to take advantage of it.

Getting down the stairs was an ordeal, one that I thought might end in me tumbling down them. I felt like I had an awful case of vertigo, and a long fall wouldn't help that at all. My stomach was writhing inside me, but I hoped that eating something might help me regain some energy and clear up the wooziness. I was lucky to remember the way to the kitchen, and while the sight was a relief, the three people in it were less so. Alex and Itachi were sitting at the table, the lingering of a smile was still on my brother's face when he turned towards me after I stumbled in. Mikoto stood near the sink, her knife cut halfway into a green onion. She was staring at my face, aghast, before looking to my neck. Her eyes widened at the sight, and yeah, it wasn't pretty, but enough to warrant that reaction?

Feeling self-conscious, I covered the mark with my hand, and that snapped her out of her shock. She cleared her throat and schooled her expression into a smile. I didn't believe it much, after seeing her stunned, almost frightened reaction. "Good morning," she started, and I could see she was struggling not to glance at my throat. "You could use something to eat. Sit, it's almost finished."

She hadn't asked, she'd ordered. Maybe I looked worse off than I thought, they did say the mirror tended to lie. At least she seemed well aware that I was in bad need of food, but that made me wonder how familiar she was with situations like this. Did vampires often take care of their...suppliers? With a shaky smile that I doubted was as reassuring as I'd have liked, I took her suggestion and slid into a seat at the table. Instead of joining a quiet breakfast, though, it felt more like I'd just stepped out from behind a curtain to get gawked at by wide-eyed spectators. Alex's eyes were the size of dinner plates and his face had gone pallid. Itachi was less overt, he didn't appear at all horrified or disgusted like my brother, but the way he watched me still made me feel like I needed to keep my hand over my neck. It was like he was trying to gauge something, like I was on trial, and I was uncomfortable as it was. The wound was still hot against my palm, and it hurt to touch, but it was better than everyone staring at it.

"You look like you just woke up from the dead," Alex's strained comment came. I huffed out a throaty laugh.

"Thanks, that makes me feel terrific," I answered wryly. Alex's expression relaxed some, because if I was well enough to joke, I must not be dying. I could tell that he had a dozen questions brimming on his tongue, but with the other two in the room, he wasn't going to pry. Not yet. Unfortunately, I wish I could say the same for Itachi.

"How do you feel?" he asked, and I wanted to ask him if my appearance wasn't clear enough. I gave a half-hearted shrug of my shoulders and managed to make my neck ache. Genius.

"Like I'm gonna faint, to be honest," I told him. I figured there was no real reason to lie to him, and if anyone, he would best understand it. Unless this was the first time Sasuke hadn't finished someone off. Was that why he and Mikoto were so shocked, was I not supposed to be alive? My stomach churned at the thought.

Thankfully, Itachi didn't look like my answer was surprising. That was more soothing than anything. "That will dissipate throughout the day. The food will help," he explained, "but try not to exert yourself too much."

Right, there went my plans of running a marathon that day. Darn. I gave him a shaky thumbs-up, relieved that he knew what I should do. That meant this wasn't uncommon, that he and Sasuke didn't feed to kill, didn't it? "Thanks for the tip."

I lowered my head to the counter right after, already drained, but I thought I caught a smirk on his lips on my way down. No, I doubted it. Must've been my imagination. I was too weary to be curious, but with my forehead pressed to the table, it was easier to pretend I wasn't about to pass out for the second time. From above, I heard Alex snicker at something, but looking up would've taken too much work, not to mention I felt like I'd invaded a conversation as things were. It was growing clear to me that Alex got along well with Itachi, if his earlier smile was any indication. By the time Mikoto came and set two bowls down on the table with a gentle clink, I was almost ready to leave the two in front of me to themselves. I was uncomfortable around Itachi already, but seeing how  _not uncomfortable_  Alex was with the older man made it worse. Rarely had I seen Alex so loose and at ease, he tended to act more taciturn and shy. He preferred closing people off and gauging them from a distance. He wasn't unfriendly, but old habits die hard when you were used to having to guess if someone was friend or foe.

Now, when I looked up and saw Alex smiling so freely at Itachi, I wasn't sure how to take it. It was nice, seeing Alex relaxed and obviously not suffering with our…forced arrangements. But, I couldn't avoid feeling unnerved, too, because I couldn't see Alex growing close to Itachi as panning out well. Itachi stood to leave the table, murmuring an explanation about his father requiring his assistance in a meeting that day. Alex nodded his head in a goodbye. That should've been it, a simple, formal goodbye. I narrowed my eyes at the hand Itachi rested atop my brother's head before he left.

No, I didn't see any of it panning out well at all.

"Amaya," Mikoto started. She waited until I looked at her before continuing, "Sasuke should be in soon, I'm leaving this here for him. Please let him know it's here," she told me, before she sat a thick folder down near the sink.

"I'll make sure," I promised her. Jesus, not only did I look bad, I still sounded like someone who'd chain smoked for sixty years.

Mikoto followed her eldest son out, leaving the room in a peaceful quiet. I was too busy with my breakfast to worry about it, and it wasn't for a few minutes that Alex spoke to me. I found I'd rather enjoyed the silence. "He bit you."

I paused, spoon halfway between my bowl and my mouth. Alex was only stirring his food, meanwhile I'd inhaled half of mine already. The writhing in my stomach had morphed into an emptiness. I didn't know what to say to my brother, as his words weren't a question, but a statement, an accusation. All three of them could see Sasuke had bitten me.

"Did you…" Alex trailed off, uncomfortable, before he finished the question I was waiting to hear. "Did you let him, or did he…?" Alex didn't use the word "force" in his question, but I could hear it all the same.

I let my spoon drop a little too hard into the bowl. I regretted doing it when Alex flinched, but I didn't want to talk about it. Not about what had happened, not about Sasuke, not about anything. I didn't want to piece it together, I wanted to box it all up and burn it, leave it with the other ashes in my mind. Instead, I looked my brother in the eye, and I lied. "No. He didn't. Now, let it go, Alex."

A wave of suspicion washed over his face, preparing me for the event that he was going to do the exact opposite. I opened my mouth to repeat my wish for him to drop it, but before I could get a word out, my neck lit up with pain. Both of my hands shot for the mark, where I felt a throb pulse beneath my palm. I heard Alex say my name, but I couldn't get any words past the pained gasp still choked up in my throat. With all the willpower I could muster, I grit my teeth and swallowed it back, keeping one hand clapped over the wound as it continued to ache. The thought that it might be like that forever crept up in the torrent of other, equally panicky thoughts in my head.

It only lasted a moment. It was a long, breathless moment, but it quelled almost as soon as it had started. Shaking with adrenaline, I released the breath that had gotten stuck in my chest and blinked my eyes to clear the spots from them. As intense as it was, it'd been brief, but I was afraid to move and cause it to start again. I looked up at Alex to reassure him I was all right and it was nothing serious, but he was no longer looking at me. His expression had turned into something menacing and stone cold. For a second, I thought it was directed at me, but I saw he was looking past me, instead.

I turned to look over my shoulder to see Sasuke coming into the kitchen. He paused when he saw the two of us sitting at the table, but his initial surprise wore off fast, and he turned his gaze to me. "Did my mother leave a folder here?" he asked. He hadn't acknowledged Alex, nor the odious look my brother aimed directly at him. I nodded towards the counter that Mikoto had set the brown folder down on, struggling to ignore the murderous aura rolling off Alex. A tense silence fell over the room while Sasuke picked it up and began to sift through its contents, all the while Alex watched, looking every bit like he was going to hop the table and the counter to try and get to Sasuke.

I nudged my brother's leg beneath the table to distract his attention. Once he glanced at me, I shook my head at him. " _Don't say anything!"_ I mouthed at him. I didn't want to add "fight prevention" to my list of things to do that day. More than that, I couldn't let Alex hurt himself. I'd seen him fight, I knew better than anyone that he could take out a full-grown man if he really tried, but Sasuke wasn't any man.

Alex's lip curled with disdain, but he made no moves to argue. Relief sagged my shoulders. I wasn't sure how Sasuke would take it if Alex snapped at him, and I wasn't willing to find out. He might not do anything at all, considering Alex didn't—Alex wasn't—

Considering that Itachi oversaw Alex, Sasuke might just allow Itachi to handle it. I didn't believe that, though, not after seeing Sasuke's temper firsthand. I would rather not take the chance. Alex had a temper of his own, only unlike mine, his was calculated and sharp. If it clashed with Sasuke's, I didn't doubt it'd burn the whole place down.

As thick as the silence between us was, I was grateful to get the chance to finish the meal in peace, because it was starting to clear my head. I wouldn't be running up and down the stairs or anything, but at least I could make it up them without stopping to hold onto the railing for life.

Interrupting the tight silence, there was a sudden twinkling noise that rang throughout the house and echoed from further down the hall. My ears pinned down at the sudden sound, as did Alex's, and I straightened to look at Sasuke for answers. I was hoping he might tell us what it was, but all I saw was his back as he left the kitchen and turned to head for the front door. That'd been a doorbell? Had there been any neighboring houses nearby, they'd have heard the stupid thing.

Alex glanced sideways after Sasuke, waiting until he was out of earshot. I prepared myself for what my brother was about to say, but I don't think I could have been ready for what left his mouth. "He was watching you," Alex whispered, and though I wasn't looking at him, I could feel my brother's gaze boring into me. I tried to shrug the revelation off, but I didn't have any more guesses than Alex did.

"He was probably trying to make sure I wasn't about to keel over," I grumbled. Hopefully that was all, and he wasn't gauging to see if I was ready for him to feed again. Then I may really die.

Alex made a harsh sound somewhere between a scoff and a growl that grated my ears. "As if he gives a fuck. Give me your dish, I'll wash them. You look like you need to go back upstairs."

Upstairs sounded far away, and too stuffy, but I wasn't in the mood to argue with Alex, not when he started getting bossy. "Thanks," I handed off my bowl, "I'll make it up to you, once the bullshit wears off." I heard Alex snicker on my way out of the room. See, like I said, even after glimpsing death I was sarcastic, I was gonna be fine. I paused at the bottom of the staircase, considering my options, but my only real choice was to go back to the bedroom. The only three places I knew about in the house were that one, the kitchen, and the washroom. The latter two didn't have a good enough place to lie down, unless I wanted to face-plant on a counter top. Thus, I heaved a sigh and resigned myself to a trek up along with some boredom today. About halfway up the stairs, my ears pricked up, having caught the sound of an unfamiliar voice. I remembered the doorbell ringing and realized that, unfortunately, the guests must've stuck around. I'd come too far and wasn't about to head back downstairs to loiter in the kitchen, so I continued up. I mean, by technicality, this was my home, too. The closer I got to the top, the clearer the voices became.

"It's lovely to see you Sasuke, it's been such a long time!" a feminine voice gushed. The way Sasuke's name left her lips was softer, as if that alone earned reverence. They were in the corridor, so there went my chance of slipping back to Sasuke's room unseen. I turned the corner around the hall, and the sight of two young women greeted me, as well as Sasuke standing nearby, his jaw tight. The first was a tall, lissome blonde who had her hair tied back and her hands clasped in front of her. The smile on her face was anything but friendly—she didn't want to make only  _friends_.

The other woman was shorter, more compact, she had her rosette hair cut closer and choppier. She was busy with what looked like a journal, where she was scribbling something in quick strokes. "Yes, if only you'd gotten this finished sooner," she added in a clipped tone, her annoyance was blatant. An innate alarm sounded inside me—Sasuke wouldn't lose his temper, would he? She was obviously no slave, the pink-haired girl's clothes were noble, tailored, and it was clear she had no fear of him in her. He wouldn't put his hands on a noble woman, I had nothing to worry over, but it wasn't as if anyone could reach inside them and flip their worries to the 'off' switch. If they could, a lot more would get done, I bet.

True to what I'd (hoped) expected, Sasuke only sighed out a low, impatient sound. "I got it as fast as possible, now it's up to you and Hinata. Naruto and I did all we could," he said. I wasn't privy to what was going on, nor did I have much desire to be. Curiosity killed the cat, and I doubted satisfaction would be bringing me back. If what they were discussing was the thing that Sasuke had been working on the past while, it was both too stressful and too boring for me to bother asking. He'd been nothing but annoyed at every paper and every glance at his phone.

The smaller woman straightened and snapped the journal shut, the pen in her hand pointed at Sasuke's chest. "You two had better pray it's enough," she warned. "This treaty between us and Lumen is important, and Hinata is worried if it falls through that relations between your clans will suffer, too."

I flinched upon hearing "Lumen" leave Sasuke's mouth. A treaty with the city of light? Is that what Sasuke had been working so hard on the past few days? That was far greater than anything I could have assumed, no wonder the pair seemed so on edge. Before I realized how long I was standing there, eavesdropping, the blonde woman happened to glance to the side and caught me. It was too late for me to slip back behind the wall. Her eyes hardened, losing their supine glow, and turning into a suspicious scowl. "You, what are you doing! Lurking around corners and eavesdropping on personal conversations?"

My face warmed when she called me out, and all three sets of eyes turned to me. Sasuke cocked a brow at me, but when he didn't say anything, I realized he was awaiting an explanation as much as the women were. I didn't exactly have that. Why couldn't he have sent me back to the room instead, like I wanted for a change? "I–I wasn't trying to listen, I just needed to get past you," I began a shaky excuse. "I didn't know anyone else was up here." The more I tried to explain, the less it looked like it was helping. The blonde turned a scorned look to Sasuke.

"Who is she?" she asked, sounding like she had taken personal offense to my being there.

My pride stung a bit at that. She couldn't have asked me, just as well? Before Sasuke could open his mouth, I was the one providing the answer. "My name's Amaya, nice to meet—"

"I wasn't talking to you!" the blonde snapped, startling both myself and the pink haired girl, who gave her friend a look. Something told me it wasn't an uncommon part of the blonde's personality. Said woman turned her sharp gaze back to Sasuke, softening it into a patient smile. "Sasuke, who is this girl?" she repeated her question, melting her voice. I sure wasn't going to try again after that outburst, Sasuke could waste his breath.

I scrunched my nose in annoyance, both upset that the woman wouldn't let me talk, and now that my headache was starting to return from all the new excitement. Was it too much to ask to just go lie down? Sasuke cast a wry look towards me, erasing my hostile expression, and back towards his friend. "She's a slave. Itachi and I brought her and her brother here a few days ago," he cut his eyes at me, "and I believe she was lying about it being nice to meet you."

Was that a joke? Did I really live to hear the cold jerk's sense of humor, and it was sarcasm? I was so stunned, I hardly noticed the blonde girl's affronted look. She sniffed and lifted her chin to stare at me down her button nose. "I can see she's one of those inbred ibrida mutts," she snipped, "as ratty as they come."

I bristled. The comments about my race were growing redundant and old, couldn't someone use a little originality? I had plenty of flaws to point out aside from the one I couldn't help. My innate sense of pride bubbled forward. "I'm sorry not all of us can look like a grandmother's porcelain doll," I snapped, worsening the burgeoning ache in my head. Annoyance wasn't the greatest remedy for a migraine; noted. The woman, while stunning and royal, had an attitude that soured that enough that I felt the comment could still hold some traction.

A snort came from the pink haired girl, who covered her mouth in an attempt to stifle it. Sasuke turned his head away—which, at least he wasn't aiming a threat at me right about then, something I'd completely prepared for. I was sure he'd have plenty to give me later. I needed to start considering the costs of my words before I used them, but that insult felt worth it. A venomous look stormed over the blonde's face, clouding her good looks, and it was only then that it struck me; maybe Sasuke wasn't the only person who could throw a punch. Fortunately, the only thing the blonde threw were her words, but she could wield them well.

"You dare to disrespect a maiden? A pathetic slave like you doesn't deserve to be in our presence!" she snapped, furious. She called me the mutt, but she was acting more feral than most other ibrida I'd met. I was tempted to tell her that it wasn't, you know, my choice to be there in the first place, but I doubted she'd have cared. She only seemed to grow more annoyed whenever I opened my mouth.

"Ino," Sasuke said, snapping her attention to him almost before he'd even finished saying her name. I was thankful he'd put a stop to it before it had a chance to start. "You and Sakura are here to take the documents and get to work, not waste time." Well, I was less thankful for how he worded it.

The girl with pink hair, Sakura, secured the journal within her coat. She started to open her mouth, but Ino beat her to it, garnering a huff from Sakura at the interruption. "Oh, but Sasuke, you must be lonely out here," Ino cooed, as if Sasuke were much of a social butterfly. "What, with company like that? You could probably use the entertainment." It took me a moment to process the sultry purr in the word, to which my eyes widened, and Sakura's face paled at the insinuation. I doubted either of us wanted to be a part of the conversation anymore.

Sasuke's gaze flashed towards me—I thought it had, but it had happened so fast that by the time I looked at him, he was staring back at Ino. I shook off a shiver that trickled down my back. Her callous way of referring to me, like I was nothing but some sort of inconvenience, was gnawing on my last nerve. I'd dealt with enough of that commentary from Sasuke, why should I have to put up with it from anyone else? For fuck's sake, why couldn't people see past their own bigoted lenses? I didn't have to stand around and let everyone put me down like I wasn't deserving of humanity, god damn it!

"You know," I started, teeth grinding, "I'm not a 'that', I have a name. If you can't remember it, you can at least use 'she'," I finished in a growl. Surely that wasn't too much to ask. Sasuke wouldn't afford me that much, but taking it from everyone else—oh, my god. My rage goggles had made me forget there was an audience of two other people watching all that unfold, and Sasuke was among them. I couldn't even bring myself to face him and see what hell I'd brought on myself.

Right on cue, the blonde woman cupped her hand over her mouth and whirled towards Sasuke, her blonde ponytail whipping behind her. "Sasuke, you can't allow her to talk to me like that! Do something!" she implored, lacking the hostility she'd aimed at me only seconds ago. Had I not had other problems then, her ability to switch faces so quick would've impressed me. As things were, I was only impressed I was even still standing.

I took a step away, itching to creep back around the corner and escape downstairs, when Sasuke glanced at me, and froze me in my tracks. Exasperation colored his expression, preparing me for the oncoming storm. I swallowed my voice down in fear any bartering would make it worse, as much as I wanted to snarl at him that this, like the incident with his father, wasn't my fault. But, I was the pet, I was beneath Ino. It would always be my fault, wouldn't it?

Ino's eyes cut towards me as well, a satisfied smirk on her lips, but neither of us were prepared for Sasuke to turn on his heel and start to head away. My mouth fell open at the complete disregard, not only to my lashing out, but to Ino's plea. "I'll deal with her later," Sasuke brushed off, without even another glance back. "Sakura, before you leave, I want to discuss what intel you've picked up from that idiot spy—" Sasuke's voice trailed off as he walked down the corridor, still in the midst of the conversation I'd intruded upon. He wasn't going to allow anything to stand in the way of his duties, as he walked with the other woman, headed downstairs. He appeared closer to her than to the blonde, who looked aggrieved as she watched them head off. It provided me with the shallowest satisfaction.

Ino narrowed her eyes at me, straightened up, and smoothed out the front of her dress. It was all far too calculated, and I had a feeling I'd made an awful enemy without even trying. Well, I hadn't tried that hard. "I certainly hope you're good for something besides being an insolent little eyesore," she snapped, shoving past me on her way to follow her friends. The bedroom suddenly looked like it would be far too boring; besides, once Sasuke realized I had followed, I was sure he'd send me away, so might as well.

Ino, too, seemed to share the same belief. When I trailed behind her into the lounge room, she cast an expectant look towards Sasuke, her face smug as she waited for him to kick me out. I wouldn't have been that put out, but she made me want to dig my nails in the carpet and stay to be spiteful. Sasuke never spared either of us a look, he was so focused on what he was discussing with Sakura. Of course, he was aware I'd come along, there was no way to doubt that, but he didn't appear bothered by it. Not at all like Ino was, at any rate, who muttered a hateful insult my way. Her hatred stung some—I hadn't anyone to talk to aside from Sasuke, and the moments I had with my brother were too brief. I still couldn't understand why she was so disgusted; the only thing I'd done wrong was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I wasn't keeping Sasuke captive against his will and hiding him from her. It was his fault I was here, not mine. If she wanted him to herself, she could fucking have him, see if I cared. I was sick to death of people slinging their vitriol and abuse at me like I was nothing but an outlet.

I stormed out of the lounge room to head to the kitchen. A glass of water had miles more appeal than Ino's vilification, and I was hoping it'd ease my pounding head. Much to my chagrin, apparently following me to continue her vituperation was more appealing than staying and trying to weasel her way into the conversation with the others. I hadn't realized Ino had trailed behind me until I was already in the kitchen, and I heard her clear her throat. I almost crashed into the counter in my haste to turn around, my heart in my throat. "Do any of you make noise when you move?" I complained, now giving serious thought to proposing they wear bells so people could keep track. I was thinking that it might get a smile from her, but her scowl deepened. My stomach dropped and I winced, both in pain and dread.

"You will never be anything to him. All you are is a slave," she seethed, poison dripping from her words. "Don't fool yourself into thinking you're worth anything here." She held her head high, her pride and elegance further driving the words into my chest. She felt that way to the bottom of her heart. It struck me that there was nothing I could do to change that, to somehow soften her opinion, much less gain her friendship. Who the fuck was I kidding? I wasn't there to make friends. I shouldn't have even met her or the other girl, had I stayed where I should have.

If only she'd been privy to the enmity between Sasuke and I. She wouldn't feel any need at all to remind me how low I was on the ladder. How she could ever believe I was any hindrance to her was miles beyond me, and if she thought I was happy where I was, she needed a punch from reality. I don't know if she thought I was stealing time or attention away from her, or if she thought Sasuke was too good to ever have a slave. Either or, her privilege was showing, and it was cutting me. Steeling myself, I shrugged my shoulders, as careless as I could. "How could I be under such an impression?" I drawled, "I don't believe he's much of a fan of anything, you included." I was on thin ice, and any second it was about to break.

Ino's eyes rounded into owlish proportions and a shrill gasp jumped from her mouth, as if I'd told her the world was going to end and the last thing she'd see was going to be me. After days of taking all Sasuke's flagrant temper, all wrapped up with violence and censure from a man who used words as a warrior used weapons, I was strung to the breaking point. I couldn't halt my tongue, I couldn't swallow my temper, and when she opened her mouth again, it was the final straw. I couldn't do anything to Sasuke, but she was just so easy, she was  _right there_. She was determined to push me over the edge, to shatter my last ounce of self-control. How could anyone stand to have everyone around them take and take from them without giving anything back? Ino's lips parted, and out launched another tirade. "Don't you dare speak of him like you know anything about him, you—you  _whore_!"

"Crack!" The sound my fist made when it cracked across Ino's face filled the entire kitchen, but it didn't compare to the shriek that erupted from her mouth, screaming Sasuke's name for the entire country to hear. It was only once the ringing in my ears stopped that I realized the gravity of what I'd done. My eyes widened in horror and I yanked my arm away to back away from Ino, who was holding her face, crocodile tears welled in her eyes. What had I done? I'd just assaulted a noble woman, that crime carried extreme consequences in the streets. God only knew what would happen now that I was, quite literally, the property of a noble. It took me all of two seconds to decide what I should do. My brilliant plan? To run. I darted out of the kitchen, the burn of adrenaline scorching through my veins under the guise of panic. Fight or flight was a powerful reflex, and I'd already fought, thus my only other choice was to run, even without anywhere to go. It wasn't like I'd make it to the room upstairs and the problem would melt away, or that Sasuke couldn't get to me with terrible ease.

From the kitchen, I distantly heard Sakura asking Ino if she was all right, but I didn't hear Sasuke at all. For about two seconds, I thought that was a good thing—but all good things come to an end, and mine did when I crashed right into him.

I wasn't sure which hurt worse, the collision with his chest, or the floor when I careened off him. He did stumble back a step, leaving a glimpse that he wasn't such an immovable force, but that did nothing to alleviate the panic filling my lungs. The full weight of what I had done still hadn't landed, I was trying so hard to detach myself from the reality of what was about to happen. Three seconds of grim satisfaction, and for what? Because I couldn't control my temper? Because I let my heart run ahead of my brain? I don't get why people say running is good for your heart, it did too much of that on its own. The mark on my neck flared up with fresh pain, drawing a wince to cover my face. He could kill me for lashing out at a noble, I might never see Alex again, I'd be leaving him alone. I would never see freedom again, or get to experience so much of the world that I'd never gotten the chance to. Sasuke could kill me before I could even take a breath to beg him not to, and the reality of that had only sunk in then.

"Why did you hit her?" Sasuke asked, his voice too calm and steady for my liking. It was like waiting for that precise second for a bomb to go off. Tick, tock, tick, tock.

Stumbling over my words, I tried to decide if talking would even be worth the effort. It wasn't like it'd make that big a difference, no excuse would make up for my action. Still, it came pouring out anyway. "She was saying all these things, she just wouldn't shut up. She even followed me when I tried to ignore her annoying mouth!" I spat, still incredulous that, even though I'd tried walking away and leaving it alone, the situation had followed me. Sasuke wouldn't even give a damn, it was always going to be my fault. I didn't have a single person in my corner, here. Even with my brother living in the same house, I had never felt so alone. It was a sinking realization.

The corner of Sasuke's lips twitched up, but he continued with his cool, unwavering tone, as if he were talking to me about the weather, and not all the ways I had royally messed up. "Your inability to ignore her is no excuse for assaulting a maiden," he said. What had happened wasn't a banter between some kid and their schoolyard bully; Ino had taken my very existence and demeaned it. I had no choice in being here, and she wanted to make me feel like it was my fault, like it was a privilege. I hated what Sasuke was doing, like he was dragging out this conversation just for his own amusement.

I huffed out a bitter scoff. "Some maiden she is," I snapped, "she would have torn off your clothes on those stairs had you been alone. If she wants to call anyone a whore, it's—" I clicked my mouth shut before I could finish the sentence, but it was too late. Sasuke cocked an eyebrow down at me, finally getting a grasp on what exactly had happened.

"She insulted you and you lost your temper and hit her," Sasuke clarified, "you have terrible control over your anger."

Pot, meet kettle. I pointed a finger at him, sarcasm and disbelief warring to be the main tone in my voice. "You have no room to discuss anger management!"

Sasuke's lip curled in disapproval and he reached down, grabbed a fistful of my hair, and pulled me up and onto my knees. I cried out at the sudden pain—now I wasn't sure when I'd felt worse, this morning, or right now—but he paid it no heed.

"Watch your mouth," he warned, almost idly, "and get up, you're going to apologize." Sasuke let go of me long enough for me to get to my feet, albeit I was unsteady. The ground beneath me might as well have been a rushing river, for all the balance I had. As demeaning as apologizing to the woman felt, there were no better sounding alternatives. I dragged my feet behind Sasuke on the way back to the kitchen, where Ino was holding a damp washcloth to her reddened cheek. Sakura stood off to the side, her arms folded and appearing as unimpressed as I was. If only she had come alone, maybe today could've turned out to be good. At least she'd left me alone, that might be the best I could hope for.

Ino's eyes widened comically when she caught sight of me walking in behind Sasuke. She threw her arms around Sasuke in a loose embrace, clutching onto him. I stumbled back a step, both in surprise and to avoid her hitting me in her exuberance. "Sasuke, you can't keep this girl around! She's dangerous! What if she turns on you and hurts you?!" Ino exclaimed, hanging onto him. She spoke like she was protecting him, but I doubted she wasn't doing it for her own protection. A painful combination of wanting to laugh and nearly throwing up twisted in my gut. It would be a cold day in hell before I could ever land a hit on any vampire, much less Sasuke.

Sasuke was rigid as stone, his hand hovering above Ino's waist as she clung to him, but he didn't touch her. If anything, he looked entirely uncomfortable. My neck began to pulse with rhythmic pain, making it challenging to grit out a sincere apology. Her broken-up expression served to make the apology somewhat worth the waste of air, at least. Leaning forward, I bowed my head, keeping my hands clenched behind my back. "I'm sorry I struck you, Miss. It will never happen again."

The words tasted sour. Ino sniffed at me without accepting them, but I wasn't about to complain that she wasn't speaking to me. That was what had started this ordeal, and I was going to catch hell later. The apology was the tip of the iceberg, I was certain. Sasuke managed to push at Ino's waist so that she would untangle herself from him, though she pouted at the distance. She was through talking to me, but oh, not to him. With her eyes still glistening, she rested her hand on his chest. "She can't stay here, she's deranged! Filthy animals like her have no place with—"

"Ino," Sasuke's voice turned hard, causing a flinch both from Ino and from me. "That's enough. I think it's time to finish things up."

Ino stared at him in awe for a moment, gaping, but she scrambled to collect herself and traipse along his side when he turned to head back to the lounge with Sakura. It was dutiful, chagrined, as she lacked the cheerfulness she had earlier. I didn't dare follow again; I watched Sasuke go, my eyes boring into his back until he was out of sight. He'd just stopped her from insulting me—hadn't he? Or was he only shutting her up because he was annoyed?

I stormed up the stairs to stow myself away, eager to escape from any other possible trouble. Of course. He'd only stopped her so he wouldn't have to put up with it, anymore. He wouldn't do anything for my benefit, he'd made it abundantly clear what I was to him. Now he had the audacity to pretend? After a moment of softness, of leading me to believe things might not have to be awful, he would revert to insouciance or worse, aggression. I had no way to anticipate what might come, Sasuke was too unpredictable, he was too much of a storm.

I hated him.

I hated his brash and volatile personality, I hated his dehumanizing words, I hated him for the torrent my life had turned into, and I hated that smug, humored smirk. I hated how his hands, so hard and unrelenting, could change into something gentle. I hated those eyes of his, the spark of stubborn pride in them, the way that the cold lake of onyx cracked to reveal something warmer underneath. I hated the throb in my neck, the ache that felt empty and reaching for something I couldn't understand.

I  _hated_.

My hands itched to pummel something, to tear my frustration out and paint the walls with it, but I was stuck in this house with nothing to feed my anger into. I could give the walls a punch or two, but the ensuing fallout after that would be enough to level the city. I looked at Sasuke's desk then, where sheets of blank paper and fountain pens called out to me. My hands itched with something new, something I hadn't gotten the chance to do in such a long time. Violence wasn't the only way to exude emotion, it was only the easiest. There was no way Sasuke would miss one or two sheets of paper, would he? If he did, he could go chop his own tree and make more of the damn stuff.

I took a seat at the desk and reached for a pen. The way the ink soaked into the paper, forming loopy letters that burgeoned into sentences, it filled me with a deep-rooted contentment. I wasn't reading what I wrote, I only kept going; they weren't coming from my head, but my heart. My mother was the one who found a way to curb my temper; she said writing out your feelings was better than lashing out at the world with them. You might hurt yourself or someone else, but writing never hurt anyone. I could expel my everything onto the paper and it would soak it up, as pleased as could be. Plus, a paper couldn't lash out, no matter what you told it.

I don't know how long I sat at the desk, scrawling my anger out. I was too lost to hear the door opening. In fact, had Sasuke not been so close to me when he spoke, I may not have heard him at all. "I'm surprised you know how to hold a pen," he derided, but it lacked the malevolence I was used to hearing him talk with.

I started and dropped the pen. From behind me, I heard Sasuke chuckle. I exhaled a long sigh and, solely for the spite, reached for the pen and twirled it in my fingers. "The 'sneaking up on me' bit is getting a little dry, isn't it?" I asked, leaning a little over the paper so he wouldn't try and look at it. Unfortunately, that might've enticed his curiosity, because he reached down and pulled the paper out of my shadow to get a better look at it. The several seconds of silence, complete with me ducking my head and awaiting either a lecture or a mocking scoff, were unbearable. See? That was why I'd been so hesitant to take a book off the shelves; I didn't hear him coming, and it was too late to hide what I was doing. It was the last thing I wanted anyone to condescend.

Finally, to my immense gratitude, Sasuke pulled away from the paper. I was going to snatch it back when he spoke. "That's not bad."

There was a pause, where I was waiting for him to tack on an additional "for a slave" or something along those lines, but it never came. Cerise rose onto my cheeks as I reached to pull the paper back. I wasn't sure how to handle a compliment from Sasuke. "I used to write when I was little," I explained. What came over me that drove me to share that with him was beyond me, but it was already out. He acted like he never remembered my name, so it was probable he wouldn't remember that, either. "I guess it's still in me."

Sasuke leaned on the desk, looking down at the paper, still. "Why did you pick up writing?" he asked, and although there was some incredulity in it, like  _that hobby, out of all of them_? there was also genuine curiosity. His question sent me reeling for a moment; it was the first time he'd asked anything about me. I hadn't thought of having a conversation like this with him, it'd never struck me that he would ever be interested. It was the closest to normalcy I'd had in days, and it startled me to find out how much I craved that.

I leaned my chin onto my palm so I could look up at him. "My mother put a journal and pencil in my hand and I never put it down," I admitted. "She said it was the best outlet for your feelings. Whether you were angry, or sad, or even had good news to share. A paper would always be around to share it with. She thought it'd be a good outlet for me," I shrugged. "I used to be a bit of a temperamental child," I shared a wry smirk with Sasuke, who could make use of an outlet, himself. And no, I didn't count. His lips curved in return, less of a smirk and more of a lazy smile that threatened to chase heat onto my face again.

"It suits you," he told me. I glanced at the paper with a fond look, both for the hobby itself and of the memory of my mother saying something similar to me, a long time ago.

I felt a sudden greed to know something about Sasuke, too. If I could share something about myself, I wanted him to impart something. It was a two-way street. At least, I hoped, and we weren't two cars about to collide, because we had done enough of that. I was tired. "What about you, you must have something you enjoy doing, aside from all that work?" I ventured. It was an impulsive question, but still, it was only fair. I also managed to avoid tacking on "and violence" at the end, too.

Sasuke appeared startled by my inquiry, and I believed he might denounce it and end the conversation right there. I was disgusted with myself at the disappointment I felt, but after a beat, his expression softened some. With his gaze turned out the window, he shrugged with a nonchalance that bothered me. I don't know why it bothered me, but it did, to see someone's lack of passion. Even I had one, Alex had one, most people I knew had something they were passionate about. Seeing Sasuke lacking that pulled at something in me, and spilled color over the black and white I'd tried so hard to preserve. "I've never had the time for something like that," he eventually said, speaking softly enough that I nearly missed it. My brows furrowed, but he continued. "I suppose training and sparring counts. It keeps me busy." He shrugged once he finished, listless and unaware of my perturbation. That was it, for someone still so young? Fighting? Was that all Sasuke had done, his entire life?

Was that why those rumors about he and Itachi existed?

The distant ambiguity of Sasuke's voice reached deep inside me, an aching familiarity that made me sag in the chair with the weight. "It keeps your mind off things," I added for him, so he wouldn't have to. I doubted he would've, to begin with. That was why I wrote; it was an escape from your head, your thoughts, and everything that was crashing and burning around you. I'd wanted to pretend I was the only one who felt that. We were both guilty of that much. Sasuke stiffened and wrest his gaze from the window to stare at me. The warmth was there, past the frosted black glass of his eyes. It was starting to bleed through, like light filtering through the dense forest.

With a slow nod, Sasuke answered, "I suppose."

It was the first time we'd spoken to one another, not shouting with anger or defense. That was a huge step of progress, but with progress came some exhaustion, at times. Especially when you, unwittingly or not, were fighting progress so hard. A smile rose onto my lips. Sasuke's eyes remained on me for another moment before he tore it away and pushed off the desk, clearly escaping the conversation. I watched him leave, the silence I sat in both comfortable and leaving my chest bubbling with anxiety. I felt like I was sinking, drowning.

I wish drowning hurt.


	6. Chapter 6

"What have you got, Alex?" Itachi's voice broke me from my ardent examination of the camera I'd found. It looked old, I bet it wouldn't even take photographs anymore, but it was still interesting enough to mess with. Photography had always looked like such an interesting hobby to me, especially whenever my parents or sister had let me sit down with magazines and cut out all the pictures I liked best. Imagine going to all those exotic or dangerous places, meeting tons of unique people or wild animals, and getting to take photographs to make those moments permanent.

You could show the rest of the world where you've been and what you've seen, it was a modern superpower. I held my hands up to show Itachi the camera, wearing a sheepish grin on my face. He normally didn't mind my curious venturing through the house; what, with him mostly gone, I had little else to do aside from explore and read the plethora of books Itachi had in his room. While I could spend days plastered to a good book, even I could get restless.

That was why I was pretty confident about having gotten the layout of the house down. For me, it was easy skulking around and escaping unnoticed, but there were hardly any people around this place to worry about. I'd seen Itachi and his family here, and aside from the occasional guest, it was empty. It was eerie, thinking of the giant place only having a small handful of occupants. It made for way less answers whenever I heard a weird sound late at night, though Itachi reassured it was only the walls settling.

Coming closer, Itachi took the camera from my hands and turned it over to get a better look at it. "I don't believe it's in working order," he mused with a smirk, "but perhaps we could find something for you to actually take pictures with." He looked so sincere as he said it, that even my initial spike of doubt didn't gain much traction.

My ears pricked up with interest. "You think so?" I asked, perking up at the thought of a real, working camera. I'd never been able to afford one, and even if I had, it would still cost money for film and such. When my sister and I hadn't even had access to the simplest of basics for several years, something as extravagant as a camera felt as exciting (and frivolous) as a car. Itachi reached out and pushed his fingers through my hair, brushing it out of my face. It was a benign action, so much so that the heat threatening to rise to my cheeks was borderline ridiculous. It wasn't the first time he'd done it, and in fact, it was becoming something common. I didn't mind it. If anything, I found a sense of normalcy and comfort in it. Both were such a rarity in my life that it was hard not to want to cling to them while they lasted, because as calm as things were now, I couldn't help but feel it was fleeting. Good things could only last so long; as could the bad. If I'd learned one thing as an orphan, as a vagabond, it was that nothing was forever.

"Of course," Itachi said, "you need something to keep you busy, you'll grow bored of those books someday." A good-natured chuckle punctuated his statement when I cast a glance towards the bookcase, where I'd greedily pored over the many titles. I was an avid reader, and couldn't begin to recall how many days I'd spent cooped up inside libraries. The people there were nice, and they didn't kick people out for staying a while. It was the best place during winter or rainy days. Since becoming a part of this home, I'd spent most of my time either reading or slinking about the house to explore it. Itachi was so often out, busy with his work and family, what else was I going to do? My sister seldom came out the first few days, and even though I'd seen her presence increasing, she could never stay with me for long. That asshole always had something for her to do, or something to grow angry with her over.

A well of guilt opened inside me, then, reminding me of how awful I was for feeling so happy and comfortable here. I couldn't help it. I couldn't even remember when food was so easy to come by, nor the last time I'd slept in a real, warm, clean bed that wasn't covered in bed bugs or at least six other people trying to cram into it. I felt safer here than I had since I was a child, and that was shameful. I wasn't a guest here, and I knew that…Amaya had warned me about that. I was a slave, property, regardless of how gentle Itachi acted or how warm his smile was when he looked at me. It was purely pacifism. It was my fault that I saw it in any other light; I guess once you got so used to people treating you like trash, someone's kindness seemed like the greatest gift. I should be embarrassed for believing for a second Itachi would ever feel anything aside from pity for me—that was probably why he wasted so much kindness on me at all, he felt sorry for me.

If only he felt sorry for my sister, too. It wasn't fair for me to feel so content and wish to stay here, wish that for once, things would work out, when my sister was dealing with a very different person. If I could get my hands on Sasuke, he'd never lay his hands on Amaya again.

Itachi withdrew his hand and cleared his throat, reclaiming my attention. "Speaking of busy," he started, with a weary look towards the door to his room, "I have some…company arriving soon. You're welcome to stay, it's nothing too serious, but I have to warn that they can be a bit intense."

Intense had too many connotations for me to not be somewhat hesitant, but curiosity tended to win out over my inhibitions. "I'm used to a little intensity," I replied dryly. Itachi's immediate smirk told me he'd caught on to who I meant. I guess he was familiar with it, too. As much as I hated his brother, they seemed as unbreakable as Amaya and I were. At first, that had been a point of suspicion; would Itachi turn out like Sasuke? Now, though, it was a different aspect of suspicion. One that led me to force myself to question if Sasuke had something good in him, too. I sneered at the thought, but...as I'd shared with my sister, I wasn't sure I could view anything in black and white anymore. "Are they friends of yours, or is this a business visit? Because I'd hate to be in your way," I said, fiddling with a string that had come undone from my sleeve.

Itachi pressed two fingers to his temple with a low sigh. "A little of both. They're friends, but they're only coming to drop something off," he explained, "they shouldn't be here long." He didn't sound too enthused, for him to call them friends.

Right after he'd finished, as if on cue, I could hear the dainty dinging of the doorbell. Privately, I thought that any company of Itachi's couldn't be that bad, considering how mellow he was himself. Of course, that could also prove to be an erroneous assumption that would get me punched with surprise. Itachi set the old camera down and beckoned me to follow him as he headed out of the room we shared. I trailed some ways behind him when he neared the door, skeptical of exactly what I had agreed to. I hadn't ever been that great with people, much less nobles, who had so many etiquette rules that I'd never remember them all. I had picked a couple of things up from Itachi by watching or listening to him, and it wasn't as if I was some sort of barbarian, but...even before losing my parents, we hadn't been of the higher class by any means.

A hand on my shoulder made me start some, and I looked up to find Itachi looking down at me with a reassuring smile that made the anxious butterflies in my stomach wane. "Try to relax, they aren't worth your nerves."

I covered my mouth to hide a snicker, "I'll try." The fact that it was easy for Itachi to drag his friends like that spoke volumes for me to calm down a little. They weren't there to see or talk to me, anyway, so I had no standards to uphold, now did I? Nonetheless, I still stayed behind him when he went to open the door. Behind it stood two men; the first was leaning against the entryway with his shoulder, his blond hair tied half up to keep it out of his way. The other stood with his arms crossed, looking every bit like it was the last place he wanted to be. Around his neck hung a silver pendant, shaped into a symbol that was unfamiliar to me. It looked like a circle with another shape carved inside of it, but the man moved before I could get a better look, and barged inside.

"I don't have time for any bullshit pleasantries," he grumbled. "Let's get this out of the way fast. Kakuzu's gonna have my fuckin' head on a pike if I'm late." I could feel my eyes widening at the litany of expletives that littered the man's language, too stunned to properly react at first. In three seconds, the guy had shattered my perception of what nobles had to be; prim and polite, and, you know, able to talk without a swear every other word.

Behind him, the blond snorted and rolled his eyes, following his friend inside. "As if you've ever cared about pissing him off, yeah." The blond man held a brown folder in his hands, something that I was sure should make it look inconspicuous actually made me think there was something important hidden in it. Maybe that was the problem when something became commonplace like that; brown folders made things look suspicious instead of benign. For half a second, I forgot my anxieties amid my surprise. They came flooding back when the blond turned towards me. His visible eye narrowed, but I couldn't see his other one behind the curtain of hair he had in front of his face. "Who's this kid, Itachi?"

I narrowed my eyes when he called me a kid. "Name's Alex,  _kid_ ," I answered instead of Itachi. The other man didn't look any older than I, maybe around one or two years, not enough to count. Even Itachi was only a few years older, about six.

The other man let out a raucous laugh at that, and from the corners of my eyes, I thought I saw Itachi turning his face to hide a smile of his own. The blond's lips pulled back in a sneer, I briefly expected an upcoming argument. But, soon his expression broke and he started to snicker. "Trust a kid to have a childish response, yeah," he teased, putting one hand on his hip.

"Deidara, don't antagonize. He's…new here," Itachi explained, struggling to tiptoe around the circumstances of why, exactly, I was there. I couldn't fault Itachi for that, I wasn't keen on revealing them, either. It ended up not making a difference either way.

"You finally got a slave, huh? Didn't think I'd see the fuckin' day," the man with the pendant approached me and reached out, towards my ears.

I winced when he flicked at one of them, and before I could stop myself, I'd knocked his hand away from me. "Hands off, asshole," I snapped, my ear still stinging from the sudden flick. The ears of most ibrida were sensitive and I doubted anyone appreciated having some stranger flick at them. I had an abrupt moment of realization that made me look towards Itachi to gauge his reaction, if I had gone too far, but he didn't appear to look fazed in the least. If anything, he looked more amused than anything else. It was another part of our odd set up that I'd yet to get used to. I wasn't naive, I knew that most servants or pets lived with strict rules and few rights. Sasuke himself had demonstrated as much, but Itachi wasn't the same. He'd not once corrected or remonstrated me for my behavior.

Beside me, the vulgar man retracted his hand. "Fucking cat," he hissed, "shits like you belong on a leash."

I lifted my chin and pinned a glower on him, but Itachi put a stop to the absolute hell brimming at my lips. "I didn't say that, Hidan," Itachi sighed. "You can save your insults for Kakuzu. Leave Alex alone," he warned, and a well of warmth bubbled inside me at hearing Itachi take the time to defend me.

Hidan muttered a few choice words under his breath. "You think I don't know a fuckin' slave?" he asked, "where the hell did you get him, that big shithole where the richest fucks go to spend their money?" Hidan crossed his arms over his chest, the more he spoke the more I could feel the sidewalk outside bursting into flames. I bet even my sister would've gotten appalled at this guy's mouth.

Itachi didn't seem fond of it either, but he didn't castigate Hidan for it. I doubt the man would have listened, had Itachi bothered. "If you must put it that crudely, yes," Itachi admitted. "After my father's incessance, I agreed to visit. After seeing Alex and his sister, Sasuke and I couldn't leave them there."

I felt out of place listening to Itachi share that story. I'd never heard him say why, precisely, he had chosen to purchase me out of all the people in that horrible place. After hearing that fraction of the reason, I was aching to ask more about it, but I couldn't with everyone else there. I wasn't certain I wanted to know, maybe it was something better left unspoken, but I couldn't deny my curiosity. The way Itachi had worded it only made my hunger to know even greater; they  _couldn't_  leave us there? Why? Was that the pity I'd waited to hear?

Deidara came closer to me, giving me a once over. With one hand, he reached to shove his fringe away from his face. The sight of the eye-patch covering his left eye made me cough on a gasp, struggling to swallow it back. "He's not bad, un. Where's the girl at?" Deidara, too, went to touch my ears. Or so I thought, he stopped short of them and picked up a lock of my hair. "Interesting color. You don't see many ibrida around these parts, yeah."

My jaw clenched. "We aren't from here. But, you know, a lot of shit happens when you get picked up by some asshole slave hunter," I commented, my voice wry and saturated with sarcasm. I couldn't tell if I liked Deidara or not, there was an inherent charm about him, but also something that acted like a barrier. It was like he had a surface that hid most of him from face value. Deidara cracked a smirk at what I'd said, and off to the side, I heard what sounded like a bitter scoff from Hidan.

Itachi came to stand beside me, his shoulder close enough to nudge against mine. "The girl is with Sasuke, most likely. They're…still getting used to each other," Itachi explained, hesitating in the middle before weaving in a light version of the explanation. Sourly, my tail flicked behind me in ireful twitches.

"That's a riot. Now, hurry up and let's get this shit out of the way so Uchiha can get back to his cat," Hidan snapped, nudging Deidara forward to head to Itachi's study. I waited until the pair were gone before huffing out a stunned laugh. That...could have gone worse, I guess? At least I hadn't made any enemies, today.

"You keep strange company," I muttered to Itachi. He hummed and wrapped an arm around my shoulders to give me a small squeeze.

"Not all of it. You did well," he praised. "I'm sorry for the way they spoke to you. I know none of this is ideal, but I'm glad you two are here instead of still stuck there."

Yeah, so am I, that's part of the problem.

* * *

_Everything hurts. No matter how I move, I can't ease the ache traversing through my body in cold pangs. My wrists and ankles both are bloody, bruised messes, shredded by the tight steel manacles that continue digging deeper into my flesh to ensure I can't escape. With each breath, my lungs fill with sharp pinpricks and it makes me try and hold my breath to avoid the pain. It only leads to me gasping for each breath, desperate to avoid both the stabbing pains and the crushing burn of suffocation. I can't catch my breath anymore, I'm gasping and hiccupping and I can taste salt on my open lips._

_From beside me, I hear muffled voices speaking words I can't understand. They make no sense and hold no value to me. The sound of glass clinking sticks out through the clamor, and I try to focus enough to pick apart what's happening around me, but I can't get my mind to cooperate with me. Every time I try to concentrate, I feel sleepier and sleepier. A sudden pain erupts in my arm as a needle pierces into my flesh, and the next exhale that leaves me is a scream. The tiny pinpricks in my lungs burst into a wildfire of agony. From the injection site, a scalding pain spreads up my arm and bleeds throughout the rest of my shivering body._

" _Quit your squirming," a grating female voice snaps. My back arches off the metal table in a frantic attempt to escape the torture wracking my small body, but it's all in futility. A shadow consumes the light above me, and I want to open my eyes to find the source, but try as I might, they remain welded shut._

_A waxen, icy hand touches my forehead, smoothing my hair away from where it had stuck to my skin with sweat. The action itself, something comforting to me usually, feels threatening and damning. I flinch away from the touch. Above me, a sharp, under-the-breath sounding laugh sounds strikingly clear amongst the haze of everything else. "There's no need for this, my dear. It will be over soon," a sanguine voice whispers, casting a blanket of dread across my prone body. It speaks again, but this time, not to me. "Is she ready?"_

_Ready for what? I hear no response, but the hand moves away. A nauseating paroxysm of relief and foreboding boils in my belly. For several chest-tightening seconds, everything was silent and still. A quiet, unassuming "click" from up ahead of me, behind the table, makes my ears prick in alarm. In the aftermath of that click, a blinding, white-hot pain engulfs me whole. It feels like my bones and nerves are shattering inside of me, tearing me apart from the inside out and leaving my insides a wasteland of agony and shards. A scream launches from my throat, scraping against the dry soreness from days without water._

_My brain erupts with memories and understanding, supplying me with so many things I want to forget. The injection was to keep my heart steady, it will prevent it from bursting in my chest as the bolts of electricity travel through my body, generated and passing through the wires strapped across my skin. I can't keep doing this, my body can't handle this anymore! They're killing me, you're killing me!_

_No one answers my screaming. No one here cares, none of them see me as alive. I'm expendable, a weapon, a conductor, and they are all starving for power. To everyone in this room, I'm an experiment._

_I am not a person._

* * *

Phantom pain ghosted beneath my skin when I awoke, a gasp still in my chest. The sheets stuck to my skin, where a cold sweat shone over it. Seldom was I in the dream like that, so active and vivid; most of my dreams were like watching everything unfold. I felt helpless in those dreams, unable to prevent or help those I was watching, but in that dream, there were no little children or faceless figures. There was only me, strapped to that frigid, unforgiving table. And that voice, that horrible voice that twisted deep into my head...

I sat up from my spot in the window-seat, where I'd come to favor falling asleep. I hadn't slept in the bed since that night over a week ago, when Sasuke had taken from me. I was too wary to ask, and far too anxious to try just crawling in. Sasuke was almost never in the room, but he was in and out enough to notice my presence in the bed, and getting woken by someone kicking me out of a bed was on my list of "worst ways to wake up" by far. It wasn't like I would be disrupting him, Sasuke himself hadn't slept in the room in the whole time I'd lived here. I was itching to ask him if he even required sleep the way most did. Or, I wondered if he slept so little that I didn't notice it at all.

In the course of the past several days which, when I stopped to consider, was but a meager week (plus half a day), felt like a much longer stretch of time. The contention between Sasuke and I had dwindled into a somewhat quiet sense of acceptance; we couldn't rid ourselves of each other, after all, so we had to learn to tolerate. Sasuke could have gotten rid of me, I suppose, if it had come down to it. But, I didn't believe he had gotten me out of his own volition in the first place, so I doubted he'd get rid of me that easily, too. I'd resigned myself for now, largely because of Alex. He looked so healthy, so content here, in a bubble of comfort that seemed so basic to most. It was a luxury to my brother, and if I had to steel myself and learn to live with Sasuke and what else had befallen my brother and I, I was going to, just to keep Alex safe and comfortable. As unfortunate as it was, he'd gotten attached to Itachi, who seemed to enjoy indulging Alex, too.

I still felt bothered by that, but I couldn't tear away something that bestowed Alex any sort of ease. What was I going to do, drag him away from a place that kept him fed, clothed, and sheltered? All for my own selfish reasons? I had done a lot of things wrong, but if I could make up for any of it by providing Alex with that much, I was damn sure going to. Itachi kept him safe, comfortable, and more than that, happy. I'd only had hopes for the former, the latter two were something from a very graceful god. I could only hope that Alex wouldn't allow his heart ahead of his head. Itachi was older, a noble, people like Itachi had lines of potential arranged marriages to sift through. His parents would likely wed him to a woman from Lumen, if he were lucky to marry within the country at all, but that might not bring as much benefit. To people like that, they viewed marriage and relationships as a financial and political obligation, not an emotional one. If Itachi were ever caught with my brother, his own slave and someone outside of his race…I shuddered to think of what would happen.

It just wasn't how things worked.

I was getting way too far ahead of myself, but after seeing the way Alex looked at Itachi, and the way Itachi smiled at Alex... It was hard for me not to fear the worst. As a child, my mother would read me fairy tales from a leather-bound book, with golden pages that whispered when you turned them. I could remember thinking about how much fun it would be to live in a castle or palace, like the exorbitant homes described in the many stories. I wanted grandeur and excitement, as any curious and imaginative child wanted. Never did I think anything like that would happen—had I, I might not have wished so hard—and I certainly didn't think it would turn out to be such a deceptive lie. I didn't yet know that the world functioned so oppositely of books; that instead of marrying or saving the world to get into a castle, you got kidnapped. Instead of a prince or princess who treated you like you hung the stars, it was someone who treated you like an animal, someone who confused you. Someone whose smile could send a shudder down your back, and sometimes, you didn't know which emotion it was due to.

My life no longer had any rhyme or reason. I felt trapped in an hourglass; one moment I was standing upright, unsteady and sinking, but with a clear view. The next, I was tumbling upside down and my entire view was changing, an ocean of sand dumping on top of me and leaving me crushed by everything. It was chaos. Even when all I'd known for so long was chaos, everything here was a new extent. For so many years, I'd taken care of myself, of Alex. After breaking out of the place that scarred us and so many other children, we landed on a path that only left more marks and carried several other hollow people on it. I'd thought I was immune to getting shaken, but I was beginning to think I wasn't as strong as I'd believed. Sasuke was starting to make me doubt myself, my head, and a lot of what I had ingrained into it. I was starting to question the way stories always seemed to work out; could you hate someone so much, it just started to come full circle?

A sudden voice broke into my thoughts and snapped me from my inner conflict. Good thing, too. That wasn't a road I was yet willing to step foot onto, if ever. It was far too foggy, and I was lost enough.

"Are you all right?" Sasuke asked. With a start, I looked up at him, as I hadn't heard him coming into the room. Trust the plague of my thoughts to manifest at the most inopportune of times, right? I hurried to nod my head before he thought I was ignoring him. Sasuke cocked a dubious brow at me, and I thought he might press further, but to my relief, he turned back to the bookcase. I watched him as he searched for something amongst the several leather binds; the way his slim fingers grazed along the spines of the books, the way his brow furrowed in concentration or his mouth in annoyance. Sasuke was, tragically, a vampire, and vampires tended to be beautiful. Greater the tragedy that other people saw them as such.

"Is there a reason you're staring at me?" Sasuke asked, amusement lining his voice. I blinked out of my daze to realize that he had turned away from the bookcase and was now facing me, and all I'd done was continue to watch him, lost in my own head.

Chagrined, I reached to rub the back of my neck. "Why does it have to be you?" I asked, delving face-first into a lie that was about as thin as a cotton slip. "I'm more interested in that bookcase." Well, that part wasn't a lie. The words on the covers leaped out at me every time I sat in front of the wooden shelves, but I'd still not grown bold enough to take any out. It'd be my luck that Sasuke come back to the room, see, and smack it out of my hands. We had made progress, but I was afraid of losing it all. I wanted to ease into things. Sasuke reminded me of a cagey animal that I needed to be cautious with, and to help understand what was happening.

Taken aback for a second, Sasuke's eyes widened a fraction as he cast a glance between me and the bookcase, considering. It only took him half a second to reach a verdict, but for me, it felt like waiting on what I feared would be another derogatory jab. I'd come to expect them so much that anything else had become jarring—so you can imagine how ground-breaking it felt when Sasuke raised his hand and beckoned me towards the shelves. "Then why are you just sitting and staring at it?"

My ears pricked up when I realized the explicit permission so perfectly presented to me. I hardly even cared about his dry comment. I'd all but bounced off the bed and almost directly to the bookcase before Sasuke could second guess his decision, or get another word out. Greedily, I skimmed my fingers across the books, taking in each of them. Some were pristine and didn't appear to have gotten picked up in some time; others were worn, with tiny nicks in the covers. "I've only seen bookcases like this in a library," I said, my mouth running away with my excitement before my brain could smash it into the pavement again. That was turning out to be a running issue with Sasuke. As I said, he wasn't that hard to talk to when he wasn't spouting off vitriol, which was happening less as of late. It was a rocky road, but that was a monumental step up from the beginning, where I'd compare it more to trying to walk sideways up a crevasse.

Selecting a book with maroon-colored leather, I tugged it from its home between two other books and drew it close. It was somewhere in the middle of looking unweathered, but well-read, with some of the pages looking like they'd gotten dog-eared. "I used to teach Alex, in a couple of the libraries over the years," I smiled at the memory. "They'd let kids sit and pore over books of all kinds."

Sasuke was quiet while I talked, something I wasn't sure was good or bad, until I felt his shoulder brush against mine. He was looking over my shoulder to look at the book I'd chosen. Soon, he ventured a hesitant question. "Which ones did you favor?" It was such a harmless question, something so inconsequential to some. To me, though, it represented the steps towards a fragile understanding that I was working so hard towards. And, it would seem, so was Sasuke.

I mulled the question over, along with my surprise that he'd have any interest, but I reminded myself this wasn't his first cautious question. Every time he spoke to me, it was either with tight annoyance or uncertain curiosity. I had to ask myself if I was the only one who felt so confused and jarred by the mess we were both stuck in. Had I not feared the answer, I wanted to ask him why he'd chosen to take in a personal slave at all, considering he hadn't seemed to want that in the first place. I feared that his father had played a huge role in it, and that man wasn't someone I wanted to permeate my thoughts for any length. My stomach churned at the mere mention.

"I like fantasy best, I think," I confided, stroking my thumb reverently over the book cover. "Fairy tales used to be the only stuff I read, and then when I grew older I graduated to some darker themes, but I never left the side of dragons and magic."

I smiled, and it was then that I noticed that the tension usually coiling my muscles tight wasn't present. I felt relaxed, despite Sasuke's presence, and despite how close he was. I couldn't say I wasn't waiting for the switch to flip and for his gentle demeanor to fall through the floor, but for the time being…I was comfortable, almost happy. Maybe I was genuinely happy, but too afraid to admit it. "Reading is one of the best vices. You can sink into any story and make it your own for a while, right?" I glanced behind me to catch a glimpse of Sasuke's eyes locked onto me, but he was quick to turn them to the bookcase. My shoulders sagged some.

"Why do you think I have so many?" he asked, and a rare smile graced his lips. However small it was, it was still a smile; one without any cold or secretive undertones, and it was beautiful. The mark on my neck twinged suddenly, making me reach up, but I wasn't brave enough to do anything but skim my fingertips across it. It had grown less painful, leading me to believe it was healing, but the spot still acted up occasionally, and I doubted the scar would ever go away. Sasuke had made no moves to drink from me since the first time. After allowing myself to look back at that night, I believed he'd been starving. His behavior reminded me of the desperate hunger I'd seen in wild animals, and even some people. Hunger did horrible things, I was no stranger to that. Not that I'd ever gotten confronted by the hunger of a vampire who'd gone too long without feeding, but that feral, purely carnal behavior hadn't exhibited itself again. I hoped it never would, not only for my sake, but Sasuke's as well.

Empathy felt like a mistress to me, after having sunk into my malaise for so long.

The cool, careful brush of fingers against my throat made me flinch. Sasuke slowed, but he didn't pull his hand back. With gentle caution, he stroked his index finger across the scar, the softest he'd ever touched me. "Does it…still hurt?" he asked, his voice catching some on hesitation.

Sasuke's concern manifested in such a cautious question was…unnerving, but equally comforting, and that only succeeded in making it more unnerving. It felt verboten, for a master to share concern in a servant, a pet, someone so beneath them. The walls between Sasuke and I were strong, and they were many, but I thought I could hear cracks making their way through the stone. On the side where the mark wasn't, I shrugged my shoulder. "It's sore," I said, "but it doesn't hurt much now." In fact, I was more upset with the arbitrary bouts where it would ache or burn; it wasn't quite painful so much as it was confusing and agitating.

Sasuke made a considering sound before he withdrew his hand, abandoning the gentle touch that I missed almost as soon as it was gone. The soft side of him was a stranger, but in that unfamiliarity, I felt an ease. I felt like this was more revealing of Sasuke's personality than the abrasive front he so often wore. As his hand pulled away, I thought to ask, "will it ever heal?"

It was a silly question, sure, but I was so curious. Did the marks scar for everyone, or did it take continuous use? Sasuke, too, appeared taken aback by my question, as if I'd forced him to think about something he hadn't yet. With a shift of his weight, Sasuke averted his gaze. It was funny, now that I thought about it, it was Sasuke who now had trouble meeting my eyes. "No, yours won't."

Well, I'd suspected as much, but–wait, mine? "Only mine—?" I'd started to ask Sasuke for further clarification, because yours? Had others healed over time, and they weren't left to cope with the odd after effects? But, Sasuke was already gone, leaving his answer lingering in the air and my curiosity a hot coal in my chest. Right when I thought we were getting somewhere, however minuscule the progress, one of us took a step back, too afraid to go too far and find ourselves unable to go back. It was like we were bouncing off those walls and still struggling to get over them. My mind was reeling, and I was too afraid to try and stop it for fear the resulting crash would knock me down. I'd hit the ground pretty hard the past few days, you know? I wasn't looking for another thing to warp my world. Sasuke alone was doing a perfect, chaotic job.

This started out like a game. A game of wit and raw will, a game of survival. I thought that was how Sasuke saw it all, like something trivial and wasteful. Now, I wondered who was really winning, and who was really losing.


	7. Chapter 7

Today was one that my sister would have loved, considering Amaya never got cold.

The day wasn't freezing, but I had never been a fan of cold weather nor the way it sunk into my bones and left me to shiver. Winter was coming to an end, but there were still days where the frost and wind stuck around, as unwelcome as they were. I pressed further against Itachi's side, where I'd taken up the space on the couch beside him while he read. A quiet laugh rumbled through him, and he raised his hand to rub my shoulder. "I've never met someone with such a vendetta against winter," he chuckled.

My ears pinned back in mock annoyance, and I flicked my tail against his hand. "It's not my fault you're warm, so stay still," I grumbled. He shook with laughter once more, but soon fell still again, returning to the perfect makeshift hearth. I'd never known a vampire to be capable of warmth, but Itachi was nothing if not a living contradiction to everything I thought I'd known, both about his race and about his status. Now, after having settled into our…situation, although less than ideal, I was comfortable with initiating closeness with Itachi like that. It was a step by step process, where we'd wandered past the occasional nudge or hair stroking. I wasn't sure where we were headed, but I was content with where we were.

Several days had passed, and it felt both like such a short amount of time and yet an incredibly long amount at the same time. I spent most of my time either on my own or with Itachi, and the awkward silence between us had burgeoned into amicable small talk and on to become…whatever this could be called. A comfortable companionship? I hesitated to venture past anything friendlier than a forced peace, considering we had little other option. Itachi was too peaceful to act as anything other than polite, even though moments like the current felt deeper. It would be too whimsical for me to believe in that.

Not once had I felt like a servant, a pet, or anything so degrading. Itachi spoke to me as he did to his friends or to his family, like my opinions mattered, like I was an equal. To people who'd never experienced the feeling of having your voice silenced, of getting treated like you didn't matter because of something as trivial as class, I couldn't express how validating and liberating it felt. Itachi's respect was ground-breaking to me, and his affection…

I had tried to warn myself against getting attached, but how could I not? Who could ever stop themselves from clinging to a safe place, to warmth or to food or to someone like Itachi? Every time I heard him laugh, or he turned to look at me with that gentle smile that made me feel like everything was going to be all right, at least for a while, I couldn't help the warmth that welled inside me. I felt safe, I felt happy, and those things were so unfamiliar that they were almost frightening. I was worried that if I allowed myself to sink into them, something would come to tear it all away.

Itachi was a noble, almost a prince in these lands. He wasn't a friend or a host or any other pretty word, he was a master, and in allowing myself to pretend otherwise, I was being a fucking idiot. My sister reminded me of it, I had to remind myself, now. He would move to people past me, it wasn't a matter of if, but of when. Like my life before, it was only a waiting game, and I didn't want to jeopardize the time that I did have.

But, despite that, I still soaked up his attention and every smile he aimed at me. Those moments were worth any price I'd have to pay later.

"Alex?" Itachi asked, his voice snapping me from the deep hovel of thought I'd dug. Flinching in surprise, I sat up some to look at him, my head cocked in curiosity. How long had I been so deep in thought?

"Are you all right? You looked quite lost in your head," Itachi asked, the hint of concern in his voice mixed with curiosity. I clenched my hands and dug my nails into my palms, hoping the sting would ground me.

"It's hard to focus on anything else when you're frozen," I muttered. My sarcasm-laced words seemed to reassure Itachi nothing was wrong, but he did smirk at me, and I knew he was about to retaliate. For a man famed for being stoic and serious, he had a wealth of sarcasm and dry wit of his own.

"Remind me to leave you rolled in a blanket in front of the fireplace the next winter that rolls around," he told me, to which I nudged his shoulder with my head with a groan of mock-annoyance. It was a joke, that was it—but for him to even say that I'd still be here in a year's time? It was enough to spurn a hopeful optimism in me. I thought I'd crushed that pesky shit a while ago.

"I'm comfortable like this," I countered, looking at the book instead of Itachi. I didn't recognize the words on the pages, and realized he'd long since gone on past where I'd stopped paying attention.

From behind the couch, I heard the doors creaking open as someone else came into the living room. The steps couldn't have belonged to Sasuke, who moved fast and almost without sound, thus that left only one another person. Excited, my ears pricked up as I straightened up and looked over the back of the sofa at my sister.

She jumped a bit when she saw me, her eyes rounding with surprise. I smirked, having forgotten she wouldn't have been able to see me with the way I'd been curled against Itachi. "Cat got your tongue?" I teased her, prompting her to break her silence. Her lips thinned into a flat line.

"What are you doing?" she asked, weighing her tone carefully in that way of hers. She wanted to know everything, but she worded it in ways that made it seem like she didn't, like she didn't ache to pry.

"Reading," I answered with as much innocence as I could, like I had to hide something at all.

"Trying to keep your brother from freezing," Itachi dryly said, at about the same time. I snorted before I could stop myself. I saw the beginnings of a smile tugging at Amaya's lips before she caught herself and schooled her expression into a more neutral one again.

"I see," she said, and I narrowed my eyes. "You've got your work cut out for you, then. He pouts if it drops below seventy-five degrees."

First of all, I was appalled that my own sister would turn against me. Second, I couldn't believe Itachi had laughed at that. I could see when I was getting ganged up on. The moment was tense even with the humor, and I wasn't sure if was relieved or even more worried when Amaya broke her gaze away and continued her way to the kitchen. I sat still for a few seconds longer, torn between staying in my comfortable spot and chasing the lecture I knew waited for me.

My sister won out, and she probably always would.

I murmured an excuse as I placed my hand on Itachi's knee and pulled myself up, intending on heading to the kitchen. Amaya's meager time spent out of Sasuke's quarters in the beginning of our stay had gradually grown into longer hours, though she always moved fast and seemed on edge, like she was nervous staying in place for too long. It made it difficult to actually sit and spend time or even talk to her like I wanted, and I missed her more than anything. We'd had nothing but each other for years, and suddenly we'd gone to seeing one another hardly once a day?

Lately, I'd seen her out more, and she appeared less and less antsy. It led me to believe Sasuke had given her freedom of the house as Itachi had with me; or, at least, freedom to leave his room. Sasuke, on the other hand, I'd seen very little of, and I'd spoken even less to him. The extent of our conversations thus far had been one or two-word answers, very cold ones on my part while Sasuke, at best, was neutral towards me. I'd not forgiven him for hurting my sister, and I think he could see that.

I slipped into the kitchen, where Amaya had her back towards me while she filled a glass with water. Consciously, I walked a little louder, so she wouldn't startle when I spoke. "Amaya?" I asked, testing the water.

Without turning towards me, she set the glass down with a clink. "You and Itachi seem to be getting close," she commented, calm but never to be mistaken as casual. I was no longer "testing the water" but rather the ice, now, and it was thin. I didn't know what to say, what was I supposed to say? How could I look anyone in the eyes and tell them "hey, I know I'm by all accounts a slave and this man is the one who owns me, but he's kind and I like him!" without sounding crazy?

Even I thought I sounded crazy.

"It's hard not to, when you spend most of your time with them," I said. I winced at how defensive it sounded. Did she really have to talk to me like I was on trial? "Itachi isn't the same man from the rumors and stories, that's only a piece of him—"

"A piece," my sister interrupted, turning her head slightly towards me, "is still a part of him, and you can't claim to know anyone well after a couple of months."

I crossed my arms. As annoyed as I was with her closed-minded approach, she wasn't all wrong. But, she wasn't all right, and I wanted her to open her eyes and see that. "A part isn't all of someone, either," I reminded her. "He's got several sides, and he's a kind person at heart. What hope would a child of someone as powerful as Uchiha Fugaku have of being anything other than a warrior, a pawn?"

While I was speaking, Amaya's hands clutched the counter, and I saw them tightening until her knuckles were white. I kept waiting for her to cut me off and end the discussion, as she was so wont to do, but she never made a peep until I was finished, and then for several seconds after. Arguing with my sister wasn't how I wanted to spend our time together.

Slowly, her shoulders sagged. "Alex," she started, her voice soft and weak, but also so very heavy with disbelief. "Don't get yourself hurt."

That wasn't at all what I'd expected her to say...a long lecture about my naivete or how low my status and race were to someone like Itachi? Definitely. "I'm not little," I told her, somewhat snappishly. "I know things don't mend or work the way they do in stories. I only said I liked him. He's…easy to be around," I finished, awkwardly trying to explain how I felt without doing exactly that.

I almost missed the twitch of my sister's shoulders as she tensed, only to loosen a second later when she let out a rather bitter scoff. I didn't like the change in her, and I was about to say as much, when she turned to face me. When she looked at me like that, like she loved me more than anything and yet like I was also stressing her into old age, I felt like I was a child again. I felt five years old, clinging to my big sister's hand as she stood in front of me, like she was standing between me and the rest of the world.

She didn't have to do that anymore. She didn't have to be the shield.

I was in her arms before I'd even registered either of us moving. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and rested my chin atop her head. I could hardly remember when I'd surpassed her in height, but she'd once been so smug about her being taller. I smirked against her hair.

"I just want to keep you safe," she whispered, and my chest tightened. "I don't know how to, anymore."

I wanted to ask her what; what did she want to protect me from? Itachi, our future, myself? Instead, I gave her a careful squeeze. "You don't have to protect me like you did when we were kids. I can take care of myself, now." And, though I didn't say it out loud, I had Itachi now, too. Amaya didn't see it that way, not how I did, but Itachi was keeping me safe and I had no doubts he would continue to. I trusted that much.

Amaya scoffed. "You'll always be my little brother," she murmured. "It'll always be my job to worry about you."

Maybe that was true, but everyone also had an obligation to worry about themselves. "Someone has to worry about you," I told her grimly. "And I'm not about to pass that job to Sasuke."

Amaya laughed at that. Not a chuckle or a sarcastic snicker, but a laugh. It would've been a cold day in hell before I thought she would ever laugh at a mention of his name, but there she stood. The devil must have been shivering.

"I think Sasuke still needs to learn how to take care of himself," Amaya muttered against my shoulder, before she reluctantly pulled away. I stared at her for a moment, dumbstruck.

"And taking care of himself is draining you dry?" I sounded much harsher than I meant to. If Amaya felt bothered by it, she didn't let on.

"I do believe I'd be dead if he'd drained me," she replied sardonically. "So, no. He does need to eat, though." She rubbed her arm uncomfortably at that. I don't care if he needed to eat. He could starve, for all I cared. "Just like Itachi does."

"They're nothing alike!" I snapped. I didn't immediately recognize that I'd rushed to defend Itachi, but Amaya looked like she had. Hell, she may have set it up that way. "Look. Itachi has been nothing but kind to me," I paused to take a deep breath. "He's never so much as raised his voice at me, and he treats me like a person. I'm surprised he even has those rumors against him."

Amaya lowered her eyes. "You can never take people at face value, Alex. There's always more than meets the eye."

That unnerved the hell out of me. Why was she even trying to defend Sasuke—was that what she was doing? Or was she trying to dissuade my defense of Itachi? I wasn't sure which would have upset me further. In fact, had my sister not left the kitchen and left me stewing in my own confusion, I'd have launched into a tirade about both, surely. The only thing saving me from staring to hiss about it to myself was Itachi's mother, who happened to walk in at that precise moment between me snapping. Itachi came in behind her. "Oh, there you are!" Mikoto smiled, "I proposed the idea of heading out for a bit to Itachi. It's warming up a bit, now, and I think a day out to the nearby forest would do us all some good!"

Actually, some fresh air to clear my head sounded perfect. "I'd like that," I told her, her contagious smile tugging at my own lips.

"Wonderful, where's Amaya? I thought I heard her," Mikoto asked, bewildered. I cocked my head towards the hall. The whole place was bafflingly like a maze, what with the corridors that led to every room in the house. Why not one exit and one entrance, it'd save a lot of time.

"She just left. Maybe she headed back to Sasuke," I said, and god help me, I tried not to hiss his name. It hadn't worked too well.

Mikoto appeared unfazed by it and nodded her head. "I'll fetch them both, you two can head out to the car, if you please." Her heels tapped away on the tile. I exhaled a long sigh, wary of spending the day with Amaya after our…revealing spat, much less with Sasuke around.

"Are you sure you won't pout the whole time?" Itachi asked from behind me. I didn't bother turning to face him when I rolled my eyes.

* * *

 

It was an unfortunate fact that walking away from your problems didn't mean they would stay where you left them. I wasn't even sure which problem I was trying to leave behind when I left Alex in the kitchen. Suddenly, it felt like there were dozens of them all raining down from a fat cloud above me. I'd wanted to keep Alex safe, and inadvertently, I was worried I'd only placed him in even greater danger. Itachi was taking care of him, but for god's sake, I'd never anticipated them forming any sort of bond. I'd trusted Itachi to protect Alex, and now I wanted to protect Alex from the very thing I'd thought would keep him safe.

Protect him from what, though? How could I explain that to Alex, who already rushed to defend Itachi, when I didn't know, myself? I couldn't stand the thought of Alex getting hurt, and now, physical hurts weren't the only threat. If Alex had grown so attached to Itachi that fast, what would happen when we had to leave? Nothing lasted forever, and certainly not our time with the Uchiha family. We were servants, pets, not guests. Itachi, being the eldest, would be the first sold off to an arranged marriage. If he hadn't already started to meet potential spouses already. An enslaved ibrida had no place beside a noble. Alex and Itachi both were already pushing the line in the brazen acts of affection like the one I'd just walked in on. I hated seeing the wounded look on Alex's face, but if I didn't warn him…he was going to get his heart broken.

Our time had an expiration date, and the realization made me queasy. Once a house decided they no longer wanted their servant, they often killed them. If they were spared that fate, then they got resold. Entering that compound again was so painful a thought, it made me want to collapse with the force of it. I couldn't allow that to happen, not again, not to Alex. They would separate us; it was by pure, cold luck that we were still together, now. If Itachi and Sasuke didn't get rid of us, I would have to find a way for Alex and me to break out before then. If I could even tear Alex away from Itachi, by that point. God, how had I not seen it coming? I'd seen the way Itachi had smiled at Alex in the beginning, and I'd brushed it off. Alex trusted Itachi so much. I just didn't want Itachi to turn out to be something else, despite my brother's affection and faith…and his belief that he could take care of himself.

Or of me. I snorted, remembering his comment on Sasuke. Guilt soon followed my brief bout of amusement. Alex's callous opinions of Sasuke weren't wrong, not…not entirely, yet I'd been too fast to defend Sasuke. I'd turned my argument about Itachi around. But it was me who had lived with Sasuke, me who'd witnessed his temper and his flaws, his smile, and his hesitance over any shred of kindness, like it confused him.

I froze, right outside the bedroom door. Alex was fucking right, wasn't he? He'd been right. Itachi had been raised in the spotlight; to be a warrior, a deadly weapon honed by a man who thirsted for power. And Sasuke was no better, a second-born who'd been placed under unattainable expectations to live up to. Itachi and Sasuke both were born into roles they'd had before they had names. That cold husk of empathy I'd been crushing for days now was starting to burgeon into a deeper well. I didn't remember much of my family, and I'd spent over a decade wishing for parents, for someone to take us in…but looking at Itachi and Sasuke made me wonder if Alex and I were lucky. Fugaku had scarred his kids. Itachi's temper was controlled, refined—Sasuke's…Sasuke had to have learned from someone.

My stomach sank, and along with it, bits of the hatred I'd had my claws buried in so deeply. I couldn't hide from that realization, because I'd been there. I knew how easy it was to be manipulated, to fall into a cycle because other people were shaping you into something else. No one else knew how easy it was, not until they were the manipulator, or the child. When I was a child, I had lashed out at countless people. I'd had nowhere else to put my anger, and I only knew one way to handle it. I'd had someone to protect, back then.

Black and white, grey? No, color was bleeding into my view, and it was changing the entire canvas.

The door creaked as I opened it to slip inside, and I found it to be a bit of a challenge to paint a neutral expression over the unease and shock still roiling inside of me. I was lucky Sasuke was still where I'd left him—reading, too absorbed to raise his head and notice my perturbation. He'd taken my spot in the window seat, though. So what if I didn't technically own it, I'd made a little home out of that place. "Don't vampires burn in direct sunlight?" I mumbled, my petty comment purely sarcasm.

Sasuke cut his eyes over the top of the book to look at me, appearing unimpressed. "Do you howl at the moon at night?" he replied dryly.

I snorted as I plopped onto the bed. "Touché."

Silence had just fallen over us both (not quite comfortable, but no longer tense and awkward as before) when a gentle knock sounded at the door. I sat up as it opened, and Mikoto stepped inside. Her gaze bounced from me to Sasuke, and I thought I saw a glimmer of something in her eyes, but even if I'd caught it, I would never be able to even guess what it'd been. "Sorry to interrupt," she smiled, "we're heading out to Hoshikage Forest for a while, since it's so nice. Would you two like to accompany us?"

My ears perked up at the prospect of a trip out, past the same stone walls I'd been staring at for countless hours. I caught myself before my excitement ran away with me, but only by a margin; I still practically tripped over it. I turned to glance at Sasuke over my shoulder, certain the hopeful glimmer in my eyes would convey how much I wanted to come along. Sasuke looked at me for a moment before he sighed, marked his place in his book, and stood. "I suppose it couldn't hurt," he answered his mother, who smiled in appreciation of his acceptance.

That didn't hold a candle to mine, I'd all but bounced off the bed and out the door before Sasuke was away from the window. I was worried he'd leave me behind, and even with his agreement, I still felt a tad wary. With nothing to compare to, I still wasn't sure how most servants lived, but I somehow doubted that going on outings was too common. I wasn't going to stand around and question it, not when I had a real chance at getting outside, again. I wasn't meant to stay cooped up inside for so long, which wasn't something I'd ever thought I'd worry about. Hoshikage Forest was somewhere I'd only read of; it was fabled to be beautiful and peaceful, but it was on Uchiha property, so very few ever got to see it. It was a privilege I wouldn't take for granted and I'd have to remember to properly thank Sasuke and Mikoto both.

Itachi and Alex were waiting by the door by the time the rest of us got there, and Itachi was laughing into his hand at a story I must've missed. Alex was wearing a satisfied smirk on his lips, until he turned to face us, and it fell off his face to be replaced with a look of surprise. I let a gentle smile tug at my lips, hoping to relax him some, and he mirrored it after a pause. He glanced over my head right after, and his eyes hardened, belying his disdain.

"I'd hate not to take advantage of such a beautiful day," Mikoto murmured. She clasped her hands together as she spoke, her eyes glittering as she led the way outside. I trailed behind Sasuke towards a familiar car. After a moment of trying to asses why it was so familiar to me, I realized it was the very one that had brought me here. The time that had passed had flown by so fast, I couldn't believe it. Sasuke reached it first and placed his hand on the handle of the far back door, where I'd first gotten thrown in by him. I was taken aback when he opened it for me and turned to glance at me, waiting on me to get in.

I hurried to clamber in, though my mind still hung back on the polite gesture; one that treated me as a person, and not as an object or animal. Alex slid into the seat beside me and both doors shut while the other men went to take their seats. The glass separating the seats remained up, providing me a fraction of relaxation. I didn't think I was ready for a car ride of tense silence.

"How chivalrous of him," Alex deadpanned. "How long until he slams your hand in the car door?"

I cut my eyes to look at him. "He isn't going to do that," I said, and I hoped. I may have been leaning too far over the edge of hopeful, but I believed I had enough reason to rely on what I said. Sasuke's penchant for aggression was dwindling, and he hadn't so much as knocked his shoulder against mine since the last time we'd clashed. Nor had I purposely attempted to antagonize him. Not seriously, anyway, but the occasional sarcastic banter would pass between us. "Sasuke is…unpredictable," I granted, "but things aren't what you think them to be."

Alex turned his head to look out of the window, avoiding confrontation. "Sure. He's not worth your defense of him, I hope you know that."

I examined my hands, where I had them folded in my lap. "I hope you know getting so attached to Itachi is likely to hurt you in the long run," I told my brother.

He stiffened and his head turned slightly to the side. "I'm allowed to have my own feelings, Amaya." He crossed his arms. "I'm not going to pretend I hate it here. It's the first warm, safe place I've known since…since home," he said, his voice catching in the middle. "There's food, water, shelter, and Itachi is…" Alex's voice wavered and I waited him for to continue, and after a moment, he did. "You don't have to make it sound like I've committed a sin just for having feelings."

Great, now I was the bad guy. I sighed and my shoulders sagged as I exhaled the tension. "I don't mean to. I only want to make sure you don't get hurt. Itachi may be kind," I glanced towards the window, as if I might be overheard, "but he is also nearly royalty in this city. I don't know how this will end up."

"So, we'll find out. Together," Alex said, and held his hand out. I closed my eyes as I took it, squeezing his warm hand in mine.

* * *

 The air out in the forest was fresher, more tranquil than the air in any city. I took in a lungful of the crisp, piney air and let it weave into me. I glanced beside me, where Sasuke stood, and appreciated the serene look on his face. His eyes were soft as he looked up, where the sunlight filtered through gaps in the leaves. Up ahead, I noticed Mikoto had paused, her slim fingers running through her hair to push it back.

"Wonderful, isn't it?" she asked, and I didn't know whom she was addressing. I found myself nodding anyway, too awestruck to verbalize. "If you'd all like to explore a bit, I say we meet at the lake in the heart of the forest around sundown. It gives these two a chance to see the forest," Mikoto grinned.

Itachi shared a look with Alex, and my brother nodded before walking side by side with the older man down a brightly lit path. It was like they spoke without exchanging a word.

Beside me, Sasuke hummed and nudged against me, gaining my attention. He nodded his head towards a separate path, this one dimmer with the overhead foliage being thicker. Content, I followed his lead. Even if I were to get lost, I doubted it would be bad in a place like this. The surrounding emerald and pleasantly warm sunlight were too peaceful, I'd gladly fall lost amongst them.

"You look entranced," Sasuke said, and I realized he'd glanced over his shoulder at me. "Have you never been in a place like this?"

"Not quite," I answered. "I've been in my fair share of woods, but like this? It's a scene out of a story book." A stunning scene, at that. "I spent tons of nights sleeping out in forests, and none of them compare to this."

Silence fell over us the two of us, and it stretched on several seconds until Sasuke finally broke it with a tentative question. "What happened that you ended up in that position?"

His sudden curiosity confused me, and my inherent alarms rose. I wanted to tread carefully, but the urge to divulge something I'd bottled up for only myself (and parts of it for my brother) was alluring. What could Sasuke do with the information? "We lost our parents when we were little. It opened the door for a…pretty bad group of people to take us in. We lived in a compound-like laboratory for years." I wrapped my arms around myself to ward off the chill, though it was warm out there. "It was a bad place. We broke out a few years ago, but it wasn't like we had anywhere to go."

I hadn't realized how dismal the story sounded, even as anemic as I'd told it. It wasn't until I'd shared it that it struck me that it wasn't exactly something to share, but Sasuke had asked. He had stopped walking somewhere in the middle, and I'd stayed a step or two behind him, stopping without even noticing. "You took care of your brother?" Sasuke asked, his voice solemn. In the moment I saw his face, I thought I saw a glimpse of horror in them, but he'd turned too fast and started walking again before I was sure.

"Of course." I couldn't imagine ever not.

Sasuke hummed ahead of me, a musing sound. "It sounds like you two walked a rough road."

I wasn't sure if that was empathy lining his murmur, or if I wanted it to be. I wasn't sure why I wanted it to be, if so. We fell into companionable quiet as we hiked along the pathway, up until we reached a clearing. The sound of streaming water was soothing to my ears, and I moved to the side for the sight of a lazy river to greet me. Sasuke leaned against the trunk of a strong oak tree as he watched the river.

"My brother all but raised me, as well," Sasuke shared. My ears pricked to attention, encouraging him to continue. It was so rare for him to open up, I latched onto the moment. "Our father, as you might've gathered, isn't much of a fatherly person. He cares more for money and power than his children." Sasuke turned his head, now facing me. "Our mother was often ill and left to her bed. Neither Itachi nor I knew much of a childhood, but I guess things are turning out fine, now."

I mulled Sasuke's words over in my head, applying his words to myself as much as him. There were problems, neither of us were perfect and we still struggled with toxic parts of ourselves, but…we weren't settled with them. We were trying. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

Sasuke smiled at me. When he smiled, his entire face lit up. It was like watching the stars slip out from behind a rain cloud. Sasuke glanced to the water, and his smile sharpened into a smirk—it wasn't the cold foe I was so familiar with, but a playful one. I watched him divest himself of his shirt, and instinctively took a step back when he took one towards me. "Sasuke, don't," I started, but I never finished. His hand caught mine and tugged me forward, where we both crashed backwards into the shimmering river. The cold water flowed around me, sinking through my clothes and even my skin, it felt like.

I resurfaced with a cry of outrage and shock, pushing my arms through the water so I wouldn't bob below again. Behind me came a chuckle from the culprit, and I whirled around, being sure to splash Sasuke in the process. A laugh bubbled forward, orotund and sincere. That was a first in a long while. The water dripped from Sasuke's hair and down his chest as it heaved with laughter. Our voices mingled together as we splashed in the water, no longer noticing how cold it was or how the sun was setting and beginning to cast shadows around the clearing. I noticed nothing except for Sasuke's blithe smile, and all the ways it made me feel like I was on top of the world. It was beautiful, enthralling, but looking down made me dizzy and made my heart jump to my throat.

It was as addictive as any pill.

* * *

 Regrettably, we couldn't stay in the crystalline river for long. The setting sun was our clock, and it was already nearing time we should meet with the others. I let my arms drop back into the water and sunk below the surface, my hair billowing out around my face. When I popped back up, I opened my eyes to find Sasuke had moved closer. The deep amber glow of the sunset gleamed on his skin, water drops still lazily rolling down the planes of his chest and stomach. His hair was longer when it was wet, clinging to his chin and neck. Absently, I reached up and brushed back the wet strands from his face. His own hand rose to cover mine, clasping our fingers together.

I looked up into his eyes, surprised. I was too afraid to move, my breath trapped in my lungs until Sasuke was the one who first snapped out of our little bubble. He withdrew his hand, as if realizing what he'd done (or rather, what I'd done) and lifted his gaze. "We should go." He waded past me, swishing the water against my waist. I remained frozen for a second, my face warm while the rest of me remained chilled from the water. I was starting to wonder if I was really imagining things. If I wasn't, things were getting out of control, and they were snowballing fast. I was only waiting for it to hit me and bury me alive.

Once reaching the shore, I shook my head to get rid of as much excess water as I could. My clothes would just have to dry on their own, even as I tried to wring them out a bit. Sasuke snickered off to the side, and I cut my eyes towards him. "Not a word," I warned him, understanding that I'd shaken off like a dog might.

He held his hand up, as if saying  _What? I didn't say anything_.

There were no more revealing conversations on our way towards the meeting spot, but the silence was comfortable, even amicable. Sasuke appeared thoroughly familiar with the forest as he trekked through it, not even pausing to observe any surroundings as he led us towards the lake. I heard voices before I saw our respective family members; Itachi was the one talking, and I heard Mikoto giggle. Sasuke ducked beneath a curtain of branches and leaves that looked like it only covered more dense foliage, but when I ducked under it as well, it revealed the lake, concealed by trees all around. There was plenty of room around the shore, and the others were seated around a fire they must've made while waiting on us.

I took a seat beside Alex and folded my legs, eager to sit by the fire to warm up. The evening air was getting cooler, and it was a poor choice to sit around in wet clothes. Alex looked me over with wary curiosity. "What on earth did you two do?" he asked, inching away as if I might try and soak him, too. A hug was looking pretty tempting right about then.

"We swam in the river. It was refreshing, but I suggest waiting for summer," I said, combing my fingers through my damp hair.

"You seem to be getting close with him." Alex's contentious comment made me stiffen. I glanced at him from the corners from my eyes, too unwilling to face him head on. His cool, calculative gaze didn't make me any more willing, either, as he sat with his arms folded. I was offended he'd take my own words and weaponized them against me, but how could I be? I was falling into the same trap I'd tried warning him against. I was a real winner, wasn't I?

"I only spent a little time with him. It's nice out here, how could I not have fun?" I answered evasively.

Alex snorted. "Sure, whatever." He leaned his head back. I knew he didn't believe a word I'd said, but that was all right. I wasn't sure I did, either. Itachi happened to approach the fire at that moment, coming to sit beside Alex. It was an innocent enough scene, until he reached around my brother's shoulders to wrap an arm around him. Alex leaned into the older man, accepting the invitation. A sour combination of guilt, concern, and resignation curdled inside me. I ached with apprehension of what Itachi might be playing at, why he was behaving so affectionately towards Alex; but I had no other option but to stay away from it. Alex was right, he wasn't a child anymore, and I couldn't control him. I certainly couldn't control how he felt. If Itachi made him happy, who was I to judge that, stop it, or try to poison it with my own misgivings?

Was I any fucking better? If my brother sank, I hope Itachi sank, too. Maybe we were all going to sink. The roiling ocean that had been my life since our abduction was becoming too seductive to not collapse into the waves.

"Mother, I'm heading to the cliff to watch the sunset." I heard Sasuke tell Mikoto, ending the soft conversation he'd been sharing with her. He clicked his tongue a couple of times, and my ears straightened. I stood, albeit reluctantly, from the warm fire to follow him. I'd hardly thought about the way he'd called me, or how I'd immediately known he wanted me to follow him. It'd been nothing short of obvious to me, but I caught the way Alex's eyes narrowed before I left. Had I not already proved Sasuke wasn't out to kill me? Or was Alex now afraid of the very thing I was? Because if so, we were caught in a spinning wheel.

It wasn't a long walk. The pathway was a winding twist upwards, until the shade gave way to the warm amber and cerise glow of the setting sun. My breath caught in my chest in a gasp, the sight catching me completely off guard. The rise was dotted with gorgeous flowers; they looked like lilies, with a soft lavender color. They were opening as the sun set lower, stretching up to the stars as they began to peek out in the sky. Sasuke walked close to the edge of the cliff, looking out over the expanse of forest below and the deepening indigo sky above. I hung back, hesitant to get anywhere near the edge, but Sasuke turned to look at me expectantly.

I grit my teeth, inching towards him, but I stopped short of the drop. He arched a brow in inquiry. "Something the matter?" he asked, to which I shook my head in denial. He reached for my hand and tugged me closer to him, and suddenly, there was something the matter. I stiffened and closed my eyes tight, but the brief glimpse of the ground so far below me made my stomach shrink. I pressed back against Sasuke, my back to his chest, and willed him to please, not let go. Heights had always made me wary, left me feeling like all my insides were getting tied up in knots.

I felt Sasuke shaking with silent laughter. "You could have said you were afraid of heights," he told me, his arms sliding around my waist. "You're all right, I've got you."

"I'm not," I protested, "I just don't like them." But, with Sasuke's arms keeping me from wavering, I felt safe enough to pry my eyes open a little. The sight was worth the pick-up in my heart beat. It was breath-taking. Violet bloomed across the sky, spilling across oranges and pinks as day melted into night. Stars were beginning to pop up, and the flowers were almost fully opened, now. The stretch of emerald in every direction below made me feel like I was looking out at a green ocean instead of treetops.

I rested my hands over Sasuke's arms where they were held securely around me, my eyes wide with wonder. Sasuke chuckled behind me, his breath fanned across my neck, and I shivered. I tilted my head to the side, against his shoulder. He glanced down at me, and I expected us to both return our sights to the sky, but we didn't. We lingered a moment, and I was drawn to the shape of his mouth, the way his lips were soft when they weren't set in a sharp frown. His eyes flickered across my own features, and I felt them heating up from his scrutiny. I shouldn't have turned my head, we were so close, too close.

I will never be sure who moved first. All I know is one moment we were still and looking at one another; the next, my eyes were shut, and my lips were pressed against Sasuke's. They were cool, but soft. I relaxed against him, allowing my fears and doubts to swirl down a drain for the short time I could. I didn't want it to end, I realized. If I could spend as much as I could up here with him, I would give up the rest of my time to. My neck flared with a hot fire, but it wasn't at all painful. It was warmth and pleasant tingling.

When we broke apart, the sky was now almost entirely dark. My lungs crackled from the lack of air, but it was nothing compared to the longing I felt once we'd separated. Sasuke blinked his eyes open and glanced from me towards the sea of trees below us. I, too, turned my head, unable to look at him without my eyes getting drawn to his mouth again. His arms never loosened from around me—a good thing, I was sure, because I believed I'd have fallen.

What had I done? This was like a crime, to trespass across the common servant and master bond. It had to be against a law, and if it wasn't, it crossed social barriers that could crucify Sasuke's reputation, perhaps even mine, should I ever have to leave the Uchiha. What we were doing was dangerous, I could have come between him and an engagement I wasn't even aware of. If Fugaku had controlled his children with such stringence as they grew up, surely he would choose even their spouses. Yet, Sasuke had kissed me, and I hadn't pushed him away.

Perhaps we'd all been doomed from the start.


	8. Chapter 8

Yesterday had been a mistake. A weakness that I'd given into, and were anyone else to know of it, my father would have the girl killed. He'd likely disown me after forcing me to watch it happen, too. I'd spoken hardly a word to her since last night, and it was well into the afternoon, now. Amaya didn't any keener to instigate anything either, but her antsy, edgy behavior was starting to put me on the edge, as well. I noticed every glance she aimed at me, the way she wrung her hands, the way she would cover the scar on her neck.

I clenched my jaw. That, too, had been a moment of weakness that cost me. I was far from infallible, despite my years of trying to prove otherwise, she'd wrenched parts of me out that I didn't know still existed. I wasn't meant to be anything other than a weapon, a tool. I was good at what I did, be it on the battlefield or streets or a political negotiation. I was trained and sharpened; for anyone to attempt to soften that was…it was futile. Surely even Amaya, as stubborn as she was, saw that.

If she did, why did she continue trying to reach out? And why (when) did I stop slapping her hand away each time she did? Was it the mark? I'd never scarred anyone—I didn't fully understand the consequences that were still unveiling. My mother bore a brand from my father, though he didn't feed from her. It was intended as a bonding scar that connected two people for the rest of their lives, unless a party chose to break it. I wasn't sure how to break such a permanent bond. I could have asked my mother about it, if not for my sake than for Amaya's, who had even less of an idea what was happening to her. But, bringing up one of the weakest moments of my life? I wanted to forget it'd happened.

I could have killed her. I'd forced myself into starvation mode, like some sort of wild animal. After the shit I'd given Amaya for her bloodline, I was the one who let my instincts override my head. My mind had gotten so fogged with hunger, and the scent of her blood had been driving me crazy for hours. I don't remember losing control, but I remember trying to fight, to cling to it. Amaya's voice alone had snapped me out of the most carnal state of my mind. Her words were still ingrained in my head, echoing every time I looked at her.

I had almost killed her, and she still believed I wasn't a monster. Even I had come to trust that fact. Ever since then, I'd been torn between proving her wrong, or…perhaps I was allowing her to prove  _me_  wrong. Our conversations were tentative but growing easier, and she no longer appeared afraid. She appeared determined, but determined to do what, I was still figuring out, like I was trying to figure out every other god damn thing about her.

I huffed out in frustration, my head starting to throb with the threat of a headache. I had to leave, being around her inhibited my ability to think with any semblance of clarity. What she and I were doing, what we'd already done, was risky to us both. Putting her life in danger wasn't something I was willing to do. When I'd agreed to this, I had anticipated a job, something brief, I'd never worried I would grow attached. I never worried that someone like Amaya would come and dig her claws into me, and refuse to let go.

I stood abruptly from my desk, causing the chair to tip back and clatter to the ground. Amaya's ears pinned back, startled, and she looked up from her book towards me. Our eyes met for a fleeting moment, but I tore my gaze away. I couldn't do this. It had gone on long enough. Before I left the room, I saw Amaya hang her head, her palm covering her throat. My chest tightened, her sorrow injecting into my thoughts. My brother was right—I was foolish. I was only hurting her worse because of the mark, now, and I couldn't break it. I was supposed to protect her.

I was a fool, and she was damned.

* * *

 "Asshole," I grumbled to myself, well after the door had shut behind Sasuke. After everything I'd put into trying to get him to open up, to trying to build a shakily amicable relationship with him, were we back at square one? Where he ignored me at best? I wasn't about to let him unravel all the progress we'd both made. Although, if last night wasn't unraveling it, I don't know what else would… I'd not brought it up, nor had Sasuke, but I was pretty sure our blatant avoidance was sort of "bringing it up" and all.

What was I supposed to do about it, now? Was Sasuke trying to pretend it didn't happen? Because that was a downer to the self-esteem. I groaned and set the book down. I couldn't remember a single word I'd been trying to read for the past who knows how long, anyway, so what was the point? I leaned back in the bed, where the sheets rustled around me. I was getting a tad too comfortable, for someone whose stay had an expiration date. Was this the date? Had we overstepped something so monumental that now he was going to send me away, as to not let us further fuck up?

That thought made panic come to a boil inside me, and it wasn't for any of the right reasons.

Luckily for me, before a full-blown panic attack could come to fruition, a sound stole my attention. From the hallway came the sound of footsteps, then, making my ears prick up in suspicion. They weren't Sasuke's, they were too heavy and unhurried. I sat up just as the door opened. The sight made me want to bury myself beneath the blankets and hide for the rest of my life.

Fugaku didn't look at all surprised to see me, but there was a cold glint in his eyes that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end all the same. "I take it Sasuke is out doing business?" he asked. I could only nod in response, but that didn't seem to please him at all. I wished for him to leave; instead, he took his hand off the doorknob and walked further into the room, closer to me. I recoiled some, fervently praying that Sasuke would choose the right moment to come back. Where the hell had he gone?

"What made you think a filthy animal has any right to lie on a bed?" Fugaku pressed on.

I tucked my legs beneath me as I straightened up, a swell of rage rising forward. "I'm not an animal," I snarled, perhaps more animal-like than I'd wanted, "I have permission, and I don't need it from you." I'd dealt with enough of that. My nerves and head were both a hurricane right then, and his added censure was only making everything worse. I just wanted to be left alone, was that too much of a fucking privilege?

Fugaku stilled, as did my heart. At that moment, I didn't want either of them to move again. When I spoke out, Sasuke's eyes hardened, they turned to steel; Fugaku's did not. His lit up, brightening with something akin to excitement. The cruel eagerness in his eyes made my stomach lurch inside me, threatening to vomit anything it had inside. Before I could even attempt backing away, or to form a weak apology, Fugaku was approaching the bed. The steps were too calm, too familiar with what he planned to do. He already knew what he was going to do—and I didn't want to find out.

His hand closed around my hair and yanked me off the bed, drawing a pained cry from me. "You have quite the insolent, rude mouth," he claimed, his voice not even wavering despite my kicking and struggling. He dragged me out of the room and down the hall, heading for the stairs. Not once did his grip even falter, for all that I was lashing out at him. My nails clawed at his hands in desperate bids to pry his fingers open.

"You are nothing but a slave, an animal we bought. We could kill you with a snap of our fingers and buy another, Sasuke would never look back." Fugaku's lips were pulled back in a gelid smirk, I didn't need to see it. I heard it. "You are worth nothing, and I'll show you what happens to worthless nothings when they disrespect."

"Let go of me!" I snapped, panic crawling up my throat and into my voice. "You can't do this!"

"And do you think Sasuke would stop me?" Fugaku asked, and there was genuine curiosity in his tone. I bit down on my lip. "Have you fooled yourself into thinking Sasuke cares, that he'd dare to defy me to save you?"

A choked sound bubbled up my throat, both in pain and protest. Fugaku yanked me into a dark room, one that looked unfinished. The walls were gray and the ground was hard, cold stone. He dropped me to the floor as he shut the door behind us, and in catching myself, I scuffed up my palms. "Please," I pleaded, terrified that Fugaku was going to kill me. I couldn't leave Alex—not like this. "I'm—"

Fugaku's hands closed around both my wrists and jerked me up, and my voice leaped into a yelp, cutting off my words. "I don't care to hear pitiful apologies." Fugaku's voice was frightening, it was so cool and calm, as if nothing about this fazed him. Had I not seen the gleam in his eyes, I would think he felt nothing at all; that would have been better than the repulsive excitement. Furiously, I screamed, even while Fugaku clamped cold metal cuffs around my wrists. The chains rattled as I struggled and yanked against them, frantic to break metal with sheer will. The stone walls and floor began to come together in a puzzle; this was a dungeon room, and I was a prisoner.

"It's a shame I have to discipline my son's whore," Fugaku said from behind me, his words dripping with proof that he wasn't sorry at all. I heard a leathery sound as he uncoiled something, his footsteps echoing off the walls as he went to stand behind me. Dread hardened in my stomach like a block of ice; I couldn't see him, I couldn't even see what was coming. "Hopefully after this, you'll learn how to behave like a true pet, and he'll learn how to keep you in line."

"You're crazy!" I shouted, hoping that by some miracle, someone would hear my screaming or the clanging of the chains. Fugaku didn't answer me, and I considered it a relief, but that was brief. The leathery sound came again, and soon followed the noise of something whistling through the air. I didn't register the sound to any object until it sliced into my skin, lighting a pathway of fire in its wake. A scream launched from my throat, the searing pain cutting deep into my flesh even when the whip had fallen away.

Before I'd even stopped screaming, the whip sliced into my back again, cutting open my flesh with as much ease as it did my shirt. My shoulders throbbed in protest as I yanked on my arms, prepared to either yank the chains off the wall or my arms out of their sockets to escape the flames licking at my back. No respite came, Fugaku delivered lash after lash to my vulnerable flesh without so much as a hesitation. He was coldly silent throughout the duration of the torture—or, perhaps I was only deafened by the sound of my own voice screaming.

Blood had begun dripping from the ugly, deep marks on my back, where my flesh had broken from the multiple lashes. Welts had opened and each time the whip struck the same place, they opened deeper, into jagged crevasses. My chest heaved in hysteric sobs, my lungs no longer able to take in any air. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breathe, it hurt so much. He was going to kill me. My feet slipped beneath me in the pool of blood, and I couldn't even scream at the added pressure to my aching shoulders when I went limp, too dizzy and delirious to hold myself up. The whip came once more, and from somewhere deep inside of me came a single word, the only one that my panicked mind could think of. It was louder than any of my prior screams, even when that first hit had landed. With as much power as I could muster, my desperate cry launched forth.

" _Sasuke!"_

I gasped in a breath, no strike landed after my final scream. I was shaking with such violence that my teeth clacked together. The sharp taste of salt covered my tongue. Behind me, Fugaku chuckled, a dark and horrible sound. I flinched harshly, my eyes squeezing shut in anticipation of the whipping continuing.

"Pathetic," Fugaku commented, sounding far from disappointed. If I could see him, I was sure his fangs would be bared in hunger. "You've deceived yourself into believing he cares. I should leave you here to bleed out," Fugaku slipped into my vision, in front of me. I jerked back with a shriek, both of terror and agony. His hand was cold when he reached and grabbed my face, pinching my jaw in his fingers. "You'll do well to remember this. You dare to disrespect me again, and I'll make this look like child's play."

I nodded my head up and down viciously, my hair sticking to my face, damp with sweat and tears. With a scoff, Fugaku dropped my face and left me hanging. I listened as he left, but I was unable to feel anything past the agony. My nerves were all aflame, screaming, and the thought of moving was nauseating. All I wanted was for it to all stop, but the means for it to stop didn't matter to me anymore.

The door flew open then, slamming against the wall and wrenching another scream from me, so horrified was I at the prospect of Fugaku returning. I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted to say, I wanted to beg. The air fell still and silent for a moment, as if my entire world had come to a halt, like even it was too shocked to continue. I sobbed against my arm, too exhausted to try and look over my shoulder, my breathing still frantic and starving. That seemed enough to break the spell that had frozen time. A shadow blocked the light from the hallway and darted into the room. I ducked away from slim hands when they reached for me. A quiet, deep hush soothed me. I latched onto the comforting tone as it sunk into my battered senses.

The chains rattled before the manacles loosened, dropping from my wrists. They were raw and bloody when they dropped, and I started to collapse to the floor, helpless to support myself. The ground looked almost inviting, anything to relieve my over-stressed body. A pair of strong arms around my waist held me up, and soon they lifted me up entirely, taking away the effort of trying to hold myself up. I groaned in pain at the rocking motion of getting carried out of the room, leaning my head against a warm chest. I blearily opened my eyes and blinked up at my rescuer. Sasuke's tight expression made a weak pulse of relief and gratitude override the agony. He came for me.

Consciousness was an elusive creature that drifted in and out of my reach. I was only vaguely aware of what was happening around me. The change of room, the sound of voices, the chill of tile against my bare skin. I was content to lean my shoulder and head against the wall to my left, though I missed the familiar warmth of Sasuke's arms. A choked whimper rose in my throat when, albeit gently, water began to rinse my skin free of blood. The wounds were raw and open, bleeding fresh and turning the water pink. I flinched away when hands touched my back, and distantly heard a curse. I couldn't make out any words, but I listened as Sasuke stood and ran out of the bathroom, leaving me beneath the cool water. It soothed and irritated my wounds in a painful contradiction, but I was too tired to lean either away or towards it.

Footsteps hurried into the bathroom again, but opening my eyes was too much work. I was losing my battle with staying awake by the second, and that might've been something to be grateful for when I felt hands return to my torn back. They were gentler and felt like they were more familiar with what they wanted to do. My tears mingled with the shower water as they cleansed my wounds. Once the water was turned off, I hoped I could finally sleep, but even that wish was too much to ask for. The slender hands, now cool with a slick substance, began to rub the cold medicine over the expanse of shredded flesh that was my back. I grit my teeth hard the entire time, shaking with sobs even as I blocked any screams from escaping me. My head ached as I kept my teeth clenched together.

It felt like it took ages before the hands left me alone, my entire back now covered in the medicine. Each of my hands got picked up, and the medicine gently rubbed into each of the raw marks on my wrists. I murmured weakly, hardly even aware of what I was saying. A feminine voice whispered comfort to me, and I realized it was Mikoto who was helping me. She pulled me away from the wall and coaxed me to hold my arms up, though even that expended a sickening amount of effort. I shook with exertion while bandages wrapped around me, a thick layer of protection that, along with the medicine, was soothing the immense pain of my wounds. My skin was turning numb, now. I let my arms drop from the air when prodded to do so, only weakly able to stand sitting upright while my wrists received the same careful treatment.

Somewhere a few feet away, I could hear a mix of masculine voices talking, but it was all complete nonsense to my ears. Strong hands took me by my upper arms and gently, but insistently, helped me as I stood. I wavered in place as a towel draped itself around me, soft and warm. I felt my legs already giving out in the seconds I'd stood, but I barely got the chance to feel weak before strong arms were enveloping me and providing the support I needed. I sighed in weary contentment as I was shifted into the arms. I was safe here. I knew that.

The voices spoke again, a muffled and fuzzy background static. Slowly, they faded away, and I realized that Sasuke was walking. Carefully, he sat down, the mattress of his bed sinking with both our weights to welcome us. Gentle fingers carded through my damp hair, pushing it out of my face. Panic made adrenaline fill my bloodstream again, too much and too fast after having just finally started to come down. Not the bed, not there, the bed meant trouble. I started to shake again, and I tried to sit up, to pull away from Sasuke and collapse on the floor to finally get the sleep I craved so. Sasuke's arms tightened around me and I felt his lips against my temple. I had to get up, I had to move or I'd get in trouble again. I had to be strong, I couldn't be weak.

I buried my face into his chest and burst into tears.

* * *

 Amaya was shaking with so much force that I feared she'd shake herself apart. I hugged her closer to my chest, gently rocking as I tried to comfort her. It felt like such a vain attempt, but what else could I do? Her hands buried into my shirt as she clung, and it gave me the impression she was afraid I'd leave. I had never been a source of comfort, and certainly not now. I wished my mother had stayed, perhaps she'd at least have known how to get Amaya to stop crying. Instead, it was me, and all I could do was hold her and whisper empty words that I doubted she could even hear.

I was hesitant to touch her back, but I knew the medicine would have already numbed it. It was a powerful serum, infused with strong herbs that would hopefully provide relief and prevent infection. The wounds had been hideous, so raw and deep. The scent of blood had been almost overwhelming, but I'd had to fight not to allow the scent to overpower me. Amaya needed me, and I wasn't going to fail her. Not for the second time. It was my fault she had gotten hurt in the first place, if only I had stayed, if only I'd protected her…I didn't even know who had done such a thing to her.

Impatience burned at the tip of my tongue, but I allowed her to cry herself out before I dared to press for answers. She'd reduced to trembles and shaky breaths before I felt it was safe enough to venture into what I was certain would be difficult territory. Had Amaya even seen who'd done this? Had she gone with someone, or had they taken her? I'd never seen that room before; its sickly grey color mottled with red made my stomach turn. A dungeon hidden away.

"Amaya," I started, and I hoped my voice didn't contain the rage I felt boiling in my blood. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Immediately, I felt the tension coiling in her muscles. Amaya's ears flattened against her hair and she shook her head, refusing to answer me. "Amaya, please," I started, dredging up all the patience I could. "You need to tell me who hurt you. I won't let it happen again, I promise." I swore as much to myself as to her that whoever put their hands on her wouldn't get her a second time. I was going to make them pay for the crime they'd committed. It was torture—it was sadistic.

Somewhere in the recesses of logic, I feared I knew what had happened. Someone had taken it upon themselves to deliver a punishment, a real punishment by law of servitude. Amaya was, legally, under control of any noble, but that wasn't something I was going to stand for. She belonged to me, she was mine, and I'd be damned if anyone else touched her. "I can't help you if you won't let me," I whispered, a silent plea that she would just give me a fucking name.

Curling further in on herself, Amaya ducked her head to hide her face. "Let go," she murmured. I refused for a moment, until she began quaking against me and leaned away in a weak attempt to escape. "Please, just let me go!" she said again, her voice rising with insistency. I had no choice but to let her slip down, where she dropped from the bed and to the floor. Too stunned by the display, I watched as she curled into the towel and hid most of herself from view, like she wanted nothing more but to completely vanish.

"You don't have to sit on the floor," I told her, my voice thick with confusion. How long had she been sleeping on the bed, several days? I'd long since stopped with the unjust rules I'd enforced weeks ago. I was changing, I was trying. I didn't want to be my father. "Get back on the bed." It was less of a request and more of a command, but the sight of her shivering on the floor was sawing at the last thread of patience I had. She was still in shock, I was sure. She had to be, otherwise she'd never have acted so…so traumatized.

She didn't even raise her head up to look at me, so of course, she stayed right where she was. I didn't have it in me to force her back onto the bed, whether by picking her up or coaxing her to do it herself. If she felt safer on the floor, I wasn't going to add to her misery by taking it away from her. It was clear to me by then that I wouldn't be getting any answers, not from her, but I wasn't going to let it go. I stood from the bed—apparently too fast, as Amaya flinched below me—and reached for the comforter. Taking care to move a little slower, I pulled the comforter from the bed and draped it over Amaya, where she could make herself a little nest.

When I left, I was certain to shut the door this time. No one aside from me would dare to enter, this time. I'd snap their neck before they took a step inside.

I hoped to find solitude in the kitchen, but Itachi had lingered behind. My head and instincts were both hazy and clouded, and I found myself snarling, feeling caged despite Itachi's careful distance. His face remained neutral as he was mindful not to retaliate. Guilt followed immediately. He wasn't my enemy, he'd never been, and my hostility wasn't welcome.

"Is she asleep?" Itachi asked, his arms folding as he leaned against the counter. I noticed the obvious absence of Alex, who had been nothing short of hysteric when I'd carried his sister in earlier, bloody and half-conscious. Itachi must have calmed him down enough to pass out, himself.

I clenched my jaw. "I'm sure she is by now, but she refused to sleep on the bed. She laid on the floor, instead." I still regretted leaving her there, but I couldn't see her taking it well were I to drag her back up on the mattress. Itachi's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "I couldn't get anything out of her. I don't even know who fucking did it to her."

"She's still in shock, most likely. Give her a little time, Sasuke," Itachi's calm voice was a far cry from the rage still edging into mine. He rested a hand on my shoulder, an anchor for me to latch onto. "Perhaps we can figure out who was in the house and go from there. She might be too afraid to confront the person responsible." Itachi's explanation was logical, but I'd never known Amaya to fear anyone, not for long. Who could have frightened her so terribly?

Distantly, I recalled Amaya confiding in me parts of her history, about her time growing up in a laboratory…a bad man who performed experiments. I had to confess the knowledge to Itachi. Even if it didn't mean anything, I wanted him to know. "I believe she knew Orochimaru," I told my brother. His shoulders tensed, but no evidence of that bled into his expression. "She didn't use his name, but she told me she and Alex both were taken in by a laboratory when they were younger, by a man who performed experiments on them and the other children."

Itachi took a slow breath. "That's…troubling," he sighed. "But, I doubt he had anything to do with this, it's been years since our family cut ties with him."

Even Itachi sounded dubious, as was I. Orochimaru never failed to get what he wanted, and I was certain he'd keep finding ways to creep into my life. I had a terrified girl who wouldn't talk, and a sociopath who continued popping up everywhere he didn't belong.

Itachi straightened suddenly, a severe look entering his eyes. "Where's Fugaku been?" he asked, the urgency in his voice startling me. I had no idea, I tried my best to avoid our father, Itachi knew that. My lack of answer was enough for him to press on, while I struggled to connect the dots. He had passed me on the stairs, hours earlier. My eyes widened in recognition—no, surely he wouldn't have.

Itachi's eyes were as hard as steel. "He took a liking to her, and you've seen the way he treats servants. He would abuse any reason he had to hurt them."

A snarl rumbled in my chest and up my throat. He'd put his hands on her—on what was mine. He'd left her a terrified, traumatized wreck, and it was because I had been foolish enough to leave her by herself. I should have known better, after seeing the way he had looked at her, the way he'd grabbed her. I'd let Amaya get hurt when it was my job to keep her safe.

I pressed my hand to my forehead, a familiar ache surging beneath my fingertips. "Why is this happening?" I mumbled, intending the words for only myself, but trust my brother to always offer his wisdom where he wasn't asked.

"You bonded with her," Itachi said, his smirk evident enough in his tone that I didn't have to look. "You're too afraid to admit you care about her, even after you left your mark on her. Sooner or later, you're going to have to stop running away from your feelings, little brother.

I clenched my hands on the counter, my knuckles turning white from the pressure. "It wouldn't matter if I did," I grit out, humoring his observation. "She's a pet, not an equal. We could never—"

"Sasuke," Itachi interjected, his sharp tone making me snap my mouth shut. However old I got, I would never outgrow getting startled by Itachi's sternness. "You are too focused on status. Are you going to allow everyone else to dictate all aspects of your life forever?"

Chagrined, I lowered my eyes. Itachi never failed to make everything sound easy, or at the least, possible. "You're going to take father's place as clan head," I reminded Itachi. "Do you truly believe you can avoid an arranged marriage? That you'll be allowed to continue what you're doing with Alex?" I'd noticed how they acted together, however discreet Itachi attempted to keep things. I grew up with him, did he genuinely think I wouldn't see his change? He never looked at anyone the way he looked at that ibrida. It was…frightening. I couldn't fathom Itachi having anything that made him happy torn away from him. Not after he'd lost so much already, but our father would sooner kill Alex than allow any relationship to burgeon.

Itachi's eyes were as hard as steel, even as a tight smirk spread across his lips. "It isn't a matter of who's going to let me, it's a matter of who's going to stop me."

I shuddered at the cold, resolute words, and I would never doubt for a second that Itachi meant them. But, I wasn't Itachi, and I wasn't sure I could do the same.

I was prepared to voice as much, but before I could, the telltale sound of someone approaching the kitchen interrupted us. Itachi was gone with nothing more than a tight nod towards me. The heady, undeniable scent of blood filled my head and made my lips curl in a feral sneer. I turned on my father as he walked into the kitchen; not a thing about him was out of place. He was clean and put together, the epitome of calm. There were no traces of blood on him, but I could smell her on him. My fingers twitched, aching to tear out his throat.

Fugaku glanced up at me and arched a brow. "Ah, Sasuke, there you are. I've been meaning to find you," he said, his voice as light as if were discussing weather.

Rage launched up my throat. "What did you do to her?" I demanded, my muscles bunching in fury.

My father only cocked his head. "I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific, so—"

"Don't, don't you dare," I snapped, interrupting my father. He shut his mouth and raised both eyebrows, mocking surprise at my lack of formality. As if I had ever looked at him with even an ounce of respect since I was a child. "You had no right to lay a hand on that girl."

A gleam of recognition entered his eyes. "Ah, you mean your pet?" he asked, and waved his hand flippantly. "That thing needs to be muzzled, it's horribly behaved. You're lucky I got to it when I did, but you know how I hate having to deal with others' problems. Next time she demonstrates such petulance, I won't be half as generous." His eyes narrowed as he looked towards me, speaking down to me as if he believed he'd done me a favor.

Acid steamed in my veins, boiling my blood. The last shreds of my composure singed away. My hand lashed out and wrapped around the old man's throat. Using all the force in my body, I slammed my father back into the wall. He grunted in pain as the air in his lungs got crushed out of him. His eyes widened in shock, but he didn't dare to raise a hand back to me. He'd long aged past being able to challenge either myself or Itachi. Both of his sons had long since surpassed him, and for me to not crush his throat took every grain of willpower I had. "Don't ever touch her again," I seethed, inches from his face. "She belongs to me. If I ever see you so much as look at her, it will be the last mistake you make." I dropped my hand from my father's throat and left him standing in the kitchen, sucking in breath frantically.

He raised his hand in a placating gesture. "Fine, fine," he rasped. "I know how you like having things to yourself." He straightened then and offered me a coy, cool smile as he brushed past me, coming to a pause when we were shoulder to shoulder. "However, a bit of advice, if I may. She reeks of innocence, I suggest you do something about it. It's terribly tempting."

I was throwing my fist before I'd even registered the muscle movement. Something cracked beneath my knuckles as I drove them into his face, but even that meager satisfaction was a minute relief to the disgust surging in my gut. I had to get out of there, another word from him and I wasn't sure I could hold myself back. I was already crumbling; my throbbing hand was proof enough of that. Storming out of the kitchen before he could tempt my hand again, I headed for the stairs. I had to get to Amaya, to prove to her she was safe. Midway up, I froze to a standstill, Fugaku's words having finally sunk in. Reeked of innocence?

I swallowed dryly and thought on the few times I'd touched her with any semblance of intimacy. How had she held onto innocence in a life of servitude and captivity? And to think of what I'd said to her.

I shook my head to clear it. I had said a lot of things, as had she. They were in the past, and moving forward, I was no longer going to be the one who hurt her.

She was my bonded, and I would protect her. I would kill anyone who got in our way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My best friend, the owner of Alex's character: I'm not gay
> 
> Also my best friend at every fictional male: …although


	9. Chapter 9

I was still shaking with raw adrenaline. It left me feeling sick to my stomach, but I had nothing in it to expel. Itachi was seated beside me, acting as my rock to lean against. Quite literally, as I leaned my head against his shoulder. My leg tapped against the floor in relentless bouncing until Itachi reached down, resting his warm hand on my knee and stilling me. I sighed against him, the comforting scent of mint and soap drawing me to close my eyes and sag against Itachi. "Do you…think she'll be all right?" I asked, struggling to word all my fears in a single question. There had been so much blood…on the floor, on Amaya, on Sasuke, it was hard to believe anyone could bleed so much. She'd hardly been conscious, and seeing Sasuke holding her limp body… I grit my teeth to block a choked sound. He had looked almost as bad as I'd felt, covered in her blood and looking terrified.

Itachi's fingers stroked up my back. "I assure you, we have access to the best medicine there is. She should be feeling better within days," Itachi soothed. "She's in good hands."

I took Itachi's hand in mine, and he gave it a careful squeeze. I wanted nothing more than to be there with her, I'd wanted to tear her from Sasuke and scream at them all to leave us alone, but I couldn't deny…Itachi was right. Sasuke had done everything he could to calm my sister and take care of her wounds, those awful lash marks. I'd wanted to shout at him for letting this happen, but how could I, when he'd looked so horrified and ill, himself? He'd held her so close, as if he were afraid to let her go. It made me as sick as much it relieved me. What if something like that happened again? What if someone came after me, next? Were Amaya and I destined to die in this stupid fucking house?

"Alex, look at me. You're breathing too fast," Itachi's comforting voice broke into my bubble of panic, and his hand on my face made me open my eyes and realize I was on the verge of a panic attack. Itachi's eyes softened, and he leaned down to press a kiss to my forehead. "You're going to be okay, just like your sister. I will never allow any harm to befall you, and Sasuke is going to take care of Amaya. I promise."

I sucked in a wet breath. "She's all I have," I whispered, the heaviness of it sinking in and yet managing to take a weight off my shoulders all at once. "We promised to take care of each other."

Itachi's thumb stroked against my cheek, and I couldn't help but to lean into it, raising my own hand to cover his. With nothing but a soft touch, Itachi could soothe me. "When I took you into my house, I promised to take of you, as well," Itachi stated. "Sasuke is with your sister now, and he's going to take care of her and ensure she gets better. I promise, you're both safe."

I wasn't sure what was worse, that he made me such a bold promise, or that I believed it. Itachi had done nothing but keep his promises to keep me safe, to make me happy, and I could do nothing but trust his word. Itachi was the reason I was as comfortable and content as I was, as I'd been in years. Itachi was the one who could make me smile no matter what, who could make me laugh, who could indulge in my ardent analyses of books, and who made me feel like I finally had a home. A home that wasn't a house, but a person. I pulled back to look at him, a vague smile on my lips. His eyes lowered from mine and towards my mouth, where they lingered for a moment of hesitation. I couldn't bring myself to move as time slowed to a crawl. My heartbeat roared in my ears, deafening me to everything else. Was that what it was supposed to feel like, like I was about to tip over the edge of the world?

Itachi leaned forward right when I was almost too anxious to stay still a second longer. I made a startled sound against Itachi's lips when he kissed me, but I didn't pull away. Perhaps I should have, but I never wanted to. I hugged both arms around Itachi's shoulders and allowed myself to pull him closer. He shifted, turning sideways so that he could pull me against his chest. The kiss never left the zone of remaining chaste; it was sweet, gentle, and when we broke apart I found myself leaning after Itachi as he pulled back, disappointed at the loss. I opened my eyes, unaware as to when they'd closed.

Itachi's face was warmed with a faint pink flush, and I smirked at the sight. It was, for lack of a better word, pretty. Itachi's lips tilted up with amusement as well, and I shuddered as his hand cupped my face. I leaned against his palm, tilting my head enough to expose my neck. It was a brazen expression of trust, to expose your throat to any vampire, and I was well aware. I listened as Itachi sucked in a sharp breath, unable to quell the smugness in me when he growled low in his throat in pleasure. He leaned down, his lips grazing against my neck before I felt the coolness of his teeth. I arched forward, as encouraging as I could be when my voice refused to cooperate. His mouth was voracious against my skin, sucking hickeys onto my throat and nipping at the expanse of flesh.

Reluctantly, Itachi drew away, and a frustrated whine bubbled up my throat. Itachi was breathing almost as hard as I was, but he looked hardly put out, while I was sure I looked a mess. I could feel how flushed and red I was. "Alex," Itachi started, his voice husky with lust. I shuddered and, embarrassingly, realized I was starting to sport a tent in my jeans. If Itachi could do so much while only kissing my neck, I was starving to see what else he would manage. "I don't want to force a bond onto you. If we do this…are you sure you can handle it?"

The question was far too heavy for someone with such a hazy, addled mind. I nodded nonetheless, frantic to continue what we were doing, for Itachi to just touch me. I was certain I could handle anything and everything the bond could possibly entail—anything that involved Itachi, I knew I'd be happy. "Yes, please," I murmured, struggling to even find coherency. Itachi chuckled at my inability, but before I could be petulant about it, he was leaning forward again.

A part of me roiled in anxiety. Was I doing the right thing, allowing Itachi to brand me? To bond with me? My sister bore the mark, and she acted like it hurt at times, yet it didn't appear to make her any different. If Itachi and I sealed this, would he receive backlash from his family, would they force me to leave? How could I leave when I already felt so attached, much less if a bond established? My lust was clouding my anxiety, but it was still lingering, until Itachi leaned against me.

His mouth covered mine, and any doubt I had was blanketed when his hands slid beneath my shirt.

* * *

 If I could spend my entire existence huddled beneath the blanket, it wouldn't be enough. I clutched it tighter, my knuckles white with tension, as if I could use the flimsy cloth as a shield. A blanket didn't protect against monsters, though. Not really. It only provided your brain with a false sense of security, and that was what had gotten me in such a wreck in the first place. I'd allowed myself to sink into comfort and believe I was safe, and look at where it'd gotten me.

I'd known better. I'd known Sasuke's father was a dangerous man, from the moment I'd first met him I could see it in his eyes. Sasuke couldn't protect me from him—Fugaku had already proved that nothing stood between him and what he wanted. Sasuke could shout and pry all he wanted, I wasn't going to tell him. How could I? It was his own father, who would he trust, who would he stand up for? Fugaku was right. I was nothing to Sasuke, and soon, I'd be gone. I was a passing phase.

A choked sob scratched at my throat. It was my fault, it was all my fault and now I'd jeopardized the only place I'd had that I could even consider calling home in months. What if they sent me away, would they send my brother? Would they separate us? I curled tighter in my blanket, the muscles in my back twinging in protest. The blanket carried Sasuke's scent, and as I inhaled the familiar sharp, cinnamon smell, the swollen pressure in my limbs began to relax. The tears still dripping from my eyes began to slow and the dampness on my cheeks left a chill on my skin. Sasuke had looked so worried, I'd never seen him look that way before; that panicked, horrified look in his eyes still sent a shudder down my back. Sasuke's eyes were as dark as his father's, but they were so, so different, different in ways that I could never explain. Sasuke's were always brimming with emotion, he was never existing in a middle road, it was always with intensity. Whether his eyes were hard with rage or glimmering with mischief, I saw a person inside him.

I didn't see that with Fugaku. I knew, then, why I'd felt so sick upon meeting him. He had the same eyes as the people in the laboratory, from all those years ago. Eyes that lacked empathy, that looked down on children as if they were nothing but stock, a weapon, or a result. Fugaku had a snake's eyes, and I was more familiar with snakes than I ever wanted to be.

From behind me (or somewhere, it was hard gauging direction from beneath a blanket) the door clicked open and slammed shut, and I jolted at the loud noise. My breathing picked up as the grips of a panic attack began to latch onto me, but that same, familiar scent reached me, and a deep voice rushed to hush me before I could lapse into true terror. My blanket got pulled off, leaving me feeling bare and vulnerable, not to mention blinded by the sudden brightness of the light. Sasuke was kneeling above me when I blinked up at him, strands of my hair obscuring my vision some. Seeing the small smile that relieved some of the tension in his face made a weak grin tug at my own lips. How a person could ease my heart with nothing but a smile would always be beyond me.

"Come here," Sasuke sighed, coaxing me up. His wary expression wasn't exactly reassuring, but his hand on my shoulder steadied me as I sat up. "Amaya, I know who did this to you."

My breath caught in my throat and my eyes widened as I started to recoil away from his touch, but Sasuke only tightened his grip. "Don't," he told me, his eyes hard with determination. "You don't have to be afraid, he's never going to put his hands on you again. I'm sorry I let him get to you once." He knelt closer to me and pressed his lips to my forehead. I was frozen in the moment, too stuck in my own shock and lingering horror, but the feathery touch snapped me out of it. My hands clung to his shirt and, slowly, he shifted us so that he could sit on the floor and draw me to sit against him. He was like a wall surrounding me; a strong, inextricable wall. I'd never felt safer.

"He was angry because I disobeyed him," I murmured, my voice thick. "I was in your bed, I shouldn't have been—"

"He wanted an excuse," Sasuke cut in, his tone sharp. My ears pressed against my hair, going from pointed to flat in half a second. I didn't want to argue, but…it had been my fault. I hadn't wanted to get Sasuke into any sort of trouble with his father, and now I feared that was all I'd done. "If I'd only listened to him, this wouldn't have happened," I muttered, but I hardly got the chance to finish my sentence before Sasuke's mouth sealed over mine, the second time in as many days.

The first one hadn't been a mistake.

I allowed myself to sink into Sasuke's embrace, the warm flutter in my chest nothing compared to the heat on my face. When Sasuke pulled away, it wasn't far. "He can't tell you what to do, and he won't," he said, his voice a low grumble in his chest. "What happened tonight was in no way your fault. It was his, and the day he touches you again will be his last."

I swallowed after hearing the cryptic, cold promise, and it felt like I was trying to choke down dust. Sasuke had spoken it with such conviction that I found it hard to doubt, and I wasn't sure if I felt relief or worry. Fugaku was Sasuke's father, hearing him speak so callously about him...it was jarring. What had happened to make Sasuke hate his own parent so much?

Reaching up, I carded my fingers through Sasuke's hair to push it from his face. His eyed widened some, appearing taken aback. "Don't put yourself in danger," I murmured, concerned by the thought of Fugaku ever (or having ever) hurt Sasuke. I may not remember much of what it was like to have parents, or what that relationship should look like, but I believed Mikoto was a shining example, and Fugaku was a walking example of a failure.

Sasuke took a sharp inhale as he stared at me for a moment, and I blinked sleepily, the exhaustion having seeped into my bones finally. Eventually, Sasuke closed his eyes, exhaling and sagging. "We need to get you to bed, you need to sleep. You'll feel better in the morning," he said, and I was reminded that my back was a bit of a disaster. The medicine had numbed it so much I'd almost forgotten. I worried then that it might wear off at some point in the night, but my eyes were already slipping shut, my fatigue outweighing my anxiety. That was quite a feat, considering my anxiety was like a shrieking banshee waving a burning axe at all times.

Leaning up, I pressed a kiss to Sasuke's forehead, a gentle press of my lips before I slipped down and let my head rest against his chest. The bed was a step or two away, but that was too far, and I was too comfortable right where I was. Distantly, I felt a hand on my back and a light pressure on the top of my head. Through the oncoming haze of slumber, Sasuke's voice rumbled vaguely.

"What am I going to do with you?"

* * *

 I stared at the collapsed woman in my arms, her lax expression softening into contentment as she huddled closer. The towel and blanket were still tangled up around her, but I couldn't leave her like that to freeze in the night. Of course, that confronted me with the realization that I'd neglected getting her most of what she needed. She'd borrowed a couple of things that my mother no longer wore, but that wasn't going to suit her forever. Faced with my own irresponsibility, I resigned myself to having to take a shopping trip sometime in the near future. Tomorrow would be best, if she was feeling up to it. The wounds were ugly and vicious, but our medicine was strong in both healing quality and pain management. With the bandages, she should be well enough for a few hours out. It might do her good, to get out of this place for a while. I wouldn't be keen on staying, myself.

With a heavy sigh, I set about untangling Amaya from the cocoon of cloth she was wrapped up in. It took a few minutes and more than a few choice words before I got us both up, abandoning the mess on the floor for fear it'd clutch at us again. Setting her on the bed, I was careful to set her on her side. The bandages were tight around her torso, providing her with some modesty, at least. I found an older shirt that wasn't an uncomfortable formal one and would hopefully present her some more comfort. A part of me was impressed with how heavily she was out, not even twitching when I dressed her in the shirt and slid her beneath the sheets; another part was somewhat unnerved.

I was hesitant to leave her, even for only a few minutes to see my brother. My reluctance felt justified, however frustrating. What if she woke up and panicked when she found herself alone?

I was standing halfway between the bed and the door in indecision when a knock came from the door. A fond smirk took over my previous scowl, trust Itachi to have impeccable timing. As I got to the door to find him leaning against the opposite wall, something about him screamed "off" to me, but I couldn't pinpoint what it was. He was put together, nothing out of place but the glaze in his eyes that I only attributed to wariness. "Will you two be needing anything?" Itachi asked, and, not for the first time, I wondered if my brother could somehow perceive my thoughts.

Shaking off my suspicions, I gave him a nod. "I haven't gotten her proper clothes yet, and with one of her few outfits shredded, we need to pick some up." I'd been unfair, leaving her without basic things of her own. I was trying to better the rocky understanding between us, but it was still lagging.

Itachi didn't comment on my negligence, to my relief. He only cocked his head in agreement. "I'll give you a ride tomorrow, if she's up to it. I'm sure she's resting, now?"

"Hopefully through the night," I responded, rubbing the back of my neck. "Will Alex be going?" I assumed Itachi had already seen to the younger ibrida's needs, but I assumed Alex would want to come with. The image of the stricken, panicked teenager still made me sick. The things he'd screamed at me were still stuck with me, too, and I couldn't blame him for any of it. I was the one who had to protect his sister, and I'd failed him. Had the roles been reversed, Itachi would have killed anyone who'd allowed harm to come to me. Alex had every right to his rage.

To my surprise and slight discomfort, Itachi's lips twitched up in a vague smirk before he schooled his expression into neutrality once more. "I'm afraid not," Itachi explained, the epitome of calm, "Alex is…confined to the bed, for the time being."

I slammed the door in my brother's face. Of all the things I'd never asked to know. Of all the dangerous, reckless choices he could have made. What was he going to do when our family learned he'd taken a mate—and it was far from any of the choices they had lined up for him?

My head spun with all the vindictive violence of a tornado. I would defend my brother to the grave, and now, by extension, Alex as well. My brother had made his choice, and I knew he would never allow anyone to attempt changing it.

Head still spinning, I crept into bed with all the grace of a palsied cat, too drained and stressed to bother with being careful. Amaya wouldn't awaken for anything less than an atomic bomb by that point, I was sure. Settling down, I let myself close my eyes, lulled into relaxing by the steady sound of Amaya breathing beside me. She was like an anchor reeling me away from the deep, roiling chaos I was so wont to feeling lost in. Absently, I reached out and grazed the backs of my knuckles against her back.

I was as big a fool as my brother.


	10. Chapter 10

It was unusually warm for it being a winter morning, and that was no incentive for me to want to get up. I groaned in protest and huddled backwards, pressing further into the inviting comfort. The blankets that swathed around me shifted and a quiet chuckle rumbled behind me, sending a startled shudder down my back. I started to turn over, but the twinging in my back made me think better of that stupid choice, and instead I slowly pulled myself into a sitting position. My flesh felt sore and raw, stinging like I'd suffered a burn, but it was not the raging inferno it had been yesterday. If anything, that comforted me with the knowledge that I was healing, and that it wouldn't be too long before it was nothing but a memory. A traumatizing one, perhaps, but left in the dust all the same.

Tentative fingers touched my shoulder, as if they were afraid the lightest touch might make me crumble. "It's fine," I said automatically, filling in an answer for the question Sasuke hadn't yet voiced. I glanced over my shoulder at him to offer a wan smile, but the shaky reassurance never quite made it to my lips. Through the fog of sleep, I'd only begun to register that the warmth I'd been struggling to burrow closer to had been Sasuke. We'd never shared the bed before last night, and waking up to see his disheveled, still drowsy appearance made my heartbeat stutter. I couldn't recall ever seeing him sleep. The thought that he'd stayed beside me the whole night was (though it should be far from) comforting, and I felt some of the weight of my distress seeping out of my muscles. Nothing could befall me if Sasuke was at my side, I'd come to trust that.

"Come on, we need to get more medicine on and change the bandage," Sasuke's raspy, half-awake voice reminded me of early morning, distant thunder. Getting up and gritting my teeth through all that didn't sound appealing, but the promise of soothing numbness did, and that was what drew my reluctant body out of the bed. I hissed as I stood, the skin on my back prickling with pain as I moved and stretched. Sasuke was beside me in moments, holding out his arm. I accepted the help to steady myself, but despite my gratefulness, I was clenching my teeth too hard to voice it. I could only follow him to the bathroom where I slipped the shirt off, leaned my hands against the counter, and held on with all my strength. I wasn't sure how prepared I could be, but there wasn't anything I could do about it.

To Sasuke's credit, he was as careful as I think anyone could manage while peeling away the bloodied bandages. I sucked in a sharp breath through my grit teeth as the bandage pulled away from my torn flesh, unraveling from around my torso and reminding me of rather macabre streamers. I couldn't bring myself to feel uncomfortable in my nudity like I thought I would, my head was buzzing with too many other worries to cope with. Sasuke hadn't commented, so I felt no need for distress. This was clinical, necessary, and there was no room to find shame in that.

The medicine burned something fierce the moment it touched the ugly crevasses of my flesh, but within seconds the wonderful numbing had dulled my senses into something just short of useless. I groaned low in my throat, a rumble between distress and relief as the medicine worked its way into my skin. Sasuke was silent in his diligence, until the fresh coating of the gel and new bandages were applied and I was once again feeling like a half-mummified wreck. Drying his hands off on a towel, Sasuke looked at me through the mirror, as I'd yet to brave standing straight again. "We need to get you new clothes today," he told me warily, like he was delivering bad news. I wasn't too keen on the idea of any sort of traveling while like this, but I was even less enthralled at the idea of living without proper clothes. The prospect of finally owning things of my own that weren't rags or sizes above or below my own was too tempting to put up an argument.

Besides, Sasuke couldn't stay inside the bedroom forever, and I didn't want to be left alone in it. Not for a while.

"I'm not trying to disagree, but I'll at least need something to go to the shops in," I pointed out. Sasuke snorted at my dry logic, but I should've known better than to think he didn't have a plan. Of course, when he tossed a pair of his jeans and a belt at me, I wasn't sure I'd consider it a "good" plan so much as "well, I tried my best" in a sense. They were awkward to step into and attempt to cinch up around my waist. Again, as I've stated, I'm not a small girl by any means, but Sasuke was taller and that didn't make wearing the damn pants easy. I changed while Sasuke had his back turned to me, though it was a little challenging (and honestly, pointless) to rush. I put on the same shirt I'd slept in, unable to find it in me to care. I already looked like a wayward orphan, why not fulfill my part wholly?

"We're going to be lucky if we make it through the day without any public indecency charges," I grumbled, awkwardly shuffling down the stairs in my effort not to trip.

"What cop is stupid enough to weasel into my business?" Sasuke drawled from behind me. Fine, he had me there. Maybe we'd still meet some greenie who was trying to be brave.

The endeavor downstairs ended without any "toppling headfirst" incidents, luckily. Itachi and Mikoto both were in the living area, discussing in hushed voices that ceased the moment Sasuke and I stepped foot into the room. The pair of piteous, guarded eyes that settled onto me felt as heavy and sticky as pools of tar. I regretted being ambitious today, I should've locked myself away in the bathroom again.

"How are your wounds?" Itachi was the one who broke the silence, and I didn't appear to be the only one taken aback by it.

Stammering, my own voice tried to choke me when I answered. "They're healing, at least they're better than yesterday," I said, reaching back with absent fingers. "I've never seen such powerful remedies at work, I can't express how grateful I am to you," I lowered my head in a small bow towards Mikoto, for without her I was sure I'd be in much worse shape. The memory of last night was fuzzy, and would always remain that way. I didn't want it any other way, but I knew how much they all had helped to save my life. I no longer had it in me to find those vestiges of suspicion or lingering hatred, not after seeing how far Sasuke was willing to go for someone like me. Someone who was only a promise of trouble.

Mikoto smiled warmly, if sadly. "Our family has strong ties with the best medicinal care the country can provide," she explained. "I can't promise you won't scar, but the wounds should close soon, and it will at least soothe the pain until then. I heard you three are going out for a little while today?" Mikoto asked, aiming a pointed look at Sasuke that didn't look like it was entirely curiosity.

Sasuke crossed his arms as he nodded his affirmation, and Mikoto's smile tightened some with trepidation entering her tired eyes. "Stay safe. Alex and I will have some peace and quiet, then," she said, excusing herself from the room. It was news to be that my brother wouldn't be coming along, and I wasn't sure I was comfortable with leaving Alex without Itachi, but I soon realized that thought was a little insulting to Mikoto. I wasn't doubtful that she would keep Alex safe, I was only doubtful of Fugaku.

"It's best to leave early, while the medicine is still fresh." Itachi's voice startled me out of my trench of paranoia, and I realized he'd already stood and was gathering a jingling set of keys. "Besides, I'm sure you both want to get it out of the way."

I grumbled in assent as Itachi stepped past me on his way out of the living room. Sasuke rested a hand on my shoulder, the touch was so soft I almost hadn't noticed it at all. "Are you sure you can handle going out right now?" he asked, and I teetered between gratitude for his concern and annoyance that he found me that fragile.

"It's better than hiding away forever. I'm not going to give anyone that satisfaction," I said, perhaps snapping a bit more than I meant to. Sasuke didn't deserve my misgivings, but he was the only person I knew wouldn't crumble under them.

He gave my shoulder a careful squeeze. "I think you've done a good job of taking that away from him. He doesn't like it when they don't break." I could hear the smirk in Sasuke's voice, mirroring the one that curved my own lips. I don't break, I crack, and it only made me stronger.

I'd started to take my leave, but while rounding the corner towards the front door, I came face to face with someone else and almost ran into them. A gasp leapt into my throat at the unexpected appearance, and I whipped my head back to look up at the imposing man before me. His eyes narrowed into a scowl. For a moment, the lighting in the hallway glinting off the pendant around his neck made me mistake it for a knife. "Watch where you're going," the man snapped, his voice harsh like he was admonishing a beast.

I didn't take kindly to such brazen commands from a complete stranger. My hair bristled in anticipation, but as much as I wanted to, I never got the chance to say anything back. Sasuke, with a hand on the back of my neck, cut in on my behalf. "Hidan, leave her be. You have business elsewhere, I suggest you tend to it." The cryptic words were spoken so calmly, even I almost missed the underlying threat in them. The man, Hidan, snorted at the display, his eyes passing between us before he decided it wasn't going to be worth it. Sasuke coaxed me forward, but he didn't remove his hand. I wasn't sure I found it as uncomfortable as I should have, but I was starting to feel that way about too many things to track it anymore. "Don't try to start anything with him, that's not a fight you're going to win."

That sounded like a challenge...to someone who wasn't looking like a shredded ribbon. "Sure. I'd hate for him to beat me with that pendant," I grumbled. As petulant and odd as it sounded, some part of me itched for instigation. I was sick of being the weakest link, of having the disadvantages. I wanted to not feel vulnerable for a while, but the only thing around here I seemed capable of intimidating was a rock.

"Far be it for him to try, yeah," an unfamiliar voice chimed in. Startled by the newcomer, I froze mid-step towards the door, where Itachi was standing with a younger blond man. He looked closer to my age, though he managed to make me feel like I was standing under the scrutiny of someone much younger. "This is the girl? Shit, you've already almost killed her—"

Itachi drove his elbow into his friend's side, effectively cutting off his sentence. "Forgive Deidara, he doesn't have much of a filter," Itachi sighed, reaching to take his coat off the rack. Sasuke stood to the side, his arms folded as he scowled at the blond man.

"Why's he going?" Sasuke asked, his distasteful expression darkening when Deidara smirked at him. The growing tension was putting me off, but Itachi hardly seemed to notice it as he slipped out the door to pull the car around.

He did call his answer over his shoulder. "Because neither of us is familiar with shopping for women, if Amaya wants to stand a chance she'll need someone with her."

I don't remember agreeing to getting handed off to a stranger, even if Itachi appeared to trust him. Deidara cocked his head at Sasuke and his hair shifted to the side, revealing a patch covering one of his eyes. I swallowed my surprise out of fear that bringing it up would result in annoying—or worse, offending—the young man.

"You aren't exactly known for your fashion tastes, un," Deidara shook his head with mock sorrow. "Besides, it was my turn to meet her. I had a bet on how long it'd be before you killed her, but it looks like everyone lost on that one, yeah." Deidara cut his eyes towards me again, but unlike the fleeting glances I'd grown so used to, his was deliberate. I felt a lot like a butterfly pinned to the wall when he straightened up and began to approach me, his hand extended and reached for my hair. He picked up a lock of my hair and let it slip through his fingers. "You have some red hair," he mused, his fingers gliding up to brush against my ears, where they twitched under the careful skimming of his fingertips.

"Thanks, I grew it myself," I mumbled, weary from all the excitement and new faces.

Deidara dropped his hand away from me and turned towards Sasuke with an air of exasperation. "Are they both nothing but sarcastic little brats?"

"You started it," Sasuke shrugged. Deducing that Deidara must be familiar with Alex, I felt a sisterly pride welling inside me. If we shared anything, it was our crass love of sarcasm. If you couldn't wield a weapon, wield your words, right?

When the three of us headed out to clamber into Itachi's car, the first thing I noticed everyone did was reach for the safety handles above the doors. Stricken with a sudden sense of paranoia, I shot Sasuke a look of utter confusion when he wrapped his hand around my wrist, holding it tightly as Itachi backed out of the yard. The second he put his foot on the accelerator, I understood why everyone had braced themselves.

Had Sasuke not been holding onto me, I'd have cracked my head against the window.

* * *

A few hours and a couple of shopping bags later, I was still pretty sure my legs were shaking from the speed-devil way Itachi drove. The worst part was no one would ever believe it, had they not ridden with him. He was too calm to be someone who didn't fear the gods or death when behind the wheel. Behind me, Sasuke was dragging his feet, even less enthused with Itachi's driving than I was.

"I can't believe you bought the entire store for less than two hundred dollars," Sasuke said dryly, eying the bags.

Beside me, Deidara shrugged. "You think my only talent is arson, yeah? I'm wounded. At least you won't have to worry about shopping for the next two years."

I was glad for that, but also somewhat intimidated by the way the older man had marched me around the store like a militarized mission was at stake. He'd banished the two brothers off on their own during the trip. There were also a couple of things Deidara had persuaded me into agreeing to get that I wasn't quite keen on. It only meant I stuffed the bags in the trunk before Sasuke got the chance to check what was in them.

Fortunately for my life span, Deidara was quick to stop Itachi from climbing into the driver's seat as we were all getting into the car. "No, you're done. I'm driving home," the blond snapped, brooking no argument. Itachi sat, sullen, a reluctant passenger as Deidara backed out of our parking space. He drove with a much greater sense of mortality, though I had to admit, it wasn't quite as much fun.

"It's my car," Itachi pointed out in a weak argument, and I found myself covering my hand to smother a laugh. Sasuke didn't quite manage to hide a smirk of his own, but Itachi was too busy giving his friend the side-eye to look back at us.

"Itachi," Deidara calmly responded, "there are children here who deserve to live a few more years before they die in a blaze of glory, yeah. I can take care of that when the time comes."

Sasuke rolled his eyes at what sounded vaguely like a threat to me, leaving me torn on whether I should feel horrified or not. Aside from the stewing tension in the front seat, the ride home was peaceful. My back had begun to sting with pain when I moved too much, and leaning against the seat was uncomfortable. I shifted some in hopes to alleviate some of it, but there was little hope. A cool palm rested over my thigh at the precise moment I felt panic bubbling in my chest, frightened at the oncoming pain and the memories it brought of the initial whipping.

I took a deep breath, Sasuke's hand served as an anchor to keep me from floating too far into the roiling tides of terror. It was such a subtle motion, he wasn't even looking at me, it was as if he'd sensed my approaching panic attack and put an end to it before it could grip me. He'd offered comfort, and I'd allowed myself to accept it. I was no longer sure if we were even the same people who'd met all those weeks ago. Suddenly, I wasn't even sure of how much time had passed, after all. It wasn't any different from the way I'd learned to lived; take each day at a time.

Sasuke never took his hand off my leg, and I never wished for him to. I was even regretful when we got back home, but that might've been due to my hesitance for all the movement.

"All right, kids. Time to get out, we've got some business to take care of, un." Deidara glanced in the rearview mirror and gave a two-fingered salute.

On my way inside, I could've sworn I heard Itachi mutter an indignant "You're only  _nineteen_!" at Deidara.

Sasuke was mumbling a few impolite things about the blond that I pretended not to listen to as we headed back to the bedroom. It was only around midday, and I was ready to collapse again. Instead, I had to pretend like I was holding it together, even if "it" was only there by a thread.

"Go ahead and get your stuff out, we can get the clothes washed." Sasuke was already reaching for one of the bags to dump the contents out, and me, being the absolute oblivious wretch I was, thought nothing of it until I heard a snort from behind me. I glanced over my shoulder from my task of tearing open some plastic packing. In his hands, Sasuke held one of those things I'd earlier been so reluctant to buy.

It was a pack of too lacey, too revealing, far too fancy underwear. I hadn't grasped the concept of fancy underclothes, because I'd always thought they were private and no one else was going to be standing around to judge them. Apparently, my views were rather...incorrect. "He sneaked that past me after I told him no!" I exclaimed, cerise coloring my face.

"He's good for something, at least," Sasuke smirked, his head cocking to the side. Abashed and irritated, I snatched the pack from his grasp to bury it beneath another pile of clothes.

"We're going to pretend those don't exist, got it?" I warned Sasuke as I snapped the drawer shut, hoping my flushed face didn't negate my command.

"Watch your mouth," Sasuke retaliated, though I was sure it was more for habit's sake as his voice lacked any serious threat. The warmth of his body behind mine welcomed me to I lean back against the inviting comfort. My concept of boundaries had thinned, but for the time being, I was content to chalk it up to the vulnerability that last night had left me with. I needed Sasuke's steadfast, unwavering strength. He grounded me and kept me from sinking or floating out of reach. In return, I think I was noticing changes in him, too. The way he smiled and laughed freely, and the tentative sharing of parts of himself. He revealed pieces of a genuine young man hidden behind a shell of armor that he'd all but been born into. If Sasuke was my gravity, perhaps I was his wings.

Sasuke lowered his mouth towards my throat, the feather-light touch of his lips against my pulse drawing out a hunger of my own. It wasn't quite primal, it was equally a hunger for the comfort, the intimacy that I knew his closeness could bring. "Your heart is racing," Sasuke murmured. I groaned in response, a pleasant tingling thrumming across my neck. I leaned to the side, tilting my head over my shoulder. There was a moment of hesitance when neither of us moved, and I realized we both were still afraid of what we'd ventured into. No sooner had I recognized the pause, Sasuke's lips were grazing against mine, pressing a kiss against my mouth. His hand landed on my hip, and I allowed myself the pleasure of enjoying the touch and the way it soothed away my worries.

All the same, it fueled many more.

A commotion downstairs was the only reason Sasuke and I broke apart from each other. If not for that, I'm not sure anything short of oxygen starvation would have. I was still craving the release of sleep, if only as an excuse to become oblivious to the returning pain and to the anxiety churning in my chest. I was being as reckless as Alex had been, and I'd dared to chide him for it. I couldn't bring myself to place Sasuke or his status in peril because of my own selfish, wishful wants. I had to put a stop to it, I just wasn't sure how.

Sasuke hadn't moved far even after we'd pulled away from the kiss, his lips hovering over mine as if he wanted to ignore what was happening below us and continue what we'd been doing. I wasn't sure I wanted to, and part of that was, ironically,  _because_  of how much I wanted to. I was uncertain about what it would lead to, though, and that was another roadblock I wasn't yet ready to cross.

"It's Naruto," Sasuke sighed, his breath fanning across my trembling mouth. As he straightened, I felt myself leaning with him, only to catch myself before I could chase another kiss.  _You really have to pull yourself together._  "I'm sure he'll want to see you, if only to ensure you're still alive." Sasuke's bitter remark had no business being so petty, given the circumstances, we would have liked very much to rip out each other's throats some weeks ago.

I clung to that thought on my way downstairs, trailing some behind Sasuke. After all, how could I fall for someone I'd once hated? People couldn't change, not that much...I couldn't.

Hardly before Sasuke had taken the last step off the staircase, a loud voice boomed a greeting. "Long time no see!" Naruto beamed. For someone so loud, I was surprised I hadn't noticed him first. "It's good to see you out and about! I guess the old "locking the girl in the tower" tales don't do it for you, eh bastard?"

A rumbling growl, though quiet, made me hesitate behind Sasuke and allow him a few steps ahead of me. Even when the harsh sound wasn't directed towards me, I couldn't help the way my heart skipped a beat, nor the way I suddenly felt the want to run away. Naruto, the person the sound was actually directed at, only smiled at his friend with all the wiliness of a cat. Their relationship was perplexing. Try as I might, I couldn't picture the two meeting and becoming friends, despite the obvious closeness before me. No one who didn't love Sasuke would trust him enough to irritate him that way, I was sure. Sasuke was the type to make sure that those who annoyed him wouldn't repeat the offense, but Naruto got away with it; more than that, it amused him.

In the blond's hand, there was a brown satchel that he held out for Sasuke to take. "Here's the medicines your mother asked for." Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, wariness souring his expression. "Sakura said the ingredients are getting harder to find, most of them grow in forests on the other side of the border. The treaty is still in consideration, but it's looking good for now."

I stood to the side, pondering the past few weeks that, though I wasn't privy to the goings-on, had been full of Sasuke's business with endless papers and hushed conversations. The two cities that shared the border had been rife with tension for longer than I'd been alive, though it'd worsened over the past decade and there had been more fighting over land and resources. This city was known colloquially as "the city of the dark" and our neighbor as "the city of the light" by most citizens. The Uchiha family ran this city, but I couldn't remember who led in the city of light. It had been too long.

"Give them time, Naruto. It isn't a small decision," Sasuke said, his free hand resting on Naruto's shoulder as he accepted the bag. "It isn't her choice alone, she has people whose voices she has to listen to, just as we do. I'll take this to my mother, do me a favor and stay with Amaya until I get back."

Sasuke was gone before either Naruto or I could say anything. Not that I thought Naruto had a problem with it, but how could you not feel guilty when someone was basically told to babysit you?

Naruto glanced at me and nodded his head towards the living room, prompting me to follow his lead, where he plopped down onto the couch. "Things seem better than when I was last here," Naruto offered conversationally. I was more careful as I took my seat, mindful of how slow I needed to move.

I snorted. That was a bit of an understatement. "It feels like too much has changed in way too short a time span," I admitted. "I didn't see myself starting to find Sasuke…tolerable." That was an even bigger understatement, but it wasn't one Naruto had to be in on.

To my surprise, Naruto laughed. "Yeah, he's good at that," the blond grinned. "I've known him almost my whole life, and I still can't believe I'm friends with him, sometimes."

Picturing the two of them as children together was a difficult thought. I could see how two kids could get forced together easier than the idea of them befriending one another on their own terms. "I can't picture Sasuke as a child," I chuckled. "How did you two meet?" My curiosity got the better of me. It was still tedious pulling information out of Sasuke, whereas I knew Naruto was about as open as a book.

"Our mothers were best friends, once. Both my parents passed away not long after I was born, and I ended up sent out here so that I wouldn't get targeted, too." Naruto leaned back in the couch, his arms folding as he recounted the story to me. "I was born in the city 'a light. When I came here, Sasuke's mom helped take care of me alongside a couple of nursemaids. Course, that meant Sasuke and I had to spend a lotta time with each other. Like ya said, it's hard for him not to grow on you," Naruto snickered. I couldn't disagree, though Naruto had worded it more lightly than I would've. "He's not the heartless asshole he'd want most to believe, y'know? A lot of his personality is conditioning."

I shivered at the sobered tone of Naruto's voice, a faint image of Sasuke's father flashing in my mind's eye. It was such a brief, vivid image than when I heard his voice, I thought it was in my head.

"It's been some time since I last saw you, Naruto. It's nice to see you." Fugaku's voice washed over me like a bucket of ice water. I sat stock still, not even my chest moving with breath, while Fugaku entered the room. I could feel his eyes boring into me without needing to turn around. "I recall telling you animals don't belong on the furniture," he stated, the words dripping with poison.

My face burned as I slipped off the couch to kneel on the floor, my voice stuck somewhere in my throat. From the corner of my eye, I saw Naruto shift forward, but I never found out what it was he might've done. A shadow fell over me then, standing between me and Fugaku.

"I warned you once." Sasuke seethed, his voice an enraged hiss. I held my head lowered, but couldn't resist the urge to glance to the side, where Fugaku backed a step away from us. "Get out of my sight, I don't want to see you near her again."

With wide eyes, I held my breath while Fugaku paused for a moment. He spared me a look that left my stomach churning even after he'd left. The shock from seeing him combined with that of seeing him obey Sasuke's command, his own son. Sasuke reached down and took my wrist, more lifting me than helping me up.

"There's a special place in hell for him," Naruto groused, his own voice coming out as a bit of a hiss. I hadn't noticed that both men's fangs had elongated, a defensive reflex for most vampires, especially for younger ones. When extended, a vampire's fangs made their voices sound hissy and they had to speak carefully to avoid cutting their own tongue or lips. "Why does he have it out for her?"

Sasuke's eyes glinted when they shot towards me, and I realized with jarring understanding that Sasuke didn't understand why, either. "It's in his blood, he's treated everyone below him this way." Sasuke pulled me away from the couch and nudged me towards the stairs. "He isn't going to get away with it anymore, not as long as Itachi and I are around. I appreciate you delivering the medicines, but I'm taking her upstairs, it's been a long day."

"Don't worry about it. Just remember the deal we had as kids, eh? You need someone to hide a body, I gotcha covered." Naruto winked at Sasuke, who smiled eerily in turn at the inside joke. I tried to imagine that same smile on a small Sasuke, but still the image of the vampire as a child eluded me.

Halfway up the stairs, I exhaled a slow sigh. "I'm sorry," I murmured, quietly enough that I thought Sasuke might not have heard. I wanted him to, but that hope that he hadn't still bloomed until Sasuke glanced at me.

"What do you have to apologize for?" he asked. It jarred me. There'd been a time that Sasuke had once commanded apologies from me.

Stepping back into the bedroom had been what I'd wanted all day, but it lacked the comfort I thought it'd bring. "Everything." Nothing. "I've been nothing but trouble since I got here. I don't want to place tension between you and your family, Sasuke…what we've been doing isn't something that should go on." It hurt more than I could've anticipated, saying those words. I had wanted Sasuke to be the one to put an end to the meek version of a dalliance we'd been tiptoeing around.

Sasuke's sharp intake of air made me turn around, unable to keep my back to him. I'd been afraid looking at him would break my resolve. I'd been right to fear that.

Sasuke's eyes were red, pinning me to the wall with a gaze so heavy it all but suffocated me. "Do you think I care what they think?" Sasuke shook his head. "What  _he_  thinks? It isn't anyone's choice or business but ours. I thought you were braver than that."

Affronted, I narrowed my eyes and gestured towards him. "I'm not afraid of what happens to me, I'm afraid of what happens to you!" Sasuke's eyes widened, and he made to interrupt, but I never gave him the chance. I stormed forward, pointing a finger into Sasuke's chest. This all felt rather familiar. "I won't forgive myself if you ever got hurt, if you suffered because of one reckless choice. You have a title to live up to, Sasuke, one that doesn't involve a servant from the streets!"

I was too lost in my own head to notice I had begun yelling, my voice rising in octave with each passing second. I'd only stopped to suck in a weak breath when a pair of arms threw around me. Sasuke's arms wrapped around me so tightly, I was afraid he might crush me, like he was afraid to let go. I could feel the anger shaking in his limbs, the uncertainty, and the fear. I wasn't the only one who was afraid.

"This is too much, Sasuke. It's too far out of our control," I whispered against his shoulder, too exhausted to try fighting his embrace. "I don't know what we can do."

"No one else is going to take that power away from me," Sasuke argued, and why would I have expected him to let anyone else have control? Even a shred? "I told you I would keep you safe, that I would stay beside you. I don't intend to let anyone stand in the way of that."

"Including me?" I smiled, be it a weak one, it was still a smile. Sasuke tightened his arms around my waist and I felt a weight atop my head when he lowered his forehead to rest against my hair.

"I try very hard not to need other people." Sasuke's confession was muffled, but still clear enough for me to hear. "I don't know what it is about you, but…I don't know what I'd do if you left, too."

My chest tightened painfully. I was lucky that I didn't choke on a sob right there, so overwhelmed by my own emotions as much as Sasuke's. I had never seen him so vulnerable, and it felt like too fragile a gift. I couldn't fathom the people who had only used Sasuke or saw his status instead of a person; his own father had raised a weapon, a pawn instead of a son. I couldn't be one of those people, I couldn't be someone who abandoned him.

I wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug, burying my fingers in his dark hair as I held him. I was going to break the very promise I'd made to myself, and it was by making another one. "Whatever happens, we're in this together," I swore, shifting so that my face was buried against Sasuke's neck. I pressed a kiss against the smooth expanse of skin, hoping that if my words wouldn't soothe him, perhaps action would.

Sasuke shuddered, his hands sliding lower to my hips. A growl rumbled between us, it took me a second to realize it had come from me, this time. Sasuke's fingers dug into my skin in response, struggling to pull me impossibly closer. I pulled back only to surge forward and press our lips together, claiming his mouth in a kiss. Sasuke's teeth nipped at my lips a bit, but when I let my own part, he pulled away. I groaned in frustration, but Sasuke quieted me by cupping my face, coaxing me to focus.

"I don't want to force you into anything, if you feel—"

I tightened my fingers in his hair, earning a low moan that cut off his voice. It was a surprisingly beautiful sound, one that I would do anything to hear again. "I'm the one who started it," I reminded him. "If we're going to break the rules, I want to do it right." I wanted to give and I wanted to take. Sasuke's eyes darkened, losing their hesitance as something more primal filled that reluctance. "I want you to belong to me. I want to belong to you, Sasuke."

It was a brazen wish, I realized, as Sasuke lowered his mouth to the mark on my throat. It throbbed, but it was far from a painful feeling. Warmth spread from my neck, trickling through my veins until I felt nothing but fire inside. With his teeth grazing against my neck, Sasuke smirked.

"You already do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got flashbacks of my own best friend when Itachi reminded Deidara he was only nineteen years old. My friend is a few months younger than me, but he'll never miss a chance to refer to me as "kid" and treat me like I need his supervision. Like, I do, but he doesn't have to act like it.
> 
> I didn't rewrite the sexual content in this story because I've found I don't really enjoy writing it anymore. It used to be nearly all of what I wrote, now I try to avoid it unless it's really necessary. I'm sorry! Maybe someday I'll come back and write a sex scene. Until then, though, it just feels like the story doesn't need it. I mean...we all know it happened.


	11. Chapter 11

_Yellow. Sickly, citrine yellow that reminds me of a sticky sap, the kind that lured and trapped small animals. I feel as stuck as a helpless bee, falling into the vortex of yellow. Even when I blink, I see nothing but that infernal color, like it wants to swallow me whole._

_Beyond the wretched yellow, I can feel the cold touch of clammy skin against mine. Bloodless fingertips touch my throat and press into the bite scar, drawing a shriek from my lips as I begin thrashing. No matter how frantic my movement, how violent, I fail to escape the burning claws._

_In my ears, pounding as they are, a sinister laugh echoes. Goosebumps cover my skin, a bubbling nausea frothing in my gut. I blink again, but this time, I realized I'm blinking my eyes open._

_That awful yellow, the pallid flesh of a hand cupping my face. My chest heaves with panic, had I been able to drag any air inside, I would be screaming. Maybe I am, past the ringing in my ears. The yellow creeps closer, and try as I might to lean back, I remain held in place. I can't shut my eyes this time, gazing right into the maw of the splitting grin in front of me._

" _Did you miss me?"_

* * *

I flinched awake with a sharp intake of air, feeling as if I'd just taken a plunge off the house and had woken up seconds before hitting the ground. I attempted to sit up, but a tight lock around my waist prevented me from getting very far. Briefly, I struggled, panicked by being immobilized. A drowsy mumble muffled against my shoulder soothed my distress. I murmured an apology to my half-asleep mate, though I didn't feel too guilty. His lack of being a morning person didn't fail to amuse me.

"You have to get up anyway," I whispered, to which Sasuke only sighed. He'd spoken about the meeting today for about a week, to the point it had gotten ingrained into my memory, too, not least because I didn't want him to go. It would be the first time in a couple of weeks that Sasuke had left me alone. He'd sworn his father wouldn't be in the house today, busy with his own work. That didn't shrink my anxiety. Even when the marks on my flesh had healed, they'd sunk past my skin and left scars that would take longer to get over.

Sasuke dragged himself out of the bed, his disheveled appearance often made me question how he managed to appear so graceful and composed the rest of the time. Vampires were painted as far too regal for Sasuke to be such a reluctant mess in the mornings. I stretched out on the mattress once Sasuke had left, slinking out of bed myself. "Are you sure you'll be all right today?" Sasuke asked, his voice raspy with sleep as he took his clothes from the dresser. It was the nth time he'd asked, but I appreciated the concern enough to not roll my eyes.

"It'll be fine, Sasuke," I promised. "Put your worries on the meeting. They'll need your focus." I slipped past Sasuke to get dressed, purposely skimming past him. I trusted Sasuke's diplomatic skills enough to know he would be fine, but it was his father I didn't trust. He put too much on both his sons' shoulders, leaving them to clean up any mess he made and to answer the questions didn't sit well with me.

Once I'd left the bathroom, looking semi-presentable, Sasuke was already downstairs. I found it easier to take a second to breathe without him hovering around me; if I were to show even a shred of my uncertainty, Sasuke would try and stay behind, and I couldn't have that. I already battled with my own guilt about our relationship, if he were to start throwing responsibility because of me, we'd never be allowed to stay this way. I liked the way things were, I couldn't fathom anything else changing when so much already had.

I was surprised to see my brother sitting at the kitchen table when I arrived—well, sitting was something of an overstatement. Slouched would be more appropriate, with the contorted way he sat bent in his chair, his forehead dropped against the table. I almost didn't want to take a seat for fear I'd disrupt him, but he hardly flinched at the scrape of my chair. "Rough morning?" I asked. He groused something that sounded suspiciously like "shut up" to me. I wondered how annoyed he'd be if I pointed out that he and Sasuke had much more in common than I believe either of them would want to admit.

While Alex was busy being face-down against the table, I took it upon myself to steal some of the food from his plate. "Are they both leaving?" I asked, figuring the only reason Alex would be up this early would be to see Itachi off. There had been talk of both men going, but it hadn't been a final decision.

"Their father ordered them both to be present," Alex raised his head to look at me. "Itachi wanted to go, anyway. Sasuke isn't the most even-tempered, but he's cunning. They balance each other out. Also, paws off my breakfast," he snapped, waving my hand away from his plate. It wasn't like he'd been too invested in it. From the corner of my eye, I saw a shadow moving into the room. It took a second for me to realize it was Itachi, but it took five for my heart to stop racing.

"We'll try not to take too long, it shouldn't take too much time." Itachi bent to press a kiss to my brother's forehead. An instinctual part of me bristled, something I suspected may never vanish altogether, no matter how much I knew Itachi wasn't a threat, not to Alex. Old habits die hard, and mine were proving themselves immortal.

Cool fingertips grasped my chin and tilted my face up, where Sasuke laid a kiss against my mouth. "Try to stay out of trouble, I'll be back as soon as I can," he murmured.

"No promises," I grinned. "I know you'll do great, don't worry about things here. We'll take care of it." My brave front only seemed to appear when I needed to be strong for someone else's sake. I'd take what I could get. I watched the two men leave, avoiding the scathingly arrogant look I could feel my brother aiming at my back. "I don't want to hear it Alex," I warned him, my ears lowering down in annoyance.

"I remember feeling that exact same way not too long ago," Alex remarked snidely, his fork pointed at me. "What was it? 'We can't break the law or jeopardize their status' wasn't it?"

For someone I loved so much, I couldn't stand my brother. "It's selfish and reckless," I retaliated, forever mindful of the dangers such a relationship brought, "but I'm starting to care less and less." I wasn't sure how awful of a person that made me. Alex's wicked smile didn't diminish that guilt much.

"Sorry to say, but after all the shit I've put up with, I'm in the mood to be a little selfish." Alex cocked his head with a wink as he stood, whisking away his cleared plate to the sink. "We never cared about obeying the law before, I'm not about to start, now. Are you really going to let someone rip away your happiness because of a few old-fashioned assholes?"

"You need to learn a more eloquent way of speaking if you're going to live up to your new life," I muttered, taking my leave of the dining room and the foul-mouthed rant. Breaking rules back when we were kids had served a different purpose; we'd needed to eat, needed to survive. I don't think I'd call a broken heart a matter of survival. I'd likely change my mind if one of us got jailed for pursuing a relationship with the men who, legally, owned us as one would an animal. Itachi and Sasuke both could attempt normalizing our lives all they wanted.

"Maybe you should learn not to walk away from people talking to you." I started when Alex bumped into my shoulder, nudging me to sit on the couch. He draped himself across the arm of the sofa, fulfilling his catlike lineage with limp grace. "You're honestly afraid, aren't you?" Alex asked, his sarcasm melding into genuine empathy. "What do you think is going to happen? Do you think for a second that they would let anyone take us away? Sasuke would kill them for it."

My hand wandered to comb my fingers through Alex's hair. It had gotten a little longer, I realized as I let it slide through my fingers. It was another reminder of the time that had passed. "It isn't only us I'm worried about," I confessed. "Itachi and Sasuke had their entire lives planned for them. They were born and bred to live up to their family's expectations, what are they going to do with us ripping all of that to shreds?" I worried the hem of my shirt with my free hand, a stray string catching on one of my fingernails. I wanted to pull on it and see if I could unravel the entire thing, much like I was trying to unravel my own head.

"You know you talk like they don't have a choice?" Alex's dry question made me snap out of my daze. Startled, I glanced down at him.

"I don't mean it like that, but—"

"But you do. You always think you have to fix everything, like you know what's best. Sometimes other people have a choice, too, and they chose us."

Alex sat up, balancing on the armrest in a way that would've made me fall flat on my face. His last words were ringing in my ears, almost deafening me.  _They chose us_. Whether it was a stupid choice or not, we were all stuck together in it. "Why does it feel like we were born into a whirlwind?" I said, my eyelids slipping closed.

Beside me, Alex huffed out a laugh. "I don't know, but I'd like to find the damned exit." I grinned in agreement, but the moment didn't last. It came to an abrupt, terrifying end. From behind us, the sound of shattering glass made my breath catch in my throat. The shards crinkled to the floor before heavy footsteps crunched over them, too loud in the silence that had fallen over the rest of the house. My heart jumped into my throat, but as I launched off the couch, the motion sent it careening through the floorboards. Alex was already on his feet, his gaze trained on the entryway. I nudged him behind me with an arm in front of him, a snarl already forming in my chest. The footsteps were coming closer. I had no means of protecting us, no means of defending either myself nor Alex against an intruder. Adrenaline was clouding my thoughts as I raced through my meager options, but I only had one that provided any hope. If one of us could make it out, we had a chance.

"Run," I breathed, ordering the command under my breath. Alex looked at me, stricken, his eyes widening in shock.

"I'm not leaving you behind!" he hissed, reaching out for my arm.

I yanked it back, gritting my teeth so hard it hurt. It was all I could do not to lose myself. It hurt to send Alex away, but it was my only hope of getting him out. We had no idea who had broken in or what they wanted, but I was willing to bet they weren't going to be very happy to see witnesses. "Go! Get out of here!" I snapped, this time shoving him towards the kitchen. "Find Mikoto and stay with her!"

Alex's eyes misted over with pain. It was the last I saw before he wrenched away, his clenched hands shaking as he darted for the kitchen. I watched him turn the corner right when the first shadow loomed out of the hallway. I felt frozen, glued to the floor with panic as a tower of a man lurched into the room, his teeth too big for his mouth when he sneered at me.

Swallowing around the cottony feeling in my mouth, I steeled myself against my terror. "I suggest you leave while you still can," I warned coldly. "You've already tripped the alarm, you've got five minutes if you want to get out in one piece." I supposed it was too much to hope Sasuke or Itachi would return before those five minutes were up.

Behind the beastly man came a soft, derisive chuckle. "There's no need to put on airs, Amaya. We both know you're lying."

Hearing my name from an unfamiliar voice made my hair stand on end. "Who are you?" I called, my voice was starting to rise. I took a step back when the owner of the voice circled around the larger man—this one was young, somewhere in his twenties. The light bounced off his glasses and cast an eerie glint.

"You spent so long trying to escape imprisonment," the young man tutted, his lips stretched into an ugly sneer. "Yet you ended up right where you belong, anyway. It's a shame how fate works, isn't it?" The man sighed as he walked towards me, his shoes clicking purposefully against the floor. For every step he took forward, I took one back, all the way until I felt the wall against my back. I pretended my shiver was from the cold surface.

"Time's ticking, four-eyes," I bared my teeth in a smirk, all false bravado and rage. "Fuck off and maybe I won't punch your glasses into your skull."

The smaller man raised his hands in mock surrender. "Temper," he admonished, the cryptic smile not wavering once. "Why not come quietly? Lord Orochimaru won't be pleased if I had to mark up his experiment."

_Ba-bum. Ba-bum._

Blood pounded in my ears. It had been years—the only time I'd heard the name was when I uttered it myself. I'd thought they'd forgotten about us, we were only two children among dozens of experiments. I had never thought I'd have to see another white-coated monster in my life.

I still didn't plan to. If I was going to get dragged back, I was going to break a few bones. I clenched my hands at my sides, prompting an eager rumble from the hulking man. The entire room shook as he stomped forward, his yellowing teeth bared in a grin. The bespectacled man sighed and shrugged, looking hardly put out. "Have it your way. Hotaru," the big man cracked his knuckles, "make sure she won't be able to put up much of a fight."

My fists and legs swung in a wild, aimless array of punches and kicks. Some landed against nothing but air, others collided against soft flesh or hard bone. Thick, calloused hands wrapped around my throat like an iron shackle, slamming me back against the wall hard enough to crush the air out of my lungs. The man grunted in pain with each hit I landed on him, but they did jack-shit in loosening his grip.

He balled his fist and punched me in the face suddenly, causing blood to fill my mouth and choke me. I spat a pink froth onto the floor, my head spinning as my body got yanked around and tossed haphazardly to the ground. I screamed in pain as a foot planted itself in my side, kicking me onto my stomach. Sweaty hands gripped my wrists and yanked them behind my back to tie them together, all while another hand buried in my hair and dragged my head up. I pried open one eye to glare at the young man who had taunted me; not a hair on him was out of place. "I warned you, didn't I? Don't let it be said I wasn't fair," he tisked, dropping my head back to the floor. "No sign of the boy, let's take the girl for now."

I thrashed and shrieked a rabid mess of threats and obscenities when I was slung over the orcish man's shoulder. The entire time he carried me out, I had to fight the urge to look up and make sure my brother hadn't come out of hiding. I didn't want to give the pair any idea that Alex had been home with me. I could do nothing but pray with all my heart that he had found a good hiding place and would stay there, safe, until Itachi came back. If Alex was safe, what happened to me didn't matter.

I wheezed out a pained curse as I got tossed into the bed of a van, the metal bed jarring every bone in my bruised body. Before the door slammed shut, I screamed a final promise of death towards my captors, for all the good it would do me. It wasn't until the engine had revved and I could hear gravel spinning from underneath the tires that I allowed my eyes to shut, burning tears having started to slip down my cheeks.

This was not a dream.

* * *

"What a brazen waste of our time," Itachi's voice was calm, but his knuckles were white on the steering wheel, belying his annoyance. It was, perhaps, an asinine choice on my part to allow Itachi to drive us back. Unfortunately, he had already gotten behind the wheel before I'd even reached the car. With the silent rage rolling off him in waves, I wasn't about to ask Itachi to move. The drive back gave me a little time to sort through the files we'd gotten, (at least the meeting hadn't been a total waste) when I wasn't clinging onto the safety handle above me.

"We knew it wouldn't yield much," I replied, for all the good my chiming in would do. I doubted Itachi was seeking any remarks. "The information they were willing to share will do us some good at least. They're closing in on a decision, and it looks good for us. Tsunade has witnessed this tension for as long as she's been alive, Itachi. She wants to unite our cities as much as anyone."

Itachi cut his eyes towards me without another comment, but I noticed the strain in his knuckles loosening gradually. Itachi had every right to feel frustrated; every step forward we took, someone else knocked us back two. The elders in the city of light were as opposed to a treaty as those in our own home, too trapped in tradition to see a future with change. We were battling people in our own city at this rate, just as much as were in Lumen. "Our tenacity is going to outlive the bastards, anyway," I muttered under my breath. Itachi attempted to cover his snort with a cough, but it ruined his look of disapproval all the same.

"I'm thankful we convinced Naruto to wait for us. He isn't going to take the news well." Itachi's shoulders sagged, mimicking my own dread. Naruto had suffered during these last few months of tentative peace while we tried to reach an agreement. Having been born in Lumen, Naruto's parents had both been targets of political assassins. They'd been killed not long after Naruto had been born and, in fear that he would be killed as well, it had been decided that they would send him here. Citizens in our city had treated Naruto like an outcast, a monster; those in his birthplace looked on him like he was a traitor.

Growing up alongside my family had meant Naruto had a modicum of power, and he'd taken that and run with it. People respected him as an adult even when they'd hated him as a child, but he had toiled for that respect and love. He'd had to prove himself more times than I could count. For someone born into the title I had, I couldn't imagine Naruto's struggles. He'd been a voice for both cities in time, and especially in the past few months. He'd lent his influence and loyalty out to prove that the treaty would benefit all of us, and seeing Tsunade—someone Naruto had once trusted—take so long to reach a decision was hurting my friend.

"We're all stretched thin," I sighed, "it's out of our hands for now and we need to let it run its course. Any further meddling will only backfire." I hoped I was right for all our sakes. I could already see the disappointment coming, and even when it was out of my hands, I couldn't help but to feel guilty. It was partly my family's fault that this treaty deal was so difficult. My father was too paranoid, too hungry for power and control, and that was being fed by elders in my family. Trying to undermine my own family was…challenging, to say the least.

"He got there before we did," I heard Itachi say. I glanced up to see Naruto's car in our driveway, but he was only getting out, he must've only just arrived. When he leaned against the trunk of his car, the stormy expression on his face warned me he already anticipated how the meeting had gone. I steeled myself before I left the car. As odd as it sounded, I felt more comfortable approaching skeevy political leaders in enemy territory than I currently did Naruto. He was a far greater force to be reckoned with, even when I knew he'd never lay a hand on me.

"What's that?" Naruto asked, nodding his head towards the manila folder I was holding. "More shit for us to sift through while they sit on their asses?" His voice was practically a snarl.

"Calm down," I warned him. He sank back against his car some, blowing out a long exhale. I couldn't fault him for it, but I wasn't going to stand for him taking his irritation out on me, either. "These are files Tsunade's assistant gave us. I haven't gone through all of them, but some are reports and others contain economic statuses. It's valuable information that she was willing to share, we should be grateful. I told you we were heading in the right direction."

Naruto ran a hand down his face with an irate mutter. I expected another complaint to come forward, but before he could speak up, Itachi's voice broke in.

"Sasuke, look at the windows." The distress in his voice was palpable enough to make my hackles rise. It made me not want to turn and look—if I didn't, I could stay in the moment that nothing was wrong, that everything was still okay. Once I turned and saw the broken glass, some of the shards still jagged in the windowsill, all that fell away. I was running for the house with Itachi still calling my name, too gone in my panic to understand that whoever had broken in may still be inside. The door was standing wide open when I burst in, Amaya's name falling from my mouth in a shout. No answer came.

Itachi and Naruto rushed in behind me, but I hardly heard them past the ringing in my ears. Distantly, I heard Itachi calling out for Alex and our mother. The silence in the house was heavy on all of us, but when no answer came for Itachi, either, I realized he was suffocating as much as I was. I was seconds away from running upstairs to search for any signs of them. Though, the stone silence spoke volumes of how awful it would be if they weren't answering. Images of the worst-case scenarios flashed in my head, from Amaya lying in a pool of her own blood in our room to someone breaking in and wrenching the two of them away. All when we had promised to keep Alex and Amaya both safe.

"Itachi!" Alex's frantic voice came from up the stairs. I hardly had time to look towards them before the younger man was racing past me and into my brother's open arms. A sob wracked the Feles' body while Itachi tried in vain to soothe him, his arms locked around Alex's waist. As relieved as I was to see him, the relief was ice cold; it hurt more than it soothed. I glanced up the staircase, waiting with baited breath, but no one else came down.

"Where is she?" I asked, breathless. Alex's violent shaking worsened, I could hear his teeth clacking when he struggled to speak. " _Where is she?_ " I demanded once again, my fists trembling at my sides. Why wouldn't he fucking spit it out already?

Itachi gave me a look as he moved his hands to Alex's shoulders, trying to get the boy to look at him. "Alex, listen to me, we can't understand you. You have to calm down, can you tell us what happened? Are you hurt?" Itachi implored Alex to listen, but it did us no good. Alex was in shock.

I flinched when he suddenly dropped to his knees, sinking like a stone before Itachi could catch him. "She's gone," Alex whispered, his voice so faint I nearly missed it.

I knelt beside him and reached out to take his arm. "What do you mean?" I asked, commanding he clarify. "What happened, Alex? Where's Amaya, are you saying someone took her?"

Alex nodded his head in a motion so jerky it looked like it had to hurt. "They took her," he rasped, panic having scratched his voice raw. "They broke in and they took her—she made me run, and they took her!" He fell into another sob that sounded like it was wrenched from the bottom of his chest. It was a horrible, heartbreaking sound.

"Who was it?" I hoped my voice sounded kinder this time, but to my own ears, it sounded like I was talking through water. I felt like I was sinking. "Who took her, Alex?"

Alex didn't answer for a minute, but it looked like he was trying to, only that the words were getting stuck in his throat. Finally, he heaved out the answer, for all the good it was. "The whitecoats, they came and took her—they're taking her back to the lab, I know they are! She'll never make it out!" Alex's hysteric shouting dissolved into a full-blown panic attack moments later, leaving me without any hope of getting him to talk again. Itachi wrapped the younger boy in a hug, his weak attempts at hushing him were fruitless.

I sat back on my heels and pressed my hand against my forehead, any efforts to impede the oncoming migraine were futile. "What the hell does he mean with whitecoats?" I snapped, my fangs cutting into my own lip when my rage lapsed my self-control. And what lab was Alex talking about? A doctor's lab? What purpose would—

My eyes snapped wide, the bitter taste of realization covering my tongue. The epiphany was as jarring and sudden as a crack to the head, leaving me to feel dizzy and sick. I blacked out for all of a second, but if I'd been about to sway, I didn't notice. Naruto reached out to steady me, concern crackling in the movement.

"Sasuke?" he asked, hesitant.

It took me a moment to swallow the nausea down. "I think I know who took her and tried to take Alex," I admitted, my voice sounding like loose gravel. Itachi's eyes were heavy and expectant as they all waited for me to continue, the only other sound that of Alex struggling to breathe. "Orochimaru."

Itachi flinched at the name and I felt Naruto's hand tighten on my shoulder. It was the only answer I could come up with. "It has to be him. Amaya described him almost exactly when she told me she and her brother were stolen and trapped in a laboratory as kids." I ran a hand through my hair, growing more distressed by the second. "The 'whitecoats' must be the doctors that perform his experiments. I don't understand why he would want them back, how would he even know where they were?" I snapped, yanking away from Naruto and storming towards the broken door.

"You know how." Itachi's cold voice brought pause to my own rage, if briefly. I turned to face him and demand explanation, but the sight of his eyes, usually so warm and dark, stopped me dead. They were a deep red, a color they hadn't been in ages. Itachi almost never allowed his control to lapse. I had to remind myself that he was as angry as I was; Alex was safe in his arms, but they had broken in and put him in as equal danger as Amaya. "You stood in Fugaku's way, Sasuke. You and Amaya angered him and he wants to punish you both." Itachi straightened, Alex still encased in his protective embrace. "He never cut contact with Oto, not after all the money and slaves Orochimaru delivered to him. Fugaku must've told Orochimaru he had Alex and Amaya here to get rid of them. After Orochimaru figured out they were lost experiments, he'd never turn them down."

Fury launched through my bloodstream and into my nerves. Without any other place to exert the onslaught of adrenaline, I curled my fist and threw it into the wall, cracking it under my knuckles. "I'll kill him," I snarled, blood tinting the words as my fangs once against cut into my own lip and tongue.

"Sasuke, you need to calm down," Naruto's words filtered in through the red haze curling around my focus. "Losing yourself isn't gonna help her. We have to get to her before something happens to her!"

Where would we start? Where was I supposed to go? "We don't know where they could've gone. He wouldn't have taken her to the hideout in the city, it's too close…" It was too obvious.

"You don't know that." Itachi gathered Alex into his arms, the boy having finally begun to quiet, he looked like he was delving into a state of catatonia. His breathing was short and shallow, and his eyes were glazed, like he couldn't see or hear what was happening around him. He needed to get help for the shock he was setting into, fast. "Do you think that Orochimaru believes you'll go after her? She was sold as a pet to you, she wasn't meant to be anything. He trusts that none of us here will care enough to go after them." Itachi cradled Alex's head beneath his hand, carefully walking past us. "It's our best chance right now, Sasuke. You'll have the element of surprise. I have to tend to Alex, I'm sorry…"

Itachi looked pained as he glanced at me, but I could never fault him for putting his mate first when Alex needed it. I clenched my jaw as I nodded. "Naruto and I will go. If we aren't back by nightfall…" I trailed off. There was no need to finish the sentence. Naruto had come to stand beside me, his fists clenched and crackling with malicious intent of his own.

"Don't fight unless you have to, little brother. Be safe, and be smart about this."

Itachi was almost gone when Alex raised his head, a clarity entering his eyes that gave them a startling depth. I had never seen him look at me with anything other than contempt, but this, this was bigger than either of us. We both wanted one thing; Amaya home safe, and the people who had absconded with her killed. "Bring her back."

"I'll settle for nothing less."

* * *

Waking up to a world of utter darkness had never been a phobia of mine, but it jumped to the top of the list pretty fast. When I peeled my eyes open, there was no difference as to when I'd had them closed. My attempts to sit up were thwarted by the cold metal wrapped around my wrists and ankles, chaining me to the hospital bed I was laid up in. It had been years since I'd last sat on one—I never thought I would again. I doubted I'd ever possess the courage to visit a doctor after what had happened. I supposed it had been foolish of me to believe facing my past traumas would be on my own terms.

My lungs constricted with panic once I realized I couldn't move, not even enough to raise my limbs off the bed. My head was the only part of me I could lift enough. Without my vision, what good was it going to do me aside from serving to make me feel even more claustrophobic? I turned my head this way and that with only emptiness in every direction, unable to feel anything but gelid iron restraints and the smooth, familiar sheets beneath me. My clothes had been removed in my period of unconsciousness—of which I had no estimate of how long I'd been out. It could be hours, it could be days, and I wasn't sure it mattered. My clothes had gotten replaced with a plain medical gown.

Easy access. Easy to replace when the bloodstains grew too much.

My breathing began to hasten, the sour taste of panic rising in the back of my throat. If I were to vomit, I wouldn't know where to lean, nor was I even certain I could lean over enough not to choke. When I'd first awoken to that encompassing darkness, I had thought I had died. I thought it was purgatory, a void that I was lost in. There were several numb seconds, seconds that nothing felt real, including my own body. Those were blissful moments before my body caught up with my brain, and my nerves became an inferno.

Pain. Pain that wracked my body to its core, that left me gasping and with tears dripping from my unseeing eyes. I kept hoping that the more I blinked, perhaps some semblance of my vision would return, but it remained dark. Now my hope was that it was all a dream—a nightmare, actually, because I couldn't live in a world that was dark.

When I turned my head to the right side, I groaned as a throb pounded in my skull. Blood had pooled beneath my face, where a gash had been bleeding for god knows how long. I remembered then, my violent arrival to the lab. A feral entrance graced by my thrashing limbs and snarling, shrieking cacophony. For my troubles, I'd been rewarded with a heavy beating that ended with my skull against the concrete floor. I didn't much appreciate earning that reward. Bruises and dried blood littered the rest of my body. Some from the guards struggling to subdue me and others from myself, where I had banged against walls and floors and other people. I had lost myself in those moments, I'd let myself turn into the animal that so many people believed I was. I was starting to believe the slurs, myself.

With every breath inward, the stench of death and sterility burned my nostrils. It didn't make the task of trying not to retch any easier. The only thing I could take comfort in was knowing Alex was safe, back home where he belonged. That alone was enough relief to keep me from giving up completely. I had to be strong for other people, now. I couldn't be selfish.

A door somewhere to my left squeaked open, prompting me to stiffen. Doing so was painful, but inevitable. Following the eerie creak was a silence that left me with baited breath, but soon enough came a sound much worse than any ominous silence could be. Footsteps, slow and steady, headed towards where I lay prone on the hospital bed. "Hello, Amaya. It's been quite a long time."

Revulsion curled in my stomach, curdling what little I had inside it. My lips were pulling back in a hateful snarl before I'd even thought about the reaction I wanted to have. A sneering laugh cut into my ears like razors, dripping with supercilious bite. "Still fierce, even for someone so weak," the voice crooned, laden with false pity and calm. The words were like honey, sticky and hazy as I struggled to focus on where they were coming from. They felt like they were coming from all around the room, and I began to wonder if they were real at all, or if I had started to hallucinate.

"Crack!" A fierce pain lit up my cheek as my head swung to the side. No, it was real, all right.

"Still a monster, hurting those who can't fight back," I wheezed back. Freezing, clammy fingers dug into my face and held me still. I didn't have to have my sight to know he had leaned down and was mere inches from my face. "Orochimaru."

"You and your wretched brother are nothing but ungrateful mistakes," Orochimaru hissed, his words ghosting over my mouth. I pursed my lips tightly together and willed myself not to shrink away. "I took you under my wing, empowered you, and you run off with the gifts I gave you?" He shoved my face away as if I'd burned him, a disgusted hiss accompanying the action. "I should have eradicated the two of you when I had the chance, I should have known you would be nothing but a failure."

I lunged against my restraints, rattling the entire bed like a lion in a tiny cage. "You shouldn't have stolen us, you serpent!" I screamed, years of bottled pain spilling from my mouth. "You take innocent children and you destroy them, someone should have killed you years ago!"

When I was a little girl, I had looked to Orochimaru as a guardian, as someone who had given me a home and would keep me safe. It had taken me a matter of days to see how wrong I'd been, it was taking me years to trust anyone else the same way. Orochimaru had given me a home, in his own twisted way; in a cell, like an animal. Like the rest of the tragic cases, Alex and I both had been subject to tests of countless sorts. Orochimaru had an insatiable hunger for power, and that often manifested in what he did to the children in his care. He had mutated kids, turned them into unrecognizable beasts with shocking strength and endurance. He had struggled to channel energy through children so that they might wield it themselves—electricity had become an obsession of Orochimaru's. He wanted to harness that power, to see if he could force a live body to generate, to conduct, to control.

My body had begun to shake. "What have you done to me?" I seethed through grit teeth. "Why can't I see? Why can't I move?" There were so many questions brimming at my lips. I wanted so badly to see, to know where I was so that I might plan some sort of escape. How far had Orochimaru taken me away? Would anyone even come to search for me, if it mattered at all?

"What use would that be?" Orochimaru asked, as if he were speaking to a young child asking a pointless question. "You're nothing but an experiment, a tool. What purpose does a servant having sight serve? I won't stand to lose you twice, after all."

"I'm much more than an experiment!" I dug my nails into my palms, the pain helping my mind ground itself. I could use all the help with that I could get. "I moved forward, I did fine without you. You can't fucking feed me your lies like you did when I was just a child!" Those years had passed. They were gone, along with the child I once was. The people here had taken all that.

A fist drove itself into my stomach, crushing away the air I had. Suffering another blow to my already abused body made me hack a curse out. While I coughed for air, Orochimaru sighed somewhere above me and continued talking. "Don't fool yourself, child. I made you useful. You're no good unless someone else makes you so."

His long fingers combed my hair away from my face, where it had stuck with sweat and blood. The caress was so gentle, so innocuous, I could forget the hands belonged to a monster. Almost. The jarring contradiction between his hands was dizzying, as if the violent ones and the soft ones belonged to entirely different people.

"Did you truly believe you could have a pretty life, up in that mansion?" Orochimaru tutted, his hand now falling to rest on my leg. I winced at the cold touch, distress and disgust a whirlpool in my gut. "That you could escape your past? You tricked yourself into believing they cared about you, didn't you? Do you honestly trust what they say, Amaya? That Sasuke could love a whore he picked up off the street?"

Hearing Sasuke's name leave the snake's lips made something in me snap. My bones cracked as I yanked against my binds, snarling and spitting obscenities. Orochimaru's hand pulled off my leg, offering me the slightest satisfaction. "Don't say his name! Don't you ever talk like you understand me or anything that's happened!" Orochimaru didn't know anything, he couldn't,  _he didn't._

"Oh, Amaya. You were always so stubborn, so foolish." Orochimaru's hands returned to my legs, as if I wasn't trying to shatter my own body with my squirming and bucking. If only I could cover my ears—if only I'd been deafened instead of blinded. "Sasuke is far, far out of your league, you must know that. He may pity you, but he could never have a life with you. Why choose you over the maidens in his own class?" Orochimaru leaned forward, his cold breath against my lips. "How could you think your lovely prince would ever love someone like you?"

"Get out of my head!" I shrieked, tears spilling from my eyes, all hot and stinging. "Get out! You don't know anything! You know nothing about how to feel anything!" I couldn't breathe. My chest was tight, crushing my lungs and heart. He was lying, he was lying, he was lying!

"He couldn't care more for you than he would a pest," Orochimaru's laugh was breathy and cruel against my ear, where his lips made me shiver. "No one is coming for you, child. Sasuke never loved you, but me? I always took care of you. I take care of all my projects, don't I?"

A hand wrapped around my throat, and when the room fell into suffocating silence, I realized I had been screaming. My lungs felt worn raw, as if I'd scraped them with my voice, like tires on asphalt. The only things in my head now were Orochimaru's words, and I had no way to block them out. The devil's clutch doesn't loosen once it has you where it wants you.

"How does it feel, being a vampire's whore?"

I flinched at the awful accusation, but Orochimaru's hands were too tight for me to get away. My heart began to sink, dropping from my chest and through the floor. I shuddered as he trailed his fingers from my throat and to the hem of the gown I was wearing. "You give in to such simple charm so easily, listening to lies. He told he loved you, how beautiful you were?"

There was a deafening sound as the cloth of the gown tore, ripped open by claws and long fingers. I screamed, wrenching the ugly sound from the recesses of my burning chest. The cold filth in those claws and fingers burned into my flesh, searing into it to never be washed away. I began to plead, to shriek for help, to beg Orochimaru not to go through with this. I no longer heard half of what I said, my ears had begun to ring too loud.

"Why don't I show you who you truly belong to?"


	12. Chapter 12

_It hurts. It hurts. It hurts._

The pain was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. It reached deeper than any wound I'd sustained, and its ache had cocooned around my entire body inside and out. It was like it had thorns that were stuck inside me, latching on, and cutting me with every move I made and every breath I took. I wanted nothing more than to fade away, so that I wouldn't have to fear taking another breath or continue lying in my own blood and filth. Remembering that, I retched again, not for the first time, but nothing came up. The violent motion brought another onslaught of pain that made me choke on a dry sob.

I was no longer strapped to the bed; I had been moved, sometime after the fact but before I had regained full consciousness. I don't remember dissociating, only that one moment I had been screaming and there had been a horrid pain and even more heinous words. The next, I was waking up in a freezing, grimy cell, unchained and with the dirty gown meekly covering me. My vision was no longer a pitch-black void, but instead painful blurriness, mostly blobs of color and shapes. I still wasn't sure what was causing my eyes to hurt or my vision to suffer, and I was too afraid to know the answer. The pains still throbbed, but I couldn't bring myself to cry, now. I'd dried my tears all up. I could only sit and stare at the ceiling, keeping my head tilted back against the wall to avoid looking down and seeing the blood on my thighs and my hands.

When I'd first seen the blood, I had tried to wipe it off with my hands, frantic to clean away the evidence. If I couldn't see it, it wasn't there, it hadn't happened, right? _Right?_

The blood only smeared, making a worse mess and now it had dried on my legs and my fingers. Now I sat with my legs clenched tightly together. It was painful, something inside me had been torn, and it felt like it reached all the way to my heart, like I was split straight down the middle. A cruel crack that twined between my body and my soul, it felt like I was watching myself break without being able to stop it. I was like macabre puzzle; all my pieces were now stained with blood, and some had been ruined or lost altogether.

_Unfaithful. Unfaithful. Unfaithful._

Shame welled up inside me and began to spill over the edges, bleeding into the pain and merging into one. I felt ready to burst, the seams keeping me together were ripping apart and I was about to come undone. I had betrayed Sasuke, I had allowed another man to touch—to use—me. I would never be able to forget the way Orochimaru had touched me, his handprints had seared into my flesh, as much a scar as any even if I couldn't see them. I could feel them. I clawed at my own flesh and felt them, but I couldn't scratch them away.

Vicious words began to thrum in my ears, bits and pieces from old conversations or shouts hurled at me from the streets. Whore. Harlot. Disgrace. They were right.

My ears were ringing.

I lurched forward suddenly, my stomach wringing itself inside out, but I expelled nothing but a heave. Saliva dripped to the floor, tinted pink. There was poison inside me and my body was trying to rid itself of it, but I couldn't get it out. It was killing me. The darkness was leaving my vision and seeping inside of me. I didn't even want my sight back, I didn't want to see the mess I'd become. There were shards of broken glass littering the floor of my cell—broken vials, I remembered. I remembered thrashing and kicking upon getting dragged into the cell, horrified at the hands on my body. I had knocked something out of my captor's hands. The vials must have contained something to put me to sleep, if they contained anything at all...perhaps they had been intended to hold my blood. The shine reflecting off the glass shapes was all I could see, but I was afraid of my vision growing clearer, the effects of whatever they were forcing on me wearing off. What would I see, what would it be?

My neck began to burn, my distress and wounds pushing my body to ache for the person I had deemed safe, that I'd claimed as mine. The person I had betrayed. The person I loved.

Orochimaru's words were fresh in my head as if he were right there whispering to me.

" _He doesn't care about you. He never did, and he never will. How could someone like him ever love someone like you?"_

No, Sasuke wasn't a liar. We'd been through too much, we had grown too much.

" _What's he going to say when he learns you're nothing but a disloyal whore?"_

The ringing in my ears was growing louder, to the point they were starting to hurt. I wanted to cover them, to block the ringing out, but I found myself paralyzed.

" _A vampire's whore."_

I'm sorry, Sasuke. I'm sorry, Alex. I'm so sorry, I wasn't strong enough, I wasn't…

" _You belong to me. You'll never see them again."_

The ringing in my ears was my own voice screaming.

* * *

 "Sasuke, slow down! We have no idea what traps or people are lurking around here!" Naruto's worried hiss barely registered past my own buzzing adrenaline. A part of me knew he was right, the same part that had broken in the entrance to the laboratory in the first place and knew that someone had to have been aware of the break-in by now. A bigger part of me was swallowing that logic whole, feeding on my panic and the sharp, heady scent of blood that had led me all this way. It had begun as a faint, watered down trail from outside. Now that I was inside the lab, even with the offensive scents of antiseptic and infection, the familiar scent of Amaya's blood had wrapped around me and filled my head. She was here and she was hurt, bleeding, and it was all my fault.

"We have to hurry," I snarled back, struggling to separate Amaya's trail from that of every other awful smell tangling in my senses. Twisting in this direction and that seemed to heighten my confusion. The world had become a blur of hazy colors and muted sounds as I homed in on the scent of Amaya's blood. It was fresh, too fresh. My fangs extended at the scent and without alerting Naruto to my discoveries, I headed down one of the twisting corridors that made up the maze of this god-awful laboratory. Naruto shouted after me, but I didn't bother pausing. I knew he would follow me, even if he couldn't sense Amaya the same way I could through all the other people inside of this prison, he would trust my senses. I was too far gone to attempt caring about stealth, now. If anyone dared to stand in my way, I would tear out their throat.

I could smell her, but no matter how far I ran into the heart of the building, the scent wasn't getting stronger. I wasn't getting any closer and I could feel myself sinking further, what if I was already too late? That thought was enough to force me to a stop, if I were to have any hope of finding where she was being kept, I had to stop and think. I had to seek answers.

"Sasuke, to your right." Naruto's warning came a second before the ripe smell of fear permeated the air. It was a man, too young to belong in a place like this. The coat he was wearing was pristine and all but swallowed him—like a child playing doctor.

A child, perhaps, but it didn't stop me from wrapping a hand around his throat and pinning him back against the wall behind us. His face went ashen, draining of color as I leaned in close. "Where is she? The girl with the red hair?" My arm trembled with restraint, belying how much I wanted to crush this whimpering idiot's windpipe.

"P–please, I don't know who you're talking about!" he sniveled, his hands pawing weakly at my wrist. I tightened my grip, garnering a wet gasp.

"You know damn well who I mean," I snarled, my fangs bared on display. It was mostly for a show, a "what if" for the young man to consider, but the feeling of his blood pounding through his veins didn't bolster my self-control. "She's the Lupus ibrida, she's been kidnapped by that snake before! You're going to tell me where she is or I'll crush your skull right where you're standing." The boy's eyes grew round with abject terror, it was clear he understood as much as I did that I wasn't threatening him, I was promising.

The boy swallowed as well as he could with my hand constricting his throat, his dark hair plastered to his face with sweat. It seemed he'd thought better about trying to hide what he knew. "She has…has to be in one of the low…lower cells, the underground rooms! She got moved there a couple of hours ago! That's all I know!"

The answer did little to sate my thirst for revenge. Every single person in this complex who wasn't Amaya or Naruto was an enemy to me, spurning my bloodlust. A hand clamped on my shoulder and made me bristle, but I stopped myself before I could hurt Naruto by mistake. "Sasuke, just let him go. He isn't worth it right now," his calm voice anchored against the roiling tides of my rage. It was just enough for me to drop the pathetic wretch to the floor and leave him to run for his own life.

"There's too many branching pathways, it'll take us too long to reach her if she's underground!" We'd gotten what we needed, but I felt no closer to finding Amaya. I had never felt like such a failure—I had let her down. I'd broken the promise I made to keep her safe. How could I ever expect Amaya to forgive me? If she was even alive.

_I can't think like that, not when we're so close. She's too strong, she's too spiteful to give up like that._

Naruto glanced down to the floor, his mouth twisting into a smirk. "Straight underground?" he asked, reaching up and cracking his knuckles. The sound was grating against my sharpened hearing. When I nodded, he pushed me back a step. "Back up, I got it covered, 'ttebayo."

I winced at the painful flare of energy, a shroud of bright red enveloped Naruto's fists as he balled up his hand and aimed it for the floor. I started to tell him to wait, as I was sure such a loud commotion would bring everyone within the building flocking towards us. The first syllable had only touched my lips when Naruto swung his fist straight down, collapsing a hole in the floor big enough for a grown man to fit through. Dust billowed around it, and Naruto coughed as he looked up at me with a grin. "See? It's not all bad being a mutt after all, ne?"

"You aren't a mutt, you're a vessel," I corrected out of habit, waving away the cloud of debris to clear the way. The large, crumbling hole in the ground had extended past a couple of floors to reveal the secret tunnels beneath the laboratory. Just like Orochimaru; there was much more than what met the eye, and the surface wasn't even scratching it. "Let's go, everyone within a mile heard that. I want to get us out of here in one piece." I dropped in first with Naruto close behind, the dust sticking to our skin. It was too naïve to hope for a peaceful way out, not with us taking Amaya back. Once Orochimaru decided something was his, his stubborn and possessive nature became a weapon of war.

The blood down here was stronger, less muffled by distance and walls. The metallic, sweet smell jarred me and pulled at a primal string inside of me. She was injured, alone, and she was afraid. I had taken off after the scent before I'd even realized I'd moved, a frenetic rage consuming the human part of me and giving in to the animal. We had to get to her, I had to help her—she needed me. I needed her.

She had to be okay. Losing her was losing a part of myself.

* * *

 There was a girl in front of me. A blurry, young girl. A child, even, with her owlish, frenzied eyes and trembling mouth, her hair all matted with blood. She shook something fierce, and I wondered if she was blurry because of my eyes or because of her tremulous body. I wanted to reach out to comfort her, to perhaps still her before she shook herself apart. Something held me back, though, cautioned me against holding a hand out.

Perhaps it was that look in her eyes. That wild, penitent look that saw past me, probably past anything I could ever see. Like she was ready to snap at any second at the slightest provocation. It made me fear even taking a breath, as if the slight sound or motion would set that wildness off and I see would myself torn apart by her intense, glistening gaze.

She seemed...very knowing, in a way, despite the way she curled in on herself, struggling to hide in the wall. I felt open and bleeding. Like her hands were reaching inside and sifting through all the memories so fresh in my head—the things that were bleeding. I tried to talk to her to ask her to stop, to please stop making me remember, but every time I opened my mouth, she opened hers too. Her hushed voice echoed from the walls, our words mingling together in conflict until I couldn't tell what she'd said, and I was sure she couldn't tell either.

Our eyes never left the other's. I was too scared that if I looked away, she would move. I don't know what I feared more; her moving closer, or her leaving completely.

Her red hair stuck to her face with sweat and tears.

Blood was drying beneath her pale, bruised thighs, along with a trickle of white that made my stomach wrench in agony. She sneered into the glass.

I think she was talking to herself.

The sound of creaking metal made us both whip our heads to the side to face the encroaching man. The dim light glinted off his glasses, giving him a chilling appearance. "Get up," he ordered, his teeth shining in a giddy sneer.

I blinked, struggling to gain a clearer visage—god my eyes hurt, my entire head was throbbing with a migraine. "You've grown so much," I murmured, awed by how much older Kabuto looked from all those years ago. He had been Orochimaru's right hand man for more than half his life. "But you're still a lapdog, aren't you? A lapsnake?"

I snickered at my own joke, but Kabuto's foot planting in my side told me he might not share the same humor. A wet cough splashed past my lips as I toppled sideways, the throbbing ache having already settled in deep. I pried my eyes open to glower at Kabuto, a man I had all but grown up with during my time here. Only unlike me, unlike most of us, Kabuto was no prisoner. He was a loyal subject, and he was all too eager to do Orochimaru's dirty work for him. For a gripping moment, I wondered if Kabuto had come to kill me and finally finish it all off.

But no, that would be too easy. That would make all this effort worthless, and Orochimaru wasn't someone who did things for nothing. Every step, every word, every breath had a purpose, even if it was only to cause pain. "I guess he isn't gonna kill me off right away, huh?" I wheezed out.

Kabuto scoffed, his eyes rolling in a condescending leer. "All of you are so dramatic," he chastised, setting his leather medical bag on the steel table. The cell reminded me, if vaguely, of a doctor's room. It was one directly out of a filthy horror story dungeon, what with the stained table and dingy cot. I narrowed my eyes, struggling to make out the shapes Kabuto was taking from the bag. It looked like vials, the sloshing liquid inside them thick and black like tar. The silver gleam of a needle was what captured my attention.

"What is that?" I asked, distress rising like hot air in my chest as I watched Kabuto fill the syringe with the syrupy liquid. I tried to sit up (to run, to fight? I would never know) but before I could get to my feet, Kabuto was planting his foot in my back to keep me on the ground. I screamed out in rage, his weight making me cringe as he knelt.

"It's only a little something to help calm you," he muttered. The needle was cold and stung going into my temple, but it was nothing compared to when he pressed the plunger. I shrieked at the awful sensation, like fire was spreading through my veins. "After all, you can't fight if you never see it coming."

Water filled my eyes, blurring my vision first. Soon, darkness bled in from the edges, the same blobby and liquid look as tears. It was like he'd poured ink into my eyes. A despaired sound wrenched from somewhere deep inside me, the driest corners of my lungs shriveling with the force behind it. It had been poison that was blinding me. I couldn't go blind, how would I defend myself? How could I take care of the people I loved, how I could I ever do anything that I loved? "What have you done?!" I screeched, clawing at the floor and at Kabuto's leg. He hissed, stumbling back and off my body. I dragged myself up, blindly pushing myself into the corner of my cell and hitting my head against the wall. I couldn't see even the shapes around me, I was lost. I was lost in my own head. Servants were shot if they couldn't work; how I could learn to work like this when I didn't even want to consider living this way?

"It's a shame you won't get to look your lover in the eyes anymore, but I'm sure you can imagine well enough," Kabuto snickered. I spat out a vicious snarl in the direction I hoped he was standing.

"I'm sorry I took your fucking place," I spitefully sneered. The back of Kabuto's hand cracked across my face, the suddenness and force behind the impact knocked me back against the wall for the second time. God damn, that wall was hard.

"You won't be so mouthy for long," Kabuto's voice had dropped to subzero, lacking the smug humor it had earlier. "Everyone breaks."

I listened to him leave, the barred door slipping back into place and locking me inside. A part of me found it funny, even when I thought I'd lost all mirth. It was redundant, wasn't it? I couldn't see to make it very far, even if the door was locked or not. I bowed my head into my hands and tucked my knees to my chest, even closing my eyes to pretend as much as I could that the darkness was my own doing. If I opened my eyes, I would be able to see, still. I relied heavily on my eyes, I couldn't imagine a world where I would never be able to see again.

Orochimaru was right, no one was coming for me, but now I thought it lucky they wouldn't. What use was I going to be, now? What worth did I have? I was damaged goods, tarnished. The only person who would ever be capable of hating me more than I hated myself would be Sasuke, and he would have every right. We were bonded, and I'd taken that and desecrated everything it meant.

 _I_  was the monster.

My cheeks grew wet with tears, and my eyes began to burn from how much I was struggling to hold them in, but I stubbornly refused to open my eyes. I don't know how long I spent curled up in the corner that way, bleeding out every tear I had in me until I felt dry and cracked. The only other sound aside from my ragged breathing had come in the form of a booming, rumbling crack that shook the walls of my cell. I flinched at the commotion, fearing an explosion. Ironically, an explosion would have been a blessing. The familiar scent reached my nose, warm and sharp and comforting in spite of where I sat. I looked up, my eyes and mouth both opening in a sour mix of disbelief and horror.

_He's here._

"Amaya!" That voice, the one that so often filled me with warmth now only brought a frigid dread. No, please no, how had he found this place? Orochimaru could kill him!

I sat up when I heard pounding footsteps approaching me, Sasuke wasn't by himself. Guilt writhed inside me in the form of nausea. They were putting themselves in danger for someone like me, and Sasuke was only going to regret it once he'd found out what had happened.

A shrill grinding sound pierced the air and my eardrums, prompting me to slap my hands over my ears in a bid to save at least one of my senses, today. The metal bars clattered to the ground where they had been torn apart, yanked off the door to make way for Sasuke to squeeze through. I could only listen as he approached. When my eyes burned this time, I wasn't sure if it was because I was heartbroken I couldn't see his face, or relieved that I wouldn't have to look him in the eyes.

I heard the crunch of the broken glass when Sasuke stepped into the cell, only for everything to fall silent right after. He had stopped—he was probably staring at me, noticing the bruises, the evidence of what had happened. My throat closed on me when I tried to swallow, and I suddenly found myself struggling to breathe. This was it, it was over, he was going to leave me here and forget about me. I would never see my brother again or get to tell Sasuke how very, very sorry I was.

The glass crackled again as Sasuke moved, and I flinched when I felt him drop down in front of me, his cool hands cupping my face and pulling me forward. I shut my stinging eyes tight as he leaned his forehead against mine, his frantic breath ghosting over my skin. "You're alive," he whispered, his voice shaking. I couldn't say anything in response. I could do nothing but focus on the moment and how it felt to be close to the man I loved when, just hours before, I'd been certain I would never see him again.

"I'm so sorry, Sasuke," I murmured after a few moments. God, how useless those words were. It was startling how meek my voice sounded, how unlike me it sounded.

Sasuke stiffened, his hands shaking where they held my face. "Amaya…" My name left his lips in an appalled exhale. I flinched, the sound of his voice rich and comforting as much as it was painful. It wrapped around me as much as his scent and the cool touch of his hands, grounding me down to a reality I wasn't ready to face.

An agitated sound rumbled in Sasuke's chest, causing my heart to leap into my throat. I began to withdraw from Sasuke, escaping the oncoming storm. He knew, he had seen, he was going to—

A steady hand brushed across my cheek, catching fresh tears and wiping them away. "Amaya, you have to listen to me," Sasuke's tight voice sounded too loud to my hypersensitive senses. Everything felt too strong and too haywire to handle, I might as well have been trapped in a minefield. "None of this was your fault, it was mine. I should have stayed—"

A violent convulsion shook through my body. I couldn't help it, I had to reject what Sasuke had said. How he could ever believe any of this was his fault was beyond me. It was my weakness, my fault. I fucking knew I'd bring Sasuke nothing but hardships.

"I couldn't stop him," I gasped, feeling close to suffocating on my own voice. Why was it so hard to breathe, why did it have to hurt so much? "I wasn't strong enough. I betrayed you, Sasuke!" Another sob worked its way up my throat, this time I didn't bother restricting it. I had been too weak to fight them off, too weak to do anything to keep my brother safe aside from telling him to run away, and too weak to stop a man from taking what he wanted from me. The weak didn't survive in this world—and when they did, they often wished they hadn't. I looked up then, despite lacking any sight, desperate to get my point across. "I'm so sorry…" If only Sasuke would believe me, that he would understand I never wanted to hurt him. I still wanted him, even after everything, and that want hurt worse than anything physical.

Soft cloth dropped around my trembling shoulders, the warmth seeping into my aching skin. A jacket, perhaps, something that shielded me far better than the flimsy and ripped medical gown. I hissed in pain as Sasuke wrapped his arms around me and pulled me off the ground, holding me close to his chest. I buried my face against his neck, hiding, and inhaled slowly. I was starting to feel lightheaded, a numb chill settling into my muscles.

Sasuke swore, his arms tightening around me. "We have to hurry, she's passing out." Sasuke began to move and, though it wasn't something I'd ever wanted to know, I learned that motion when you couldn't see was quite nauseating.

"Stay behind me," Naruto's voice startled me, having forgotten Sasuke hadn't come on his own, Naruto had stayed silent up until then. I squeezed my eyes shut when Sasuke began to run. Leaning my head against his chest and focusing on the rapid sound of his heartbeat was all I could do not to fade out completely. Every time I got too close, I latched onto the reassuring sound and clung on to consciousness. I was afraid if I didn't, I would never hear it again.

"I've got you, you're going to be all right," Sasuke murmured above me, his voice soft. I liked it. Sasuke's promise felt empty, but he sounded like he believed it with all his heart, so maybe I had to, too.

Without any sort of guidance, I couldn't guess where we were, or even if either man knew how to escape the plethora of tunnels inside the lab. A saccharine scent had begun to permeate the air in the direction we were heading; a sickening mix of things I couldn't fathom, like the smell was trying to cover others. It wasn't until I heard Naruto emit a feral, absolutely chilling snarl, and felt Sasuke stop, that I understood the reason for my sudden unease. Sasuke skidded to a halt and turned his body, as if turning me away from sight.

"I don't recall giving you permission to take my pet, Sasuke. You know how I hate thievery." Orochimaru's voice filled my ears, much like dunking my head beneath ice water.

"She isn't your anything," Sasuke snapped, "she never belonged to you." I winced at his defense of me, protests roiling in my chest, but they never bubbled up. Orochimaru's cold chuckle came nearer, and Sasuke stiffened, his muscles coiling tight. "Stay away from us or I'll rip out your throat."

"Now, can't we be civilized?" the snake tutted, but I couldn't hear him approaching anymore. "I only want what's mine back. She was my experiment long before she was your slave, after all." I didn't need to see Orochimaru's face to know the grin stretching obscenely across his mouth. I tightened my hand in Sasuke's shirt, humiliation drawing my knuckles tense. "She is mine, Uchiha," Orochimaru paused, allowing dread to pool in my gut, "I've already made her so."

A pained sound dredged up from inside me. I wanted to lash out, to claw at my own skin, at Orochimaru's. Hearing it made it real, hearing it reminded me, Sasuke hearing it…

"You two need to go." My stomach sank upon hearing Naruto's voice. It sounded nothing like him, it had become far more reminiscent of a beast than the boy I knew. I felt Sasuke suck in a sharp breath.

"Naruto, you—"

A carnal growl cut off Sasuke's voice and I felt him take a step away. The room had grown colder, tenser, as if the air itself were suddenly afraid. Naruto spoke up again, his voice losing even more of its familiar clarity as a malicious energy rolled off him in waves. "Take her and get out of here, I'll take care of things! Go!"

I could feel Sasuke's reluctance, perhaps partly because I felt the same. The last thing I wanted was to abandon anyone in this place, especially a friend—but our hesitation would only get us all hurt. I had no idea what Naruto was or what he was going to do, nor was I sure I wanted to. Sasuke gave in to Naruto's wishes and fled, the vicious sounds of Naruto's roar echoing behind us. I clenched my jaw against the bout of emotion, quietly but fervently praying for Naruto's safety.

The jostling movement and air whipping past my face made it hard to fall completely out of it, but I faded in and out, lost to time and my surroundings. Sasuke's voice would drift in every so often, but I was too delusional to make any sense of it. My body hardly felt mine, I felt uncomfortable and unfamiliar in my own skin, as if I were trying to separate from it. Leaving it behind sounded wonderful, if it meant I could escape the aches and pain deep inside. My eyes soon grew too heavy to even open, no matter how much I willed them.

I could hear Sasuke shouting, now, but it sounded distant and muted. The rocking motion had stilled, I realized, he must have finally stopped running. Other voices began filtering in to mix with Sasuke's until I could hardly tell them apart. A buzzing cacophony that echoed and drilled into my head only left me more confused and lost.

Hands that were soft and gentle slid under Sasuke's to take me from him, and something terrified lunged up inside me. I cried out and dug my nails into his shirt, it was the last bit of fight that I had, but I was willing to waste it. The stranger whose hands were on me flinched, but they didn't back away.

"Amaya, let go—you're safe here, nothing else is going to happen. We've got you." Sasuke's low reassurances gradually convinced me to uncurl my fingers from his shirt and allow the unfamiliar hands to take me, carrying me away from Sasuke and everything that made me feel safe. Faintly, I could hear someone breaking down in sobs. It was a heart wrenching sound that tugged at a memory inside me and made me long to seek them out.

I whimpered when my skin made contact with something freezing cold as I was sat down. The meager clothes I had were pulled off, baring me. I winced, shutting my eyes and trying to cover myself. I struggled to envision Sasuke's face, Alex's, but it was useless, it was like I'd never seen anything in my life. The sound of water beginning to run made my ears prick up before the warm stream touched my legs, drawing a gasp from me.

"You're safe, child. I'm going to clean you up, all right?" A feminine voice whispered, the sound of her rustling through the drawers at the counter almost drowning her out. "We're going to help you."

Help. I never thought I would need someone else's help, not like this. I allowed myself to lean back against the wall of the shower, the warm water rinsing over my bruised skin. I bit back my voice as a soft cloth dragged across my skin, cleansing away the filth that still clung to me. I was grateful for a moment that I couldn't see, the pink and white mixing in the water would have made me sick. I could hear Mikoto murmuring in horror as she, too, came to understand what had happened. It made me want to curl up in the water and drown.

Instead I was forced to sit still as she cleaned and tended to my wounds, rubbing healing salve and bandaging the worst of the wounds. When her fingertips grazed between my thighs, her voice murmuring about "some tearing, should heal on its own soon" meant nothing to me. Not with the ugly flashbacks filling my head. The memories of sharp nails clawing into my legs, a wicked laugh as he forced his body onto mine, my own voice screaming pleas and shrieks of pain.

I wished I could open my eyes and make the visions stop, but they were still there when I did.

I didn't realize I had collapsed into sobs until Mikoto's arms wrapped around me and pulled me forward, letting me cry against her shoulder. I couldn't bring myself to feel embarrassed as I heaved out all the pain, shame, and anger bottled up inside of me. All the while, Mikoto stroked my washed hair and murmured soothingly, giving me time to cry it out until I felt drained dry and could only gasp for air. With reluctance, I let Mikoto separate from me so that she could help me stand in the shower. A soft, warm towel enveloped around me, all but swallowing me whole in a silky embrace. I dug my nails into my new fuzzy shield, relieved to finally hide myself. I stood still for a few beats of silence after, shaking, too wary to move for fear I would fall.

"Amaya?" Mikoto asked, and I raised my head to acknowledge her, but I wasn't sure which direction she was. "Oh," Mikoto's appalled gasp cut off and I felt a swish of wind close to my face. "Oh no."

I didn't protest when Mikoto took my hands in hers and guided me forward, coaxing me to follow her as she led me out of the bathroom. When she pushed me to sit down, a plush mattress sank beneath me and I almost wept with relief, my exhaustion crumbling atop me like a downed building. I was mere seconds away from slipping into a willing coma when Mikoto calling out startled me out of it.

"Itachi! Hurry, please!" Mikoto's worried voice surprised me, as I'd never heard her raise her voice. I shrank away when the sound of hurrying footsteps headed towards us, growing louder when both Uchiha brothers came into the room. When a pair of unfamiliar hands tilted my face, I'm ashamed to say I growled in warning. I knew it was Itachi right after I had snarled at him, but that didn't stop my frayed instincts from reacting as if he were out to hurt me. He slowed and whispered an apology for jarring me, but he didn't remove his hands as he tilted my head up to the ceiling. A few seconds of tense silence ensued, until Sasuke's impatient inquiry interrupted.

"What is it, is she blind? Is it permanent?" he asked. All questions that I wanted to know but lacked the courage to ask. Involuntary tears welled in my eyes again at the thought I may never again be able to see. I couldn't know what Kabuto had injected me with, nor if the two doses (if he hadn't given me more than I thought while I was out) were enough to ruin my eyes forever.

"I'm not sure," Itachi answered warily. "Her eyes look clouded and her pupils aren't dilating as they should. Amaya, can you see anything at all, perhaps light?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "No, everything's dark and it's been that way for hours."

Itachi let me go with a murmured expletive and I listened as he backed away. "I'll call for Sasori, he's the only one capable of helping her at this point. He should be here soon."

The idea of another stranger getting so close to me wasn't a comforting one, but Itachi was already gone. Mikoto rested a gentle hand rested atop my head as I slumped a little. Sasuke didn't touch me, and as much as I wanted him to, I was afraid. I didn't want him to see me like this, at my weakest and lowest. You only ever wanted the ones you loved to see your strength, not the cracks inside.

Zoning in and out of being alert led to me nearly jumping out of my skin when a knock sounded at the door, a sharp and quick three raps. Mikoto rushed to get the door to allow the newcomer, whose unfamiliar scent reminded me of wood shavings and oil; it was that of someone who worked hard. I recoiled in nervousness.

"Sasori, thank you for coming so fast," Mikoto said. "She says she can't see even light, we were hoping you might be able to help."

An unfamiliar voice hummed in response before the man—Sasori—approached, touching my chin with his cool fingers to tilt my head up. "What's your name, girl?" he asked, his voice close and quiet.

"A—Amaya," I stammered, struggling not to move as he turned my head this way and that. He massaged the area around my eyes with careful, purposeful fingertips.

"It's a poison causing clotting and restricting the blood flow to her eyes. It must be one of his newer types." Sasori sighed as he released my face. "I'm not sure if it's reversible, yet. Amaya, can you tell me when the last dosage was, or how many you've had?"

I racked my brain for the answers, panicked by being put on the spot and upon hearing the impatient sigh from Sasori. "It's only been a couple of hours since he last injected me," I replied, certain of at least that much. "I don't know about the dosage. I was given at least one while I was unconscious, and then the second one."

Sasori made a considering noise, the sound of clinking glass and rustling accompanying his voice. I flinched when a sharp jab pricked my arm, barely restraining myself from yanking away from the unexpected pain. "I'm taking a sample of your blood. I'll need at least an hour to prepare an antidote, I believe I know a way to counteract the effects, but it's touch and go until we try it."

"That's all we ask, is that you try. Come, I'll take you to a place you can work in peace," Mikoto offered. Her footsteps led Sasori's out of the room, but someone stayed behind, someone I wished hadn't. I think I would panic if he left, but I was panicking with him around, too, so neither option would have mattered. I couldn't bring myself to raise my head to Sasuke, I sat hunched down in hopes I could shrink into the bed wholly.

"Amaya," Sasuke whispered, I could hear him inching closer. My ears swiveled at the sound of his voice, but that was the only acknowledgment I could give. "Amaya, I'm so sorry…I swear we'll get through this, I won't leave your side." His voice sounded tight, forced, like he was battling it past a wall of emotion that he, too, wasn't yet willing to expend.

Trembling with the effort not to cry myself, I scoffed out a sound of disbelief. "Why do you keep apologizing?" I asked, "you didn't do anything, you couldn't have known. I was the one who told you to go, I was the one who couldn't fight him off. I was the weak one." I couldn't take hearing Sasuke blame himself or promise to stick around someone so broken. I had warned him I would keep him back, and if he were to stick behind when I felt too stuck to take even an inch forward right now... I would only continue holding him back. Sasuke had responsibilities, a duty to the city and his family. He did not need anything else to take care of, let alone me. I had tried to outrun my past, but I was nothing but a child standing still in the path of a speeding train, and I'd gotten struck full force.

I flinched when the bed dipped beside me, but the touch I anticipated never came. Instead, Sasuke paused for a moment before he spoke. "Can I touch you?" he asked, cautious, like he was uncertain if he was welcome.

Stunned by the wish for permission, I turned to face him. Perhaps I couldn't see him, but I knew he could see the shock written on my face. Never would he need permission to touch me—or so I thought, but when I replayed the question in my head, I realized how much his asking meant to me. He wanted to make me comfortable. He had seen I was skittish, I knew he had. Sasuke saw everything about me. With trembling lips, I reached a hand out. "Please."

Comforting arms circled around me and pulled me close, where I buried my face against Sasuke's neck. In turn, he rested his forehead atop my hair. I could feel the minute shaking in his own limbs, something that broke my heart and brought me to slip my arms around his waist. We tangled together in a mess of raw emotion and the fervent effort to comfort one another, for we were the only ones who could. "It wasn't your fault. You have to know that," Sasuke whispered against my hair. A choked sob escaped me and muffled against his shoulder, but he continued, his arms tightening around me. There was no way I could ever feel unsafe like this. "You were hurt. We left you alone and you got attacked, that will never be your fault. No one saw this coming, Amaya, least of all you and your brother. We should have protected you both better, and from now on we will." Sasuke pressed a kiss against my forehead. "We'll get through this together."

I wanted to believe Sasuke. Truly, I did, as I'm sure Itachi was promising the same to my brother and Alex was having the same struggle. After today, Orochimaru felt too powerful, almost omniscient. He had found us, his men had found and overpowered me. What would stop the same from happening again, another time with other people? Sasuke couldn't be around all the time, not forever. He deserved so much better. I didn't voice those concerns, though, I didn't want Sasuke to feel any guilt or worry, no more than was already on his shoulders. Instead, an outpour of other fears launched from my mouth, like a faucet that I'd broken by mistake. I was never any good with fixing things, either. "How can you say that? Aren't you ashamed?" I rasped, trying to ignore the burn in my throat and eyes.

I felt shaking fingers press into my waist. Carefully, Sasuke pulled back and shifted us so that we were facing each other, his forehead resting against mine. "Ashamed of what, of you?" he asked, exhaling a small, breathless laugh, as if I'd said something he couldn't believe. "How can I be ashamed of the person I love? You haven't done anything wrong, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Orochimaru is the monster. Not you."

I thought I was going to be able to hold it together until Sasuke said that. The walls that were holding everything inside had been crumbling, held together by sheer stubborn spite, but suddenly they were crashing down around me and everything was flooding me. The only thing saving me from drowning was Sasuke, who held me as I dissolved into shambles, sobs ripping through me hard enough to ache. I was going to shake myself apart, I was sure of it. Sasuke pressed my face against his shoulder as he hugged me, absorbing some of the shock as I trembled in his arms. He brushed his fingers through my hair slowly, detangling the damp mess and helping me to calm down. For all that I'd done to hold on, once it all began to die down, it was beyond cathartic. It was like expelling a poison from my body, until I felt nothing but numb exhaustion. It was better than feeling pain. I no longer had any arguing or protest in me for Sasuke's sweet-nothings and reassuring promises, every word he spoke took root deep inside me.

_I love you. You're safe here, I've got you. No one is ever going to touch you again. This wasn't your fault. You're strong for making it out._

_**You're strong.** _

Each word battled against the crooning lies Orochimaru had spoon-fed me. I think Sasuke's words were winning. I hoped they were, anyway.

No one intruded on us in the few hours we had alone, all of which Sasuke refused to let go. Both of us were drained, emotionally and physically alike. By the time Sasori and Mikoto returned to the room, I was almost too out of it to notice. Part of it might be because I was too afraid to hear what Sasori had to say.

"This is our best chance for now. If it doesn't work, I'll keep trying, but the longer the effects, the harder it will be," Sasori said, his voice grave. Stiff and wary, I made to separate myself from Sasuke and sit up straight. Sasori held my face with one hand, keeping me still. "Try not to move, and try to relax, it will better the antidote's chances of working."

That was about a good a warning as any, I supposed. A cold needle pressed into my temple mere seconds after Sasori had given me the instructions. A sharp, frigid pain bloomed at the injection site and began to spread on the left side of my face, making it a tad bit difficult to not, you know, jerk away screaming. After a pause, Sasori pulled the needle out carefully and wiped my temple with a cool cloth. "Give it a few minutes," Sasori told us. I realized I'd never learned who he was or why he was so familiar with poisons, and by that point, I wasn't brave enough to question him. The minutes passed in stressed silence until Sasori told me to open my eyes. Reluctantly, I pried them open.

It felt like having my eyeballs seared right out of my head. I swore and tried to block the light with my hands. "Shit, it's too—bright! It's bright!" I yanked my hands away and looked at the room, drinking in everything around me like a parched man at an oasis. It was all fuzzy and unclear, but the most beautiful sight I'd ever had. Mikoto stood near the door, her hands covering her mouth and her eyes shimmering. Ahead of me, a man with red hair was holding the empty syringe, a self-satisfied smirk tilting his lips. "Perfect," he murmured, "he's a talented medic, but he's no match for me." He tossed the syringe into the nearby trash and began peeling off the latex gloves he'd donned. "I'll let Itachi know to give me a call if you start noticing anything else wrong. I suggest getting some sleep, let your eyes rest for a while."

I managed to choke out a "thank you" to Sasori as he left, and he waved a hand over his shoulder while Mikoto followed him out and shut the door behind them. My vision may not be sharp, but when I turned to face Sasuke and saw the soft smile on his face, a rare, beautiful sight, I decided it was absolutely perfect. Feeling shy despite how long I had spent all but glued to him, I cautiously leaned forward to press a kiss to Sasuke's mouth.

Sasuke relaxed into the kiss, the tension in his own body melting. "I can't take it all away," he whispered, and I opened my eyes to watch him. "But I promise to stay and fight beside you until the day I take my last breath."

I sighed wearily, my hand reaching out across the mattress in search of Sasuke's to link our fingers. "I know," I said, a wan smile on my face. "I may not understand why yet, but I know. I'll always stand beside you."

Through half-lidded eyes, I watched Sasuke lean close, his lips pressing first to my mouth and then to my forehead. I allowed him to coax me beneath the blankets, where he pulled me close against his chest so that I could rest my head. The steady sound of his strong heart lured me to close my eyes. I was on the verge of sleep when Sasuke's voice, almost too quiet for me to catch, interrupted. "Because I love you, because you're my mate." I sucked in a shaky breath, revealing to him that I was indeed listening, and he continued. "If I have to keep proving that to you until you believe it again, I'm going to. You're mine, you were never anyone else's, and you never will be."

My hands shook as I clung to Sasuke, fresh tears trickling from my closed eyes. Despite crying, I was smiling. It would be a long road, but we weren't alone, and the road may be dark, but it's never as frightening when you have someone beside you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to cut out the subplot of Amaya being temporarily blinded, but in the end, it stayed. I wrote over half the chapter, considered deleting it because I didn't like how arbitrary and rushed the whole event felt, but was too stubborn erase it all and start over. That's also why this chapter is such a monstrosity in length lmao, sorry!


	13. Chapter 13

The first thing I woke up to in the morning were frantic voices rousing me out of sleep. I winced at the disruption and felt Sasuke stiffen as he started coming around. His arms tightened around me for a few seconds until the voices grew clearer, and I recognized my brother's voice among the conversation. It was getting louder despite the words sounding hushed. Sasuke must've come to the same realization I had, because he relaxed and exhaled a sigh that ruffled my hair. Reluctant to part from him, I pressed a chaste kiss to his mouth before I leaned up, moving slowly. The aches in my body weren't as prominent, but the last thing I wanted was to exacerbate anything. Today would be a slow day. Perhaps there would be a few slow days, and that was going to be okay. Right on time, I heard a knock at the door.

Sasuke was more hesitant to pull himself into a position even resembling upright. Beneath the sheets, he grasped my hand. I had no need to feel uncomfortable or awkward, not around my own family, but I couldn't help it. The feeling of everyone around me knowing what had happened to me left me feeling vulnerable and exposed, and I was afraid of how long it might take me to stop feeling that way. I couldn't avoid Alex, though, nor could I avoid Sasuke's family. So, I steeled myself and cleared my throat. "Come in."

The door opened with less force than I'd anticipated, creeping open shyly to reveal a sliver of the corridor that expanded to show Alex and Mikoto. Their faces were wary, tired, and Alex looked haunted, a shadow on his expression that had no business being on his young face. I felt a smile crack my lips, though the pain felt more relieving than harmful, and reached out for him. The invitation was all that he needed to launch forward, his arms slinging around me as if he feared I would vanish if he didn't get to me in time. I grunted at the suddenness, but there were no protests. While it was a bit difficult to hug him back with the way he had my arms pinned, I did manage to slip my left arm around his waist. All was quiet for a few seconds as we held one another, his head resting against my shoulder, where I could feel my shirt becoming wet from his tears. "I was so worried about you," he whispered in a shaky voice. "We thought we'd never see you again…I'm so happy that you're home."

"You can't get rid of me that easy, kid," I murmured. His shoulders trembled with hesitant mirth. The bed dipped on the opposite side, and when I glanced out of the corner of my eye, I could see Mikoto rubbing her hand over Sasuke's back. Emotion welled in my throat. This hadn't been easy on anyone. I may have been the one who had gotten hurt physically, but my brother and Sasuke (and perhaps Mikoto and Itachi, to a somewhat lesser extent) had been as terrified, as enraged, and as heartbroken as I was. There was a comforting solidarity there, that I wasn't alone and I wouldn't have to heal all on my own.

"I'll never let anyone take you away again. They won't get away with this." The threatening, low timbre of Alex's promise sent a shiver down my spine. It was hard to feel afraid when I'd had so many fight for my safety, but the cocktail of vitriol still churned inside me. Guilt, anger, a sense of loss that left me feeling like I needed to hunt. I wanted to hunt and take back my control, my freedom, everything.

"Are you…okay?" Alex ventured. I almost asked " _In_   _what sense?"_  before rethinking that bad idea.

"I'll be fine," I said. It was less nihilistic and more truthful than simply saying yes. "Remember what you always tell me? We're made to survive, we can get through anything."

At least, that was something we had to believe, and I wasn't about to abandon that faith when I needed it most. Alex pulled back, his tear-streaked smile making my own lips turn up. I wanted to memorize it, picture every detail, and that scared me a little. I guess when you spend some time believing you might never have something again, you never, ever want to let it go once you've got it. Especially if you're afraid something else might take it away.

Fresh terror rippled through me. Orochimaru's men knew where we were; if they tried once, what was going to stop them from trying again? Orochimaru was right—I wasn't a free person. I'd been enslaved to him, an experiment, then indentured to Sasuke, next. I was nothing but a slave without any rights aside from the ones Sasuke—or Orochimaru—gave me. If Orochimaru wanted me back so bad, what was going to keep him away? A few threats? He knew he owned me. No one cared about servants, no one gave a fuck if I or Alex or any other "pet" got hurt or abducted, the police would pretend to care, at best. "You could buy another" or "Why are you so worried about a servant?"

I couldn't change who I was. I was trapped living in fear, in uncertainty. Sasuke couldn't stay with a slave, he couldn't be expected to marry someone like me. Not when his father saw him as a tool to betroth to someone who could further his own goals.

I hadn't noticed my breathing becoming fast and shallow until I almost choked on my next breath. Sasuke's hand was on my back, and Alex was holding both my hands tightly; both physical touches that I struggled to focus on instead of my breathing, but it was too hard. Distantly, I felt Alex's grip loosen and the bed shift.

Soon soft, meaningless words were whispered into my ear, the hand on my back moving as Sasuke came closer. "In and out, come on, breathe with me, in and out," Sasuke murmured, his lips moving against my ear. "I've got you."

It was slow. Sasuke was patient. My breathing dropped from desperate hyperventilating to raspy, deep breaths as I tried to follow Sasuke's instructions. His chest swelled, I took in a breath; slowly he exhaled, and I let my breath out with a sigh. My chest burned and my head throbbed something fierce, but I didn't feel like I was drowning anymore. I opened my eyes to look at Sasuke, not having realized I'd closed them. Sasuke's chin was resting on my shoulder. "Guess I'm not as okay as I thought," I wheezed mordantly.

"We didn't expect you to be," Sasuke said, "not right away." He combed a hand through my hair and pushed it back. It was wild after being washed and having slept on it still damp. "You can't rush healing, Amaya. We're with you, even when it gets ugly."

Well, that made new tears well up in my eyes, and I was too drained from the panic attack seconds prior to cry again. I sat up straight, pulling out of Sasuke's hold. He reached out a hand, but I hunched my shoulders, flinching away from it. He didn't try it again, but said my name, his voice rising with question.

I wasn't sure how to admit what I felt. So, I didn't. I stated it. "We aren't safe here. Alex and I, I mean." I heard Sasuke's intake of breath and felt like I'd punched him in the gut. He knew it, too. He had to, didn't he? It had been so easy to break in, to find us. What if Sasuke's father had a part in this? What if no matter what, he was always going to hate me and want me gone? Sasuke couldn't stay right beside me forever. He couldn't babysit me forever. "I'm a slave, Sasuke. So is Alex. No matter how you and Itachi treat us or want to give us rights, it doesn't fucking matter!" I dug my nails into my palms hard, cutting into my skin.

"Your opinion doesn't make a difference. Alex and I are only what you make us, and that doesn't carry weight with everyone else." Not everyone who was important. Even with Sasuke's considerable status, he didn't stand that far above the law, nor above tradition. I had wanted to see a future with him, but now it looked bleak. How could I promise Sasuke a future when I was so uncertain about my own? About if I would be allowed to stay with him, if he would even want me to once he understood how heavy the burden would be?

"Amaya, look at me. Please." Sasuke's sentence ended on a soft plea, coaxing me to glance at him over my shoulder. He held his hand out again, and this time I couldn't resist taking it in my own. I never wanted to lose this. I never wanted to uproot Alex, nor myself, ever again. I wanted this to be permanent; for once in my life I wanted to be greedy and to have my life stay together for a change.

"I couldn't tell you. At first, when we first met, it didn't involve you so much. Then, when we weren't sure it would work, I couldn't bear giving you or your brother that hope if it would only get broken again." Sasuke squeezed my hand as my confusion swelled. He was speaking in riddles for all that I understood.

"What are you talking about, Sasuke? What would work?" I asked, worried and impatient as I turned to face him more. Sasuke looked torn, but I wasn't going to let it go, not now. I pressed. "Tell me what you mean."

"It's the treaty that we've worked on for weeks, the one we're trying to forge with Lumen," he confessed, finally. My eyes widened, but I didn't have time to voice my shock. "Itachi has wanted to end the servant and pet trade for years, now. It became personal when our father began pushing for us to take in some of our own, and we found you and Alex. We've been trying to get in to see Tsunade. Her family, like ours governs this city, rules Lumen. We want her to release you and Alex as free ibrida, not still locked in servitude."

My heart was in my throat, and I found that it happened to make it near impossible to talk. I hadn't liked listening to Sasuke talk about Lumen when I first overheard him, Sakura, and Ino. It brought back a lot of "what-ifs" in my head. Alex and I had been born in Lumen, we'd only arrived here in Nox when we were very little. I hardly remembered it. To be freed, we would have to have Lady Tsunade and the elders of Lumen to agree to grant us our independence. "How…how do you know they'll agree?" I managed to get out.

Sasuke smiled wryly. "Tsunade already has. She wants to see us, but she's been battling the city elders as much as I've been battling ours here. She asked us to give her a week before we meet with her at the courthouse. Amaya, I promised you that you weren't a slave. Now I can truly keep that promise."

The past weeks came rushing through my mind's eye like a speeding train. How long Sasuke was gone, the paperwork, his weariness as he left for various meetings. "You worked this hard? For me and Alex?" I asked, incredulous. He cocked a brow at me, as if he surely couldn't believe I'd asked.

"You're family, now. Your futures are entwined with ours, and you deserve better than this. You always have." Sasuke brought my hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the backs of my knuckles. A sudden, beaming smile flourished on my face, and I was launching forward to throw my arms around Sasuke in a hug before either of us could think. We collapsed backwards onto the bed, my face buried in Sasuke's neck and his arms circled around me. We lay in silence for several seconds, my mind still wrapping around the revelation and possibilities it encompassed.

"You'll be safe. You won't have to live in fear or uncertainty anymore, no one will ever be above you again. No one can control you." Sasuke continued whispering promises into my hair as I held onto him, drinking it in. Did Alex know yet? Surely, if we were to leave by one week?

One week, just one week. After over a decade, after living a life where neither of us could remember much of a life before captivation, we would be free. Freedom was a staggering tower of a daydream, the realization it could come true…

This was either going to be our salvation, or our utter destruction. I trusted Sasuke and Itachi, I did, but turning my fears off was nigh impossible. If people could shut off anxiety, we would have progressed a lot further than we had already, I guarantee that. What if we were being lured into some sort of trap, and they took us away from Itachi and Sasuke? What if they sold us again, or returned us to Orochimaru—

No. Tsunade was a woman I'd only heard tales of, but she didn't sound the type to hand over two younglings to a rapist and torturer. The elders? Perhaps, for the sake of old law, but Tsunade's iron fist would overrule tradition. Please let it. "Sasuke…" I murmured, garnering a murmur of acknowledgment.

"Thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the short chapter! Next one will probably be short, too, at least compared to the others. It's the final chapter. I was going to combine this one with the finale, but in the end it didn't suit it. I debated throughout this whole rewriting process (of which has taken a few months) on whether I wanted to change the ending, but in the end I didn't. It's like an old relic. I'm mostly rewriting to fix up grammar and mistakes, and to flesh stories out more, altering them too much is a lot of extra time and effort. It also feels like I'm erasing things, and I like looking back and seeing how far I've come with my planning and plotting.


	14. Chapter 14

I was woefully ill prepared for the journey that took us across the city and over the border to Lumen. I'd have thought after spending a few days over a month recuperating in the comfort of home that I would be comfortable traveling. My nerves, mind, and gut all disagreed, and they disagreed powerfully. I was nauseous and dizzy all in one go, and I could see from the corner of my eye that Alex was faring no better. Itachi's arm kept Alex tucked close against his side, a promise of protection that I couldn't offer. Not out here, not when I needed protection, myself. Sasuke's hand on my leg kept it from tapping, a nervous habit he had noticed some time ago. It didn't soothe my bouncing nerves. Sasuke and Itachi could spout off all the reassurances and promises in the words and it would do little to mollify my nor Alex's racing nerves.

We didn't want to be here. Lumen was a place of broken memories, shattered like a mirror and leaving us with years of horrid luck and strife. What little either of us could remember of our parents and our lives before we lost them were nothing but hot coals that burned us inside out. I feared that, but more than that, I feared someone taking me away. The idea of losing Sasuke, the chance of losing Alex or our new home, it all terrified me. I couldn't fathom giving any of my life up, not when I was only just getting it back. But, I wouldn't allow myself to be a sitting duck, either. If taking such a brazen risk meant I could have even a slim chance of freedom, a chance to protect myself and Alex from those who sought to claim us, I would fucking take it every time.

"We're arriving at the grand court, you can see the tower from here, take a look." Sasuke's voice broke me from my storming internal panic. I spared a reluctant glance out the window, only to get drawn back by the shimmering gold of the watch tower that adorned the court. My jaw dropped as we drew closer, the rest of the stunning building looming into view like a scene popping out of a book. Sunlight shimmered off of gold and silver, blindingly bright and proving that the city had earned its name. I swallowed dryly and almost thought I could taste my anxiety.

A hand squeezed mine and when I glanced down, I knew it belonged to Alex. I squeezed in return and took a deep breath, I had to remind myself to be strong not only for myself but for my brother. It was a special comfort only we could offer to each other, for only we understood our fears.

As the car rolled to a stop outside the court, a pair of guards stood near the door, their swords strapped to their hips. I had no doubt that one slice could take someone's head clean off, but whether I found it comforting or horrifying was what I was dubious about. The car stopped, but I still felt like the world was moving. My legs trembled as I stepped out of the car, accepting Sasuke's hand as he helped me out. He hooked an arm around my waist as we ascended the stairs, where I couldn't bring myself to look anywhere near the guards. "I've got you," he whispered only for me to hear. I knew he did, it didn't make it any easier. Physical healing was nothing compared to the mental reparation I needed. I was working so hard for it, and I felt like I had nothing to show for it. I was still skittish and couldn't even look a strange man in the eye.

I would never forgive Orochimaru for what he'd taken from me. I was damn sure going to move on, but I had every right to be angry. I had every right to hate, and I wasn't going to "be stronger" by forgiving and forgetting.

Inside the building the air was bitingly cold and tense. It felt like walking into a room full of dozens of stares that have just turned to you, only there was no one there. Once we had walked in, Itachi took the lead. I was content to follow, because for all the focus I had, I would have gotten permanently lost in the several corridors he led us through. All the way up to a waiting room, which was too florid for its simple purpose, we were all silent. The plush chairs we took seat in reminded me of palace furnishings, not of a courthouse.

It was a mild distraction to glance between Sasuke and Itachi and notice the stark difference between them. Though they were brothers, they behaved and handled things in vastly different manners. Itachi's calm and composed demeanor, with his arm draped across Alex's shoulders, was the picture of regal. Sasuke's arm was tight around me, his eyes narrowed and jaw set in an expression of suspicion and warning, as if he thought someone might pull me away from him. He was no less patrician, but far less relaxed. It was my turn to place a hand on his thigh, reminding him I wasn't going anywhere and that we were meant to be in good hands here.

"A doctor is going to see you both first, Lady Tsunade's assistant warned us of that," Itachi said. Alex leaned his head back with a groan—doctors tended to mean needles, something he wasn't fond of.

Sasuke sighed, adding to the explanation. "Neither of you have had a true checkup in some time, and they want to ensure your health and take a permanent record. It's protocol, Tsunade's advisors would only sway so much."

"They've been lenient as it is, considering how much trouble the elders' have caused. Though it has been untimely." Itachi's voice took on a disapproving tone. I couldn't say how long Itachi and Sasuke had been working towards this or towards the treaty as a whole. Several months had passed since Alex and I first came to live with the Uchiha family, enough that I had lost track, though I was at least certain it hadn't been a full year. The seasons had yet to come full circle.

"Once they complete the tests and physical for your records, we'll see Lady Tsunade." Itachi leaned down and pressed a kiss to Alex's temple. I suspected the tests would take a while, but I had no experience to conceive an estimate. The doctors at the laboratory when I was a child hardly counted.

The squeak of doors opening made my ears prick up. All four of us turned towards the pair of double doors as they opened, revealing an older brunette. Her hair was shorn short and she was carrying a stack of papers that she was struggling to hold onto. "Uchiha?" she called, offering a tight smile. "Right this way, please! I'm Shizune. Sorry for the delay, there was some…tension, nothing to worry about!"

I doubt the woman believed herself any more than I did. We all stood to follow the woman, Itachi and Alex taking the lead. Sasuke's hand took its place on the small of my back as he coaxed me forward. The scent of antiseptic and latex triggered an awful bout of nausea. I stiffened and froze, my "fight or flight" reflex was blaring an alarm and telling me to escape and get away. Sasuke paused behind me, both of his hands coming to rest on my shoulders and squeezing. "It's all right, we're all here with you," he whispered, lowering his voice so the others wouldn't overhear. Fortunately, the brunette appeared to be talking to Itachi and none of them had noticed. I sucked in a short breath, hoping to convince my lungs to accept it.

"You're safe here, no one is going to hurt you. I'll stay beside you throughout it." I nodded my head jerkily, but it took me several seconds to get myself back under control. In those moments, Sasuke rubbed my back, never losing patience, or rushing me. Once I was breathing normally again, I straightened and exhaled a slow breath. I was good—I was okay. "Amaya? You with me, now?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I guess it's muscle memory," I whispered. Sasuke leaned down and kissed the back of my neck.

"Don't apologize for something you can't help. Let's go, we'll get this out of the way." I was all too happy at the thought of that. We caught up with the others, who either hadn't noticed our brief separation or had enough tact not to point it out. Either or, I was grateful.

"All right, I'm assuming you both would like your respective mates in the room?" Our escort asked.

"Yeah," Alex answered.

"Yes, please," I said at the exact same time. We exchanged a glance with each other, smiling fondly. The brunette nodded her understanding and opened a door on the left, ushering Itachi and Alex inside.

"One of our doctors will see you shortly, please strip completely and put on the gown," she told them as she shut the door. She took us a short way down the hall, where she opened a door to a room with cream-colored walls. She repeated the same words she'd given to Itachi and Alex before she left us to prepare. A hospital gown sat on the cushioned medical exam table, where thin sheet paper covered the leather. I changed into the thin, drafty gown while Sasuke took my clothes and folded them to set them on the counter. It was uncomfortable being entirely nude under the gown, and I was beginning to worry it wouldn't even serve much of a purpose but for faux modesty.

"Take a seat," Sasuke said, nudging me towards the exam table. "Try to relax while you can, it'll be over before you know it."

"We could change places," I suggested, wily. He snickered as I got settled atop the table, crinkling the paper. I was about to say I wasn't kidding, but a knock sounded at the door before I could. My mouth snapped shut and Sasuke called to the doctor to come in.

It was a woman, her dark hair pinned up in a bun and her glasses set low on her nose. She looked stern and professional, but on her lips sat a kind smile. "Hello, Miss Amaya? I'm Dr. Song. I'll be performing your tests and physical today."

I smiled tightly and hoped she couldn't smell fear. She took the spinning chair away from the counter and took a seat, placing a thick set of papers down on the counter. "Now, I'll be asking questions throughout this process. I'll try to be quick, but there are several mandatory tests and exams," she explained, right to the point and without mincing words. "First, I'll get to the typical physical exam, and we'll follow from there. Will you stand, please? I'll take your height and weight."

* * *

I followed her instructions, all the while she didn't press me for small talk. She ordered me where to go, how to move, and asked me questions only pertaining to my health. Some questions I had answers to, such as past medical history (of which was none, aside from the awful experiments and blood work done when I was at the labs) and current health concerns. She took simple answers, such as my basic appearance, like the height and weight along with hair and eye color. I couldn't answer her questions about family history, even about my own parents. A part of me felt ashamed of that, and the entire thing felt embarrassing. But, the doctor remained strictly professional, all while wearing her reassuring smile whenever I stumbled over my uncertain answers.

A few tubes of blood got drawn from my arm and she sent them away, all while explaining different bugs and things they would test for, and that they would find out my blood type. There was a lot more poking, prodding, and questions as she filled out the sheets. You couldn't find a spot on me she didn't check; my eyes, ears, nose, mouth and teeth, my vitals, my lungs, and heart. Literally all of me, including a rather uncomfortable and intimate couple of exams. When she asked if I was sexually active and I mumbled an embarrassed reply, she offered a comforting, "been where you're at and done what you're doing" type of smile.

"I can prescribe a birth control today, if you'd like. Do you have any allergies you're aware of?" the doctor asked. I numbly shook my head, feeling very much like a doll after all that was finally finished. Once she finished her records and exams, she deemed me healthy aside from a few complications. The tests they ran had gotten sent away at the beginning, and by a couple of hours, once everything was complete, the doctor had received results. The advanced medical care was enough to fascinate me despite how done I was with all of it right then.

She said I was cleared of anything dangerous, but I was a touch anemic. Aside from that, there were a few issues from past experimentation that might affect me when I grew older, but I had decades before that time came. Neither Sasuke nor I were human, so we would have ages, if problems even presented. Relieved, I sagged into Sasuke's arms once the doctor left to allow me to get dressed.

"You did great," Sasuke praised, his lips turned in a proud smirk. I pulled my shirt down as I finished dressing, forming a weak smile of my own.

"I don't know, I panicked a little doing that CAT scan," I said. I didn't like being in the room alone. He pulled me close as we prepared to leave the room.

"You got through it, now it's all over. Come on, I'm sure the others are done by now, too." Sasuke held the door for me as we left. Right, I had to make sure Alex was all right after having blood drawn and receiving the vaccinations. On our way back to the waiting room, Sasuke hung back for a second to talk to the woman who'd escorted us earlier.

I trailed off without him, spotting Itachi and Alex, the latter of which looked a tad hostile. I took a seat beside my brother and rested a hand over his. "You okay? Did they hurt you?" I asked, still a bit shaken, myself.

Alex shook his head. "It was just a bunch of bullshit, I'm glad to be done with it."

Well, yeah, until a year or so later when we'd need annual checkups. That thought was a bright one, actually, to have access to good care.

There was another family in the waiting room that I hadn't paid any attention to; a mother and her young daughter. The little girl was staring at the three of us, bouncing from one foot to another. I offered her a warm smile, and that appeared invitation enough for her to bound over. Her mom reached out to stop her, but I held up a hand to show her I was all right with it.

"Hi!" the little girl exclaimed once she was close enough. Her mother glanced nervously at Itachi, who gave her a polite nod and smile. I couldn't fault the mother for being anxious with Itachi and Sasuke around. Both were revered and infamous with different people, but they were renowned to be dangerous and powerful. I returned my attention to the child, her bouncing blonde curls making me grin with her contagious bubbliness. "Your eyes are pretty!"

I chuckled and tilted her chin up, "so are yours, little princess." I smiled. She gasped and clapped her hands together, her brown eyes glimmering with glee. She hugged me in thanks before darting off, perhaps to tell her mother what had transpired.

"You're good with kids," Itachi commented.

I shrugged a little. "I practically raised one," I snickered, patting Alex's leg. He snorted, bouncing his knee beneath my hand. "They're not that hard to get on with, usually." I glanced up as Sasuke came back to us and took his seat.

"Tsunade will see us in a few minutes, we're almost out of the dark," he sighed, leaning his head back. "After she finalizes it, they'll be free people." I nodded, twiddling my fingers in some anxiety.

"Would you want children of your own?" Itachi asked me, picking up where we had left off before Sasuke returned. Sasuke raised his head, brows furrowed in confusion at what he'd missed. I smirked at his bewilderment, but Itachi's question prompted me to swallow nervously. I think I did, I always wanted something to care for and raise, to love and hope they did their very best out in the world. But, I was terrified of the thought. What if I hurt them by mistake? Scarred them?

"Someday, maybe. It's some ways off, I think." I answered evasively. "But a kid or two sounds like it might be in my future," I finished, sharing a smile with Sasuke's look of surprise.

"I'll get to be a vodka uncle," Alex snickered. I slapped his thigh for the joke.

"You're still a kid yourself," I spouted off the teasing line. Alex looked ready to snap something in reply, but my little friend came bounding back over, placing her hand on my knee as I leaned down to listen to her.

"Is that your boyfriend?" she whispered rather loudly, looking pointedly at Sasuke.

Smiling, I nodded. "Yes, this is Sasuke and I'm Amaya. What's your name, little one?" I asked her. She beamed at me and straightened up.

"Lyra!" she exclaimed, all proud and cheerful. Her ebullience was spreading, making it hard for me to focus on my anxiety. "Are you going to marry him?" she asked me, "my mommy says when a boy marries a girl, he makes her a princess!"

I burst out in a laugh at that, and I heard Sasuke give a chuckle of his own. Leaning down like I was about to share a secret with her, I whispered into her ear, "I think that girls are already princesses, just like you are."

Her eyes widened comically, and she covered her mouth, as if I had truly just crowned her a princess. Then, she looked at Sasuke and beckoned him to lean down. He complied, but when she whispered into his ear, I couldn't make out what she said to him. He smiled, however. "Yes, I agree with you," he nodded. She threw her arms around him in a quick hug, and turned to me to do the same before she ran back off to her frazzled mother, who waved at us in thanks. I wasn't sure if I could handle my child running off to talk to strangers, but like I said, that was ages away.

"What did she tell you?" I asked Sasuke. He offered nothing but a shrug in return, making me puff my cheeks out in annoyance. "You're keeping secrets with a four-year-old?" I teased, hitting my shoulder against his.

"Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Sasuke? Lady Tsunade will you see you all now!" I jumped when Shizune called to us. When I looked up, she was holding open one side of a set of double doors. She wasn't holding a huge stack of papers any longer, but didn't look any less burdened. "Right through here," she said, beckoning us in. Itachi and Alex went first with Sasuke and I bringing up the back. Shizune led us down the corridor towards an entryway, where a brass plate was nailed to the wall with Tsunade's name engraved.

I felt awkward and out of place entering the room. Lady Tsunade was seated at a broad desk, on either side stood the elders of Lumen, an elderly woman and man. What surprised me was the person leaning over the desk, talking to Tsunade. When he stood straight, I looked at him, entirely perplexed. "Naruto?" I mouthed.

He grinned at me and gave me a sly wink. "About time you guys showed up," he teased.

"Sit down, brat," Tsunade's voice startled me, and I glanced at her as she waved her hand at Naruto in dismissal. He rolled his eyes at her as he pushed up off her desk and moved to the side. I hadn't realized Naruto played such a big role in all this mess.

Itachi inclined his head towards Lady Tsunade out of respect, and I followed suit, presuming Alex and Sasuke did the same. Tsunade clasped her hands in front of her as she looked the four of us over. "This was an interesting treaty to sign into," she began, her painted red lips curving up into a smile. It left me baffled how laid back her attitude was. Behind her, the elders' expressions looked pinched and irritated. "The black-market trading has always been frowned on and hush-hush, but overall legal. Seeking to banish it is progress both for all of us and in tradition. I don't know about you, but I think the old ways should go in the dirt!" Tsunade smacked her hand down on the desk, prompting near everyone in the room to jump, aside from Naruto. He stood off to the side, watching Tsunade with a vague smirk.

"Now then, onto business. Uchiha Itachi, of the City of Nox, is this young man, Alex, of the City of Lumen, your mate?" Tsunade's voice rose into a strong, clear tone. My muscles tensed at the severity at hand.

"Yes, he is." Itachi answered, his hands folded behind him. Tsunade's eyes turned to Sasuke as she repeated a similar question using my name, to which Sasuke answered her in an equally cool, collected tone.

When Tsunade turned her gaze onto me, I felt something in me freeze over. "Do you two accept these men as your mates, and do you wish to live among them as free people, and citizens of Nox?"

"Yes, we do," I replied, as Alex did the same. Tsunade nodded her head in understanding.

"Very good. All of you, step forward. You're each going to sign the papers in front of you." She pushed four papers across the desk, along with a pen for each of us. My hand shook as I scrawled my name, but I managed, and she accepted the four papers back. Carefully, she placed her seal on each, smirking all the while. I got the feeling she had won a long battle, here, as her elders looked none too pleased at all.

Once Tsunade had finished, she raised her head in triumph. "From this day forward, Amaya and Alex are free people. No one holds any control nor ownership of you, you are your own person. Give anyone who says otherwise complete hell."

The old woman behind Tsunade choked upon hearing the insult, but I was too busy shouting out in joy to notice. "Thank you, thank you so much!" I exclaimed, warm tears stinging my eyes. Tsunade merely grinned as she held out her hand for me to shake, which I did enthusiastically.

"I'll see you all back home soon, all right?" Naruto said as Sasuke and I started for the door. "Take care, tell me how independence feels!" the blond called as he waved goodbye to us.

I was vibrating with energy that left me wanting to run all the way outside. The sun beamed down, warm and comforting, and I couldn't contain myself as I turned towards Sasuke. On his face he wore a soft, loving smile, and I couldn't help myself. I smiled and threw my hands around Sasuke's shoulders, crushing my mouth against his in a kiss violent with love and relief. This was what freedom tasted like, this was my life now.

It was  _our_  lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /lying face down on the ground/ Finally finished this thing, guys. It took me a few months, but I did it, and it's a monster. I tried my best, but this is a very old story with an old premise and plot points. I didn't want to change too much, this story doesn't reflect some of my more current writing styles and views. I hope it's somewhat decent, anyway! Thank you for reading, whether you're an old or new visitor!


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